Is it still considered 'taboo' (if that's the right word) to be unmarried but having kids?

Question

this is not my personal opinion, I am just interested in what others think.

Answer 1

I totally agree. I don't know what you want to call it, but I call it WRONG. A child needs both a MOTHER, and a FATHER LIVING UNDER THE SAME ROOF. don't believe it, take a look around, society has become a mess. I am not saying single parents are doomed to fail, but if your just having children w/out being married you need to rethink your life. There are reasons to be single, but to many people today think they can screw around. The sad part is, the child pays the price.

Answer 2

I can understand old people being stuck in their ways and thinking of unmarried couples having children as a taboo. What i don't understand is how young people can think it's wrong. Society has changed so much on the last 50 years and i believe that it makes absolutely no difference to my child having married parents or not. The choice to get married for me, is nothing to do with children anymore. If anyone thinks it's taboo they have the problem.

Answer 3

Well, the taboo has been pretty much eradicated in our society, however it still exists in other societies where honor is still important. We have changed to accept it from both fully capable single adults who can provide most of what the child(ren) need AND from young, uneducated, ill-prepared nearly-children themselves parents creating these young lives and then drawing completely on their parents and society to get them through it. While I don't judge them as bad people, I do feel they are not in the right place in their lives yet to be effective parents yet.

I wish our society still discouraged it from these very young moms (usually the dad is out of the picture after a short time due to the stress and heavy responsibilities he is not prepared to deal with despite the best of intentions). It isn't fair to the children being born into these situations and it isn't fair to the young mothers who are jumping into something that should happen a few years down the road.

I know my conservative views will get blasted by liberals who think everyone has an absolute right to do everything he/she wants no matter what effect it has on others. But I'm entitled to my opinions, too, even if they aren't the same as yours so back off.

Answer 4

I really thinks on a lot of situations. It is taboo if you are over the age of 65 and seeing it. That generation is strict about the whole marriage THEN kids thing.

It is also taboo for a kid under 18 to have a kid, despite marriage or not.

I just think that people need to accept that this is the way the world is, we are no longer all born again xtians, and, shockingly, some people never get married at all, lol.

Answer 5

In my opinion, in the USA it is not taboo to be unmarried and have children. In some other countries, societies and cultures it is taboo.
My opinion also: it doesn't matter if the parents of a child are married to each other, married to other partners, or unmarried.
It is more important to bring up the child responsibly and lovingly.

Answer 6

I think that getting married does not ensure that you will be great parents. Having children has everything to do with providing a loving stable environment in which children are safe and able to thrive. I have never seen this guarantee given to a married couple after saying I DO. There are plenty of well educated, financially secure, adults who choose not to get married but want to have children and I think that there should not be a social stigmatism attached to that

Just like any marriage within relationships where people choose NOT to get married there must be a common understanding of sticking through thick and thin, not just give up because there is no legal ramifications. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years we have a beautiful daughter and another on the way, we MAY someday get married but our family works just fine. I am a stay at home mom and we own our own business, we have made it longer than many of our married friends who are now divorced or in adulterous marriages.

Lastly, particularly to Cassandra above, although your research I believe is well intended it is not only single mothers who enroll their children in daycare, many moms CHOOSE to work and there is nothing wrong with that. If you research your provider and involve yourself in your child’s life I know MANY children who are just fine emotionally, socially, and at the top of their class who went to daycares.

Like anything else, the primary goal of having children is to be a good parent, that is not contentious on being married AT ALL. There are horrible single parents as WELL as married couples whose relationships are hindered by all kinds of problems, (alcohol, infidelity, and abuse) these are not particular to unmarried people. In the end everyone is entitled to their opinion isn’t that what life is all about :)

Answer 7

I think it is accepted a lot more these days as there are so many different 'families'. However, there are probably some people who still hold traditional values or who are from an older generation that might disagree with children born to an unmarried mother. Whatever is right for you and your family should be done, don't worry about others' opinions

Answer 8

It's not a matter of being taboo. It has more to do with Christianity and the will to live by God's rules. Apparently, living "right" was the common thing to do way back when. Now we have evolved to a "Free Will" type of society where everyone can do what they please and not have any regard for God or Jesus and the rules of Bible. People make up their own rules now and will still expect to get into Heaven. Then ofcourse there are the atheist that don't believe in that kind of thing. This is just my opinion, so please don't be offended by it.

Answer 9

Im not sure it is taboo these days, was not married when i fell pregnant i did go on to marry the father but was not worried what people thought, i really wanted my child and it was not baby fault it happenned a bit before time. but each to their own!

Answer 10

Can it mean the father is not fully committed to the family? that the mother and the state bear the financial responsibility for bringing up the family, the father can make contributions but is not fully committed.Still it is not taboo in western societies and acceptable but not preferable.