I contacted an old friend(girl friend) we had not seen each othe in about 11 years. She was an abosultly beatiful woman. We emailed and then spoke on the phone. I could feel some of my old feelings for her returning. So we met for lunch where I discovered that she gained like 100lb. Know I feel very confused on the one hand I can admit I have some feeling but on the other I don't feel physically attracted to her. No matter what happens I want to preseve the friendship. What should I do?
2007-01-19 00:31:17 · 11 answers · asked by lowdowndirtyfool 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is good to admit that you love the person as a person but not the figure. Well, to begin with, you have the friendship. There are two main things in a relationship: the person as a person and the physical attributes. There are times we like being with a person because they are so warm inside and they make us happy, contented and satisfied. They may not be physically attractive but they are our friends. The other type is where you are attracted tot he person because of the physical attributes. The person may not be a good person inside but you are attracted to the person.
Both scenarios are ever present and there is the combined one in which the person is both attractive and warm. The question is what do you want in the person? Companionship, physical intimacy (sexual etc.) or someone who you can relate to as bossom friends. The answer can only lie in your own evaluation. Please evaluate her in your mind and see if you want to maintain the pure friendship and no romance or you do not want anything without the physical attraction. I hope I have not confused you more. The good thing (I assume) is that you have not involved yourself intimately with her in this second encounter or suggested anything close to that). That would compound the issue more. Good luck!
2007-01-19 00:46:16 · answer #1 · answered by Counsellor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you should do is BE TRULY her friend, but there is nothing wrong with having gained a little bit of weight.
Look, you began to fall in love with her by phone and e-mails, but when you met her you noticed that she is 100 pounds heavier. BIG DEAL!!!, She is the same sweet person you fell in love with.
People change. We all do. Physical beauty can be lost in a matter of seconds. Many things can happen that turns a physically beautiful person, into a "phenomenon like" (no disrespect intended to anyone) person.
What matters is inside; in HER HEART. If you have feelings for the girl, explore those feelings. Who knows? Maybe she will make you the happiest guy in the world!!! Think of it.
2007-01-19 00:45:20 · answer #2 · answered by David G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have to make a decision right now? Why not continue to be her freind and see if things go any further. Its usually good to be freinds first, so you're on the right track.
2 things to remember-
She can loose the weight, especially with the sensitive support of a good boyfreind.
And you didn't mention how she feels about you. Is she even interested?
Anyhow, congrats on finding an old freind. I just looked up a few old freinds while sidelined with a heart attack. I didn't realize how much I missed them.
2007-01-19 00:42:32 · answer #3 · answered by michaelsmaniacal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-31 12:40:13 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be her friend to her then.
friends love you despite your weaknesses
friends are there for one another
Friends love you cos of who you are not who you were or who you will be
Friends do stuff together and remind each other of the days gone by
Friends tell each other their true feelings , share dreams and aspirations
When you find it in your heart to do all this for her then you will be her friend
2007-01-19 00:38:59 · answer #5 · answered by cynnie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what an ignorant man you are, is that the way you treat your feeling, after feeling before meeting, you feel in love but after you met her you felt "NOT IN MY ZONE". oh come on, if you could support her, to lose her weight you will get the positive side, didn't you ? be realistic and optimist.
2007-01-19 00:37:41 · answer #6 · answered by OLGA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pls i dnt understand what u meant by 100Ib, tell me but pls follow ur heart and dnt look more about physical appearance, ok. bye
2007-01-19 00:43:36 · answer #7 · answered by nanevaluv 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell her why your not interested.
It's normal to have feelings.
You never lose feelings for the one you love.
It's not supposed to be that way.
There is someone for everyone.
I promise.
2007-01-19 00:35:52 · answer #8 · answered by Shauna. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have your fun with her then let it be another 11 years before you call the cow again
2007-01-19 00:36:33 · answer #9 · answered by TROLL 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ignore the physicall appreance
go head for heart
2007-01-19 00:34:35 · answer #10 · answered by aamirtaj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋