should i have to put up with this?

Question

well my mum and my 4 yr old brother have come from interstate and are staying for a week and this is one of the first times ive spoken to them for a few years now due to a fight,now the problem im having is that she is divorced but is seeing this guy for the past 3 yrs and he just decides to turn up at my house uninvited and stay for a few days with her witch i regregtably accepted(what can i do if ppl invite themselves) anywayz they just decided to start making plans to go out, to dinner,concerts etc and just expect me to mind my brother without even asking me first and tonight they have gone out for dinner but just dumped him on me,with a shitty nappy(he is only half toilet trained) and on the way out they attempted to change him but then the taxi came so they dropped everything and ran for it,and said oh well he is ur brother after all u fix it,then ran off,without telling me what time they'd be back,now i have a 2 yr old myself who needs looking after do u think this is fair on me

im 24 years old with my own family to worry about and this brother of mine is only my half brother that i've only known up untill he was 1 since then i havent had anything to do with either of them i dont think i should be changing any one elses childs nappy no matter how related they r i have enough nappies to change...and secondly we just recently (mended) this relationship why should i be used to do these things? a little respect wouldnt go astray..

another thing earlier today my mum had the nerve to ask me if her boyfriend could borrow my husbands car(who is on a buisiness conference)to go shopping in,and i instantly said NO WAY!! lol some people.....oh and download stuff to my computer while i was getting my daughter to sleep in the other room...

Answer 1

I FIRST WANT TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU FOR THE CAPS, BUT LISTEN TO ME, I AM PUTTING THIS IN CAPS FOR A REASON, GET THEM OUT NOW! THEY ARE USERS AND IF YOU LEND HIM YOUR CAR AND HE WRECKS IT, YOU ARE SCREWED. THE INSURANCE WON'T PAY BECAUSE HIS NAME ISN'T ON THE POLICY. TELL MUM, HUBBY AND SON THEY GOTS TO GO, THEY ARE CLEARLY TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YOU AND ARE INCREDIBLY SELFISH. YOU SOUND LIKE A DECENT PERSON AND BLOOD SUCKERS TAKE ADVANTAGE OF DECENT PEOPLE SUCH AS YOUR SELF. HAVE THEM OUT BY TONIGHT OR TOMORROW, CALL THE AUTHORITIES IF NEED BE. THEY DON'T APPRECIATE YOU AND TAKE MORE AND MORE ADVANTAGE AND WILL SEE HOW FAR THEY CAN TAKE UNTIL YOU HAVE NOTHING AND YOU HAVE YOUR OWN FAMILY TO CARE FOR. MOM SOUNDS INCREDIBLY SELFISH SHE SHOULD BE BABYSITTING FOR YOU!

GOOD LUCK AND AGAIN I APOLOGIZE FOR THE CAPS.

Answer 2

No it is not fair or respectful to you, being this is your home. Now if it was your moms then I could understand. But since it is'nt your moms home she needs to respect it. Your mom should have given you the opportunity to say yes or no before just dropping your brother off on you and tell you what time she was coming back. Now how I would handle is, I would call her off to the side and say " Mom I see you are having a great time and I don't want that to end, but you can not trap me with my brother everytime you want to do something. I don't mind sometimes but let me decide when. I love you and I will help you find a sitter if needed, but I feel that you need to seek other options. Now as for your boyfriend, I am a young woman with a kid and I don't want to wake up to seeing your boyfriend. Please have enough respect for us to go to a motel or hotel. Visiting is okay. Staying is a " NO WAY!

Answer 3

Youj're going to have to be more assertive. The next time they make plans and assume you'll be watching your brother say "I'm sorry I have plans and won't be able to watch my brother, but I assume you've made arrangements for his care since you didn't check with me. Have fun!" and walk away. Get your two year old ready and leave even if you really don't have plans. Take your child anywhere (to the park, shopping, zoo, etc.) and come back later. If they start to question you about it tell them you have a few sitters they can call, but don't know if they'll be available on such short notice. They'll get the hint. I can't imagine coming to stay at a friend or relatives house and making plans to go places without inviting them and paying for child care. Usually guests treat their host/hostess to a meal or outing as a thank you for having them stay at your home. Be polite, calm and strong. Good Luck!

Answer 4

It sounds awful. Your mistake was allowing someone you never met to come stay at your house. People try to push this on me from time to time and I always say no. I cannot open my home to someone I never met... I just don't fee comfortable with it. Even the ones I have met, half the time I don't want them. You are being disrespected. You did say your mom's bf could come but now you can change your mind. Try not to raise your voice or get into an argument. Simply write a clear note or announce that you would like to make some new arrangements. You and your child come first and evidently you are not going to get the respect you deserve unless you clearly define some borders.

Answer 5

No, I don't think it's fair on you. I don't think it's fair on your 4yr old brother either. I have a half brother but I refer to him as my 'brother'. If I was in your shoes I would try to get to know my brother as much as I could. I'd try to give him attention and a nice time as he probably doesn't get a lot of attention with your mum and her partner. It says something that he isn't toilet trained at 4! I feel sorry for the poor kid.

However, I don't think you should put up with this if you don't want too. You should tell your mum that she should respect you and the fact that you have enough on your plate. If she gets offended well that's just too bad. You are a grown up now and you have your own life to live. Good luck and take care.

Answer 6

Indeed this was very inconsiderate and down right RUDE of your Mum....as to the boyfriend I realize you did not wish to offend your Mum but obviously she did not care about offending you...she " assumed " and that is a no-no anyplace or time. I suggest that you sit your Mum down, in private, and take a hard line by telling her the TRUTH about what you feel and think, otherwise you allow a pattern to be establish that in time will lead to a more serious conflict between you and she.

Answer 7

find out what she really wants,and for the new guy in her life tell him he needs to go and he can spend time with her once she gets back home.
your little brother can't help what mom is doing so please don't take it out on him,he's just a baby himself.
your mom needs to wake up and take responsibility on the baby and forget the guy.the guy should be her LAST worry.family is very precious and shouldn't be 2nd on the list.blow that guy out and tell her to wake up.if she don't want the baby she needs to make arrangements and live her life with that guy or who ever.
just try to be patience and let her know what you are expecting
and if she don't like it show her the door,it's your house and your life .you have your family and it's hard to take on another family especially if it's a drop in. good luck

Answer 8

No of course not. I suggest you find some way to get them out of there and then really cut the ties. They sound like a couple of irresponsible losers. You might want to contact child protection about the 4 year old's situation. It will cause a fight but it sounds like a messy situation already. Good luck.....

Answer 9

Thats not on, if i were you just tell them you have plans every night for the rest of the time they are staying, you have to put your foot down, looks like they may have planned it, they want a holiday...somewhere cheap to stay and time out without your little brother, sorry to say it but i think they may just be using you. Show them the door

Answer 10

I can see why you have not spoken to them for years...your mom is a taker and minimal sense of decency. Children sometimes are quite thoughtless, and so are parents. Your story made me think of the past, thinking have I ever done something similar to my mom or anyone else..perhaps I did. We have to be constantly vigilant that we don't trample and abuse other's space, goodwill, and love.

It's unfortunate, whether its fair or not, you are essential stuck with it...consider it your gift for the year...and a lesson learned. Be tougher next time.