I have a 4 year old boy whom i love dearly and not sure if i want to have another baby, (go through sleepless nights all again!). One day i think yes then the other no, my hubby is ok with my decision either way. but my brain will explode with thinking about all the time.
2007-01-19 01:16:56 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Our second child turned out to be twins. Everything in stereo.
2007-01-19 01:20:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say wether or not you have to work, which I think is a big consideration. Personally childbirth is the least most natural thing I have ever done, so I didn't particularly want to do it again. However my husband was an only child and always felt he would have liked a sibling (I have 2 brothers). I bowed to slight pressure mainly because I wanted a girl (I have 2 strapping lads, 17 and 19 and wouldn't change it for the world ). My biggest worry, apart from delivery once I was again pregnant was I couldn't possibly believe that I would love another child as much as I did my first, this was dispelled the minute he was born. I honestly think that my guys would be lost in some way and missing out in others if they did'nt have each other. I consider myself to be a very lucky mum indeed now but do understand and empathise with your indecision. Sleepless nights are a very short lived time when you think of the bigger picture, I'm so glad I did it and part of me regrets not going for a third. I hope this helps in some small way.
2007-01-19 01:48:27 · answer #2 · answered by julie c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a two year old daughter who i love more than anything else in the world and suddenly i took not well. After i began to get better i still felt as though something was wrong so i went to the doctors only to find out i was actually three months pregnant (my periods never come on time and i could go up to 5 months without one). I felt this was too soon and i really didn't want another baby but i had to get used to it which was hard. Anyway eventually when my second daughter daughter was born two months premature i adored her so much and love just the same as my first daughter. Ive had abit of a time with her being premature but shes a fighter and im very prowed of her. The decision is up to you but i personally think if you can give it soo much love to your first then you'll be great with your second.
Please don't let anyone influence your thought. Its up to you. Its your life.
Good luck on your decision
2007-01-19 01:38:43 · answer #3 · answered by lisa_mcd1234 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was brought up as an only child and was so envious of my friends having brothers and sisters. They use to complain their sister had pinched this or that and argue over the remote and I just use to wish it was me. I am still envious now that my friends have got siblings they are in touch with. One friend is really close to her sister and its so nice for her. At least when their parents die they will still have some connection to their roots. My husband and I aare planning on starting a family soon and definitely want two (nature permitting) therefore.
But whilst my decision is based a lot on me being an only child, I also want at least two children in my life as a parent. Therefore, whilst to some extent a second child can be more for the first child's benefit, you have to want it yourself too. At the end of the day you could do it completely for the benefit of your first child, feel tied down when bringing up your second child, then the two siblings might grow up and not even keep in contact with each other.
I think follow your heart.
2007-01-19 01:49:18 · answer #4 · answered by molly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4 to 5 years is a good gap - one will be at school whilst the new one is taking more of your time and attention.
Your ultimate decison must also be influenced by your age, household income stuff like that...
But it is nice for an only child to have a sibling (even if they only begin to appreciate this when they are older! ;-)
If the pregnancy and the borth and the first 6 months are the daunting bit (BEAR in mind that the 2nd is genearlly expected to be so much easier than the first)...maybe you should look into fostering? Especially if wjhat you would like is to have a second child around but without the early hassles?
2007-01-19 01:23:39 · answer #5 · answered by fumingpuma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i feel the same way, i have an 8 year old daughter but i would like a #nother child just not for a few more years, like you i think of the sleepless nights, the crying, the responsibility, not being able to just do what i want?
its so hard trying to decide, i think that when you are ready you will feel certain you want another child as i will i think.
good luck!!!
2007-01-19 01:20:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a 6 year old , a 3 year old, and I am five and a half months pregnant. I realize now just how much easier it was with just one, but wouldn't trade my kids for anything. Each child is soo different, so you experience things in a whole new way. If you are having doubts, then wait until you are absolutely sure you are ready for another one.
2007-01-22 23:54:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son is now 7 and I do not want any more. Now he's at school I feel that I can have a bit of a life and start seeing my friends (and not just the ones who also have children!). I don't want to go through pregnancy, child birth, or mid-night feedings again!!
My son would love a brother or a sister and I wish he did have one, but unfortunately that will be one wish that won't be fulfilled - well not by me anyway!!
2007-01-19 01:30:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its you decision and one your obviously struggling with. I find myself in the same position. Giving birth doens't put me of having another but the thought of the sleepless nights, feeling like a zombie and being so tired again doesn't appeal to me!
I know people say it is easier with your second but I don't know. I don't think having just the one child is cruel, as long as you don't spoil!
2007-01-19 01:51:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We had a bit of disfunctionality with contraception and ended up with a second. She's 18 now and I wouldn't be without her. Forget the sleepless nights and nappies, there's worse to come, trust me,lol.
2007-01-19 01:29:15 · answer #10 · answered by Del Piero 10 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never got the choice to have another one nature sorted that out for me.
Im not sure If I would have had another one anyway as I cant imagine loving anyone else as much as I love my son, but It would be nice to have been given the choice.
If you are after advice I would say have another one it is much better for children not to be the only child, everyone needs brothers and sisters, luckily my son has step bros and sis due to my hubbys first marriage. good luck xx
2007-01-19 01:23:01 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋