how do i rraise mydaaughteers self eesteem???? urgent advice plz?

Question

my daughter has low selfesteem..and shes now working obn raising it..after 17 years (her age)of feeling like she is the lowest and most unlikeable person on eearth..she has reallli hard tiime making friends and she is always so scared that the peopleat hercollege are gona reject her..
well shecomes to me for advice about once a week and i give her tips.. but i dnt giive heralot of time to tlk about her problems but i do give her advice now and again.. m doin that to make her stronger you know..i mean i feel like this is alittl probleem that she should overcome by herself and ifshe does then she'll be more stronger to overcomeharder and biggerprobs in the future.. todaay she came to me.. asking for advice.. she saidd that shee stutteers when she talks to people.. i know shes tryin but i got a bit angry because she is such a beautifullgirl and she jst cant c it!! she knws shespretty but thinks that she's worth nothin and no1 willlike her and that her peersonality is boringanndd weeak..aniway i said 'this is stupidd.. youve even started to stutter with people?if you dont get your confidence every1willleaveyou outand yu'll be leftlikee an idiot all by yourself' i know its a bit haarshh but i want hert be stronger thhenthiss!!... sowhhat ddo u think i should do?is whhat i am doingright?












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Answer 1

Make sure she stays in school, pays attention and gets a great education. Go back with her.

Answer 2

personally i dont think making her feel stressed that she HAS to change is going to help much. it will just make matters worse...maybe even make her feel like her personality sux so bad that even her FATHER is getting mad at her. (or so it might seem to the poor girl, if her self esteem is as low as u say)

try giving her HUGE compliments for even the most TINY of things that she does. like, for example, she does her hair into a cute pony tail that really flatters her. dont just say its nice. say it is an amazing change (if she has never done it b4) and that it makes her already beautiful features glow with beauty. i know that sounded just a LITTLE over the top. but maybe u can do it in a way that isnt so "obvious" and fake. LOL. those comliments should also be given by other people, first family members and then friends... that will make her feel better about her outer beauty.

now for whats on the inside.. u said she thinks her personality's boring and unlikable... does she have friends? is she the kind of girl who goes out or hangs at youth clubs or generally places where there r other ppl her age? if not, then try taking her to such places. try encouraging her to go to places where there r ppl who share her hobbies (a skating ring, if she likes skating, for example), her interests (somewhere ppl discuss comics if thats what shes into that kinda stuff), etc etc... that way she can make friends who have similar personalities and so will not tell her she is boring. she will fit in and feel much better about herself, i'm sure.

and if all else fails.... try letting her have a boyfriend (if the case is that u r one of those strict parents who dont let ur daughter go out on dates...no offense...i'm just saying). being in a caring relationship tends to boost ppl's self esteem and make them generally more happy.....

well... hope one of the above works 4 u and ur daughter. if not, then i guess u have no choice but to take her to a psychologist, who would definately be more helpful than me.

best of luck.

Answer 3

You're doing about the exact opposite of what you need to do. She doesn't need to be told to get over it. She can't just get over it. You need to tell her how much you love her, how happy you are she is your child, how joyful you were when she came into your life, and other such things. It's a little late to start this but better late than never. Telling her she has to overcome the problem herself is, in effect, telling her she's wrong. Find things she does that are correct or right and point those out to her. "Tips" don't help. Unconditional love and support do.

Answer 4

The reason that she has low self esteem is because when she was growing up you never encouraged her or praised her for what she was doing...and now by not allowing her to talk to you so that she can work this out on her own is only making her think that you think that she is not important. The was that you say you are handling this is in my eyes a form of child abuse and YOU are the idiot, not your daughter.

Answer 5

hi.
this is very tough for you and for her but you have to be Strong for her and be positive for he until she can be positive for herself. when she ask for you help make that a tea time moment for you and for her. sit down with her and have a long talk for her for as long as she needs you to try to get to the bottom the problem at hand at that moment. remind her everyday that you are there for her. and that she is beauty that you know she is. don't judge her no matter how much you want to give her you best answer to what ever the question may be. and keep an open mind at all times.

Answer 6

I don't think so. She will have lots of people to be tough on her. She will have lots of places to get knocked around from to help her develop some strength. She doesn't need that from you. She needs you to be in her corner and push her out there into the world, but it doesn't ever need to be harsh coming from you. Thats the way I see it anyway.

Answer 7

First thing...... tell her she's beautiful.......hug her real tight an whether it it is hard or not make time for her. a girls best friend is her mother. time lost will never be regained.