We only got engaged about three weeks ago and my fiance is refusing to talk about weddings already. He said he is sick of hearing about it! Is this normal? Have any other ladies had this problem and how did you get round it???
All advice is appreciated.
2007-01-19 01:21:14 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
all men are the same..... your engaged and he reckons that's all there is to it for another while. for him the wedding is another step on the ladder not the culmination of this one. take it easy on him......... give him a chance to assimilate the engagement and then talk about the wedding in another while. do it step by step - ask for approximate date and then go find hotel/church etc. then take a break from it all and forget about it for another while. then talk about the next step in the process. i'm not married but my boyfriend just asked me to move in with him and of course i got all 'can we paint? can we buy a new bed? canwe can we can we.....?" and got told that i'm acting insane. men do things one BABYSTEP at a time, not one step at a time like us. give him time!!!!
2007-01-19 01:35:22 · answer #1 · answered by Sinead G 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
There was a lot of talk about getting engaged in the summer of 05 he backed out 2 times and finally in October it was we either make a decision or move on. I also have 2 kids so that situation is different. We got engaged in November of 05 and he didn't want to talk about it for about 6 months we actually didn't even set a date till September 06 shy of a year later then the process finally got going but it still took 2 months after setting the date to start looking for places and planning. I will say do what I had to ,....tell you insist on a few questions to be answered
1. How long do you want to be engaged
2. When would you like to get married
3. Church, Beach, Etc
Spring ,summer, winter, fall.
4. When I get these answers I will at least know what page we are on and I can chill for a bit.
5. Tell him your sorry if your being or seaming pushy but it's just that your excited.
When he was ready and yours is ready it will all follow in place.
Take care good luck and be patient.
Ohhhh you can also say, " since you do not care to discuss the wedding we can always go to the justice of the peace and be done in 1 hour" hahhahaha. i actually said that he agreed of course joking of course but it broke the ice.
2007-01-19 11:36:55 · answer #2 · answered by vcaring 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's totally normal....When I first got engaged I couldn't wait to go through all of the Bride magazines and all I wanted to do was talk about the wedding 24 hours a day. My fiance got a little stressed out over my extreme excitement. I calmed down with the constant wedding talk and things went back to "normal". A week later my fiance was actually bugging me to set the date. Most men just need time to digest things...
2007-01-19 23:24:55 · answer #3 · answered by NoTurningBackNow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Coming from a married man, most of the answers given already are correct. Give him some time to let it sink in. Start doing research on places you would like to have the wedding and go out and buy a wedding planning book that walks you step by step through the process. Ask him for help occasionally and let him know that if he wants to help, the door is open. I can honestly say that I would have helped in my wedding planning, which I did a few things, but my wife was so excited about doing it and I really didn't care about colors and other minor details that I just let her do it.
2007-01-19 09:38:04 · answer #4 · answered by hellaeddie 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he's already sick of wedding talk after only 3 weeks, then everyone, including yourself needs to back off. Let him enjoy the idea of being engaged without being forced into thinking about the wedding and marriage.
If I were you, I'd research and get ideas for a wedding. In a couple weeks (or months) sit down with your fiance and go over ideas with him. But whatever you do, don't ask him about eveyr detail. If you do, you'll find that he's going to want to elope and then you're not going to be happy.
2007-01-19 10:03:44 · answer #5 · answered by married2004 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
My fiance was just like that. He finally confessed that he was terrified to stand up in front of 300 people and make such a personal commitment. We decided to have a small destination wedding with only our closest family. He is much more open to wedding plans now that he doesn't have that hanging over his head. Maybe he's nervous about something. Otherwise you're coming on way too strong. Lighten up a little and give him time to adjust. Congrats!
2007-01-19 11:49:12 · answer #6 · answered by Renee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If a man is too interested in the wedding planning he's probably gay - seriously why do you need his help men are crap at that kind of stuff - who chooses the colours in your house ? it's not cause he doesn't want to get married it's just ribbons, flowers and favours are the last thing on his mind - ask him to organise the honeymoon or give him a specific task that requires no fru-fru stuff and leave him to it - leave the nagging till after the wedding then the bugger can't get away hehe :)
2007-01-20 18:11:41 · answer #7 · answered by zsphodge 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha! 3 weeks and he's already sick of it? It's not normal unless he's a diehard "weddings are women stuff" kind of guy. (Those kind of guys end up with pink frou-frou weddings, as I love to point out to my fiance) Most men tune out what they aren't interested in. However, they usually find something they ARE interested in, such as the food, the entertainment, the transportation, or the honeymoon. Warn him that if he doesn't want to be involved in the planning, his taste won't be represented at all. (You can threaten him with pink feather centerpieces)
2007-01-19 11:50:49 · answer #8 · answered by Alicia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tread carefully. Some people find that they spend so much energy planning the wedding that life and work and washing and ironing and decorating and smelly socks and washing up and the tv breaking down and his mates coming over and her mother phoning all the time and all the normal things of life seem dreary afterwards - because they no longer have the big wedding and honeymoon to look forward to.
Maybe spend some time building other memories and relax, there's no hurry to be wed!
2007-01-19 09:38:37 · answer #9 · answered by Em 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Congratulations on your engagement. It's perfectly normal for your fiancee to feel this way. I don't blame him for being sick of talking about weddings if you've been engaged for only three weeks. You get round this by not talking about weddings so much!
2007-01-19 09:28:24 · answer #10 · answered by Alex 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Congratulations Gurl.!...........Anyways, dont be discouraged because I am going through the same thing right now. My fiance' doesn't participate in any of the decisions that apply to the wedding arrangements but, I know that he loves me because he never wouldv'e asked me to marry him. So, keep that in mind! when I asked him why he never has any suggestions to the wedding planning, he told me that he just wasn't into all of that type of stuff. He just wants me to plan everything really nice, he'll pay, and he just wants to show up and have a good time.But it was nothin' personal.
2007-01-19 10:06:42 · answer #11 · answered by misskashmere 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋