Yesterday I was baby sitting my best friends 7 year old boy, He went down to the play room with my 2 year old. After a while they had gotten to quiet so I went to see what they were up to. I found my 2 year old with his pants down and the 6 year old touching his penis.Well I must say I was very upset but I tried to stay calm and deal with it in an apropreate manner.I Thought that it might just be a case of curieosity.So I sat the 6 year old down to talk to him about what's ok and not ok.During the talk I asked him if this had ever happend before.He told me yes that his neighbor had done this with him.When my friend came to get him I told her what he told me.She said that he played with three girls around home so it was no big deal. I know one of the girls is around 11. I know I am not his parent But i love this little boy like my own and I can't help but wonder if something is just not rite. Should I try and talk to My friend about it or am I just over reacting ?
2007-01-19 01:44:54 · 14 answers · asked by blue_eyed_brat78 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I want to make it clear that my friend Is a good and loving mother.Am I overreacting because it was her 6 year old boy and my 2 year old boy or is she under reacting becuase it is her 6 year old boy and girls around the same age?I just want to be sure I am doing the rite thing. I don't want to cause problems for no reason yet I do want to be sure that he is getting help if needed.
2007-01-19 07:01:28 · update #1
what I am looking for is opinions from those who are not to close to the situation. Thanks.
2007-01-19 07:03:02 · update #2
Part of me says you are overreacting and part of me says you aren't.
The thing is that children explore their bodies. We, as adults in a conservative society, feel that is wrong. While children in many other countries walk around naked and nobody thinks anything of it.
Just because you know one of the neighbor girls is 11, it doesn't mean the 11 year-old was the one looking or touching his penis. So don't jump to accuse and hurt an innocent child.
I think you should talk to the friend about it. It's her child and you may find out it was something very innocent that happened. She also needs to talk to her son and let him know that even if they feel it is normal, not everyone will and that he needs to respect that.
Edited to add: Any time you act based on suspicion and not ALL of the facts, you are technically overreacting. Don't rush out and call CPS until you talk to your friend and find out exactly what is going on!!!! You could ruin a lot of lives by just running to the authorities. They will not investigate. They will just take her child and maybe do some investigating later! Seriously! If you care about this woman and her child, you will talk to her before your good intentions possibly ruin their lives!
Also, it may be a case of something happened and she was afraid to report it herself and it hasn't happened again. In that case, I wouldnt' necessarily call CPS so much as advise her to bring her and her child to a good therapist! The therapist will advise her from there so that if CPS is called, it is her decision. In some instances, just taking a child doesn't help the child and doesn't help the parent either.
2007-01-19 01:57:36 · answer #1 · answered by Melissa Me 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Serveral things.....the child said the neighbor.....does the neighbor have younger kids...say 6 or younger.....if that is the case you don't know what it was....you can't just jump in and start call the cops...that could really ruin lives...you have to find out what really happened.....talk to the mom again....maybe it was just an innocent case of curoisty.....kids have that....it not wrong.....and just because a child is curious about those "extra parts" and the differances there of, does not mean they are being molested. Ask again, find out the detail you obviouly did not get the first time.....and that is not uncommon for kids to be curious...if we put every kid who did that with other kids....neighbors kids or not...then a good majoity of people would not have their kids anymore......
at the same time...if you find out it was an older kid...say the eleven year old....or even the partent...then you have to call it in.....no question about it.....
but just remember....just because the child was curious....does not mean he was molested....it could have been another younger kid just being curious.....
2007-01-19 04:02:46 · answer #2 · answered by yetti 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The exact thing happened with my cousins little boy and my nephew...
I DO NOT think you are over reacting...this needs to be dealt with. Kids learn this from somewhere...it is a chain reaction. If you don't put a stop to it, it will continue on and someone else's child will be "assulted" from your best freinds child just as your son was.
If you persue this though, be aware that she may stop being your friend.
It is a tough spot to be in...I hope you do what's right.
Good luck :)
My cousin called Childrens Aid because of this.
2007-01-19 05:49:24 · answer #3 · answered by Newmomofone 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That is so wrong in every aspect of the word. You were right in what you did and the boys parents were wrong. Obviously this little boy is being touched in ways he shouldn't be. If mom isn't going to do anything about it first of all stop babysitting him...you don't want to expose your own child to that. Also I would call child protective services and give them a heads up on what's going on. If mom is not acknowledging it or saying it is fine then she too is abusing her own child for allowing it to happen. You can remain totally annonymous when makeing the phone call.
2007-01-19 01:53:36 · answer #4 · answered by mom2ace 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are NOT over reacting. I would NEVER leave this child unsupervised with your son. If you truly care for this child, PLEASE report this to CPS so this 6 year old boy can live a life free of molestation. I am appalled that your friend didn't take this matter more seriously. This is not instinct... his behavior was TAUGHT!! If she doesn't advocate for her son's safety... WHO WILL???
Good Luck and think about this child you love so much... not his Mom who doesn't want to deal with it. Make her deal with it. If she is truly your best friend, in the end she will thank you for it. If you lose a friend... you may just save a child. I would go for saving the child any day!!
2007-01-19 03:07:45 · answer #5 · answered by RaLoh 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You already have talked to the friend about it, so there's nothing left for you to do.
If it looked like he was trying to engage in an adult sexual activity, then I'd be concerned, but pants around the ankles and looking or pointing at or poking at, I'd just chalk up to simple curiosity.
This is your friend and you know her better - do you not think she'd be outraged and do something if her child were being abused?
2007-01-19 01:52:16 · answer #6 · answered by chicchick 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are not overreacting at all. This is serious and it sounds to me like you need to contact suthorities, as uncomfortable as it amy be. When he told you his neighbor did it it sounds like he was trying to tell someone he knew would care and do something about it, because his mother won't. I know it sucks but you ahve to do something. If you are wrong, at least your intentions were to help a child. No one who cares about kids (even their own) could fault you for that. If she getsmad it is becasue doesn't wan tto deal with it. Everyone else is on your side.
2007-01-19 01:53:18 · answer #7 · answered by In Luv w/ 2 B, 1 G + 1 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You've tried speaking with his mother now it's time to contact authorities. She allows her son to play with older children who are abusing him sexually. And she tinks nothing of it. If this child is not given the help he needs he will have many problems later in life. I'm sorry to say this but the proper care of children and giving them a safe atmoshere to grow and play in is more important than any friendship.
2007-01-19 01:52:45 · answer #8 · answered by autumnofserenity@sbcglobal.net 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
yes you should talk to her, i don't know why she wouldn't believe a 7 year old. hes knows whats going on. kids lie but i don't think the child is lying. if she want listen take it to a higher authority. this is nothing to play with. I wish u the best of luck. P.S. do it for the kid
2007-01-19 01:52:40 · answer #9 · answered by ladylibra247 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
His neighbor should NOT be touching him there. Period. End of statement. There is something seriously wrong there, unless the little guy is making it up. Chances are a six year old isnt.
2007-01-19 01:51:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋