What the hell do I do now?

Question

Ok, so the father of my child and I broke up like 2 months ago. I am slowly but surley getting over it. But, he's making things so complicated for me. He broke up with me because he tells me he doesn't have feelings for me anymore. I accepted that and now I'm moving on. The first month I was crushed; but latley I really haven't felt too bad about it because three days after we broke up he got with someone else and they've been together ever since. Now they are moving in together. I am not even upset about that part. Now, all of a sudden he's been treating me really badly, and I just leave him alone. When it's time for him to see his daughter...I let him see her and I don't try to make conversation b/c I don't have anything to say to him. And at the same time it seems as though he doesn't want anything to do with me! But what bothers me the most is that his g/f has been writing me foul letters and callin me with some b.s. I stay out of it but there is only so much I can take!

Answer 1

his new girlfriend is only jealous of you because u have what she does not have and that is his child! you have advantage over her so ofcourse she will be hateful....
look make sure you move on, and make sure it is someone wayyy better than your ex could ever be~

Answer 2

If he's on the birth certificate as the father, he may be legally entitled to visitation with his child, and also bound to child support. If not, just tell him he's not the father and be done with him.
If he is, you need to talk to him first. Tell him to stop his new GF from calling. If he won't, or says "he can't" "its a free country" or other BS, tell him you'll get a restraining order against the two of them which will either deny him visits or restrict them to court supervised visits.
This new girl may be his GF, but she is nothing to you and your daughter and she has no right to call and bother you. If he is any kind of man, he'll understand that providing a good home environment for his daughter is more important than anything. Even though you two are not getting along, he still still needs to help protect that little girl from all this kind of BS.
Keep all the letters she has written, keep a record (answering machine or just write down what she says, when she calls, etc.) of phone calls. You may need them later.
Unfortunately, you two will have to talk to each other. As long as he's a good Dad, and he can keep his psycho GF on a leash, I don't think there's any reason to deny your daughter the benefit of seeing her dad.
Check in with your local county family services division and see if they have any good ideas too.
I hope evrything works out well for you two, and God bless you!

Answer 3

Sadly it sounds as though you and your ex need to find a way to agree to meet alone and not allow her to have any interaction with your daughter because if you show him the letters and he doesn't stop the actions of his girlfriend then tell him you will be forced to file a restraining order due to those letters which will be viewed as harrassment. It appears that the best you can do for now is continue to do what you are doing and don't open her letters. (but save them for evidence) Odds are that relationship won't last too long. You just need to master the relationship that is between you your baby and your ex. See if you can arrange the meetings without you and a trusted friend or family member if things get too bad. But if there is no court order of visitation and no court order of child support then you should probably take care of that and provide the court with her letters. I would definitely get all my legal needs in order and make sure you get it where your daughter is not around her because she sounds like trouble for your daughter in the long run.

Answer 4

Well that is life welcome to the world of being a parent to a child where the father is a jerk. You are doing what is absolutely right!!! stay out of it!!! You have beautiful daughter to raise. Believe me when I tell you. I just got out of something like that but the fact is my situation got really ugly and bad, where alot of people got hurt and beat down.

Keep the letters and if you feel that it is to much to bare take them to the police and file harrassment charges . The only concern for you is that he gets to see his child ok fine. Go to court and file a complaint against him and ask for supervised visitations and you can even ask the judge for the visits to only be with him.

There are so many options because I almost got arrested but to me it would have been for good cause for my children it would have been painful. So do things the right way. Yeah he really wasn't into you if he went and found someone else. To be honest with you he was seeing her while he was seeing you.

Once you learn to love yourself and put yourself first you can move on and you did what was right because something is going to come out of this and you need to keep yourself cool. So before it does take it to the bank and let him feel it the right way which is by LAW!

Answer 5

What does the other girl understand the situation to be? Is it more in line with your perspective, with your husbands actual perspective or with what your ex contrived?

Most people don't "question everything" like Plato suggested, so their actions are only as good as the information they hear.

Once you understand, not guess, her perspective, then you can speak to her in a way that she can hear. If you try before that you are swimming upstream.

So he is the "father of your child" but not your ex-husband, so he can abandon you without owing a duty of honor and responsibility to take care of you and your child. Now that you are on your own for the next 18 years (minus the age of the child) you can see the value of "the piece of paper" to you.

You might think about going the old fashioned way. Meet a good man, not a boy in a mans body (like your ex), date right, get married then have a wedding night. Maybe have informed premarital and marital counseling to get your relationship off on the right foot, and to keep it tuned up periodically. Thats a way to not get stepped on so badly when the man decides he is really a boy.

Answer 6

If it was me in your situation, I would tell the exboyfriend (who, by the way, is only using this foul girl because she is convenient and helps him to fill the void in his life after he emptied you out of it) that if he can't get his new "girlfriend" to stay out of my business with him, I will file a harassment charge against her, and start keeping every letter and voice mail she sends me as evidence, and I would follow through on that. I'd tell him that I will not answer the phone if I have to deal with her anymore, nor will I leave my answering machine on (or voice mail) and subject myself to her insults. This is between you and your ex and she's just making things more difficult for you and him. The fact is, you and he have a child together and unless he plans to split like a deadbeat dad, you and he will be in each others' lives for a long time, probably many years longer than this flakey girl he's with right now, so you may as well find a way to be civil with each other, for your own sakes and expecially for the sake of you child.

Answer 7

The girlfriend is causing problems because she's afraid you two might get back together. You have no obligation to talk to her, so don't. When she calls again, tell her to please stop calling you. Also, tell her you will bring charges against her if she continues to harrass you. If possible, record her nasty comments. When you get the letters, save them unopened.

Is it possible for your ex to pick up the child, or visit her at your mom's house? This would save a lot of confusion and hurt feelings. Does this guy pay child support? If not, you need to file for child support.

Answer 8

Don't take part in it. When you receive letters return them unopened. Don't answer her phone calls (get caller ID if needed) or hang up once you realize it's her. Let your ex know that you will not talk to her and he needs to put a stop to this or you'll be forced to get a restraining order on her. If it continues--take the letters you still have and get the restraining order. Please don't talk about this around your child. Good Luck!

Answer 9

Get a non harassment order and see a laywer. Get full custody of your daughter. Set up a scheduled visitation and do not speak to them. He is a jerk for what he did to you.

Find some support for yourself. Like a moms group. Or an online group etc...

good luck.

Answer 10

Go to family court