I have been with my boyfriend for 1 year at the end of this month. We moved in together on the 29th Ocotber and I thought everyhting was ok. He has told me that he wants me to move out and go back to how it was when we lived at hom,e because it was more fun that way and how we will still be a couple but it will be more fun. I dont know what to say, If I move back I will feel like Ive got to climb back down the ladder than I have climbed up so far. He says If we dont go back to that then we will be over but I cant do it? What do you suggest I do or say?
Help
2007-01-18 23:36:00 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He has got commitment issues I know that one!!
2007-01-18 23:42:24 · update #1
Also, I have nowhere to go as my sisters boyfriend has moved into my old room
2007-01-18 23:43:24 · update #2
Sounds like he has commitment issues to me, the only thing you can do is try and talk it out, have you found out each others annoying little habits yet?...maybe he's found one of yours and doesnt get it...you just need to get more out of him than just that it'll be more fun, if he doesnt have a decent argument, maybe he isnt ready for the steady, commiting relationship you want.
If he wants to move and you dont, consider whether any mates would be willing to move in with you and talk to your back about buying let mortages, other than that you have no option to go back home if he wants to split!
2007-01-18 23:40:51 · answer #1 · answered by J9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being in a relationship isn't about "climbing ladders" it's about being together and certainly for the first few years (if not forever), you should be able to enjoy each other's company without the hassles of setting up house together.
It sounds like you've both rushed into something you're not ready for and if you continue that way, you'll end up falling out and splitting up.
You both need to take a step backwards and enjoy just being a couple, doing what you want to do but still with time to yourselves. When you're ready to move in together, you'll both know. Maybe he'll suggest it next time.
Life isn't a race and you've got the whole of the rest of your lives to live together, just give it time.
2007-01-18 23:42:44 · answer #2 · answered by kpk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is asking for some space in the relationship. You don't have to assume that you got to climb back down the ladder. There are no ladders in a relationship, may be in a career. Give him the space, give him the time, and if he comes back to you, he is yours. This time, play the game well and move in, only after marriage. He cannot throw you out, may be you can throw him out.
2007-01-18 23:43:33 · answer #3 · answered by wizard of the East 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he doesn't like the hardwork/resposibility of living away from home (when you say home I presume you mean with parents)
ts a bit of a difficult question. If you feel like it would be a step down then maybe walk away and wait for a guy whos on the same level. If he is REALY unhappy living with you then nothing you say will make him stay,.
But maybe if you think hes worth it move out and see how it goes living apart as a couple for a while. My boyf has been about to move in for last six months! But I'm happy to wait for him to be ready, as it is good now, but I am lucky that he didn't move in with six months ago and then change his mind.
Good luck honey, hope you work out.
2007-01-18 23:50:13 · answer #4 · answered by nycgrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should never "play house" with a man. He gets all the benefits of marriage without the responsibility. He's probably afraid you will want to get married soon (probably because you two rushed the relationship). Things might go back to the way things were or it might not. But if it doesn't, you gotta move on and hopefully it's a lesson learned.
2007-01-18 23:42:40 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ReKa♥ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In a relationship you normally look to go forwards not backwards. This does not seem to be a forward step at all. Sounds like it is doomed no matter what you do.
Let him know how you feel and take it from there. Dont compromise your feelings for the sake of his though, you will only regret it - and why the heck should you!
Hope it works out for you.
2007-01-18 23:44:37 · answer #6 · answered by peachy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pack your bags and quietly leave. Then have nothing more to do with him. Don't see him, don't take his calls, don't acknowledge his existence. Hold your head up high, keep your self respect and walk away.
2007-01-18 23:39:40 · answer #7 · answered by Away With The Fairies 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think you should try goign back to the way thing were and see how things go. it could all be better in the long run
2007-01-18 23:41:57 · answer #8 · answered by kate m 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have to tell him that you like the new house and he cant make you go back like that .you have to talk about it and come up with idease to make it more intresting i think that you should make him feel at home like before;example; excusse my landguage but you shud go and s*x him and then make it homely between you both. hope that helps
2007-01-18 23:40:26 · answer #9 · answered by teri c 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just become a lesbian, you won't have this problem. Besides two girls get along way better than most couples anyway.
2007-01-18 23:39:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋