With our oldest daughter, she has been going through a really bad "not listening and little miss attitude stage" we try not to spank her unless it is absolutely necessary. We have been taking a way toys from her and when she is good will earn one or two back... Do you think this is a good idea - do you have any good suggestions on how to nip this in the bud without losing our cool?? Thanks :)
2007-01-19 02:23:00 · 20 answers · asked by ? 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I think, if it's working, it's a great idea. I especially like that there are causes and effects for both good and bad behavior, so she gets her toys back when she's behaving.
I'm not the greatest when it comes to giving advice on not losing your cool, though, seeing as I owe my oldest an apology for my attitude this morning. If you figure out how to do it without losing it, let me know. :-)
2007-01-19 02:33:23 · answer #1 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Taking away toys is a great idea. The biggest issue with any punishment is follow through. If you say there will be a consequence, make sure there is one. When I was little, one of the punishments was "sitting on a chair." That's a good one too.
I know that "not spanking" is politically correct these days, but there are some times it's an effective consequence. I don't think it encourages children to hit if they understand they are spanked for a specific infraction and not just hit every time you're mad.
2007-01-19 02:48:03 · answer #2 · answered by Misty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a really good idea. Of course, different children are different. Some shouldn't be spanked, some, that's the only thing that works. Sometimes all it takes is to take a toy away. Kids learn quickly though. You will have to escalate your punishment before too long or they'll grow used to it.
2007-01-19 02:32:05 · answer #3 · answered by Simon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a good one, as long as it is well explained.
"You're losing this toy because you chose to ..."
We usually try to encourage good behavior with attention and praise instead of rewards. Like, "You are doing SUCH a GREAT job cleaning up your room. That's terrific! We LOVE it when you do that!"
This way, we feel, the children learn to do positive behavior without expecting some material rewards. We went through the "we'll buy you a toy, if you ...", or "you'll get some candy, if you ..."
We just didn't like what it was doing to us and how it was training our children to behave. Every family is different and you'll find what works best for you.
2007-01-19 02:35:02 · answer #4 · answered by two_kids_mommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
taking the toys away is a great idea. thats really a good place to start when it comes to child behavior. she will learn that with every thing she does there is a consquence. I would try not to spank at all. that really only teaches her that hitting is ok when someone is bad. Not a good idea. I would try counting that is what works for me. good luck.
2007-01-19 02:28:25 · answer #5 · answered by littleluvkitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a good idea - only you can determine if it works for your child. We have taken away time on the computer from our 8 year old and time watching tv. We were thinking about toys next!
2007-01-19 02:32:33 · answer #6 · answered by Caryn R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All punishments work just temporarily. It's the nature of children to be defiant to their parents. We did it to ours and now our kids are doing it to us.
Having said that, taking away toys works well (albeit temporarily) with our son. We use it when he is really bad because we really take every sinlge toy and put in a garbage bag. If he's good he wins them back, but if he's bad they go in the 'garbage' (even though we have never actually thrown any toys away).
Time out still works the best for us with day to day misbehaving. Time out for us is putting them in a corner, making them face the wall, and not letting them talk without permission first.
But, I am not the diciplinarian in the house. I'm the softy that lets them get away with murder. ;-)
2007-01-19 02:32:22 · answer #7 · answered by Cyber Stalker 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First you are taking her toys, then what next? What can you possible take from her that will make her conform? She will learn one day that it is alright that such privileges are taken away from her. You are not solving the problem, you are just attacking the symptoms. Try to find out why she is not listening and having such an attitude. Maybe all you have to do is listen to her and in turn she will do the same for you. Have you thought of that?
2007-01-19 04:42:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Oh yes it's right, My son gets out of line and those Thomas the tank engines toys suddenly become mine and he starts to be a good boy. He listens when I take his toys away, and I demand him to give kisses to his sister when that happens.
2007-01-19 03:31:21 · answer #9 · answered by fourcheeks4 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Taking away the things that they hold dear like cell phones,IPods,video games etc. is a great idea, and it works great, I have never spanked my children ever and I never felt the need to. My neighbor next door, goes to the school and gets extra work for her son to do and she also makes him do work around the house, like cleaning the garage,raking leaves, shoveling snow and that seems to work well too.
2007-01-19 02:55:52 · answer #10 · answered by Urchin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋