My mother , A beautiful woman, died when my youngest daughter was 10mths old, she is now 3. My older children have wonderfull memories of her being the best Grandma on earth, which she was in our eyes, and they have clear ideas of where she is now ect. But little ellie has no memories, and is wondering why she has no grandma. We go to see Poppy and she knows thats where Grand ma used to live so where is she now? My son said that we were taking flowers to the cemetry for Grandmas birthday.....Ellie burst out with "At last i can see her!" she watches shows on tv where there is a grandma and you can see the longing in her eyes! Can anyone help? I feel so cheated on her behalf that mabey the answer is right under my nose and i just cant see it?
2007-01-18 23:02:13 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
i grew up never having a grandma. both of mine died before i was born and i was named after both. it was hard not having them there. i used to watch movies of grandmas baking cookies and tucking in there grand daughters and long for that. i guess what my mother did to make this better was to take me out one on one time and tell me all about her mother. i felt better like even though i did not have her in my life i still knew who she was. im now a mother of two with one on the way. luckly my children still have a grandma and my husband is sharing his with me. best of luck to you.
2007-01-18 23:57:39 · answer #1 · answered by littleluvkitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about that, so sad. I know it's not the same, but we recently had to put our sick dog to sleep...and we told our then 3 year old daughter that he is in heaven with God....and that he isn't hurting anymore and he is happy and playing with Great Grandpa in heaven. She used to ask repeatedly that she wants him back and would cry and cry...but we kept telling her that he loved her a lot and had fun with her and that he hurt really bad and now he is happy up with God and is playing with Great Grandpa. I know it's not exactly the same, but I wouldn't feel like she was cheated at all...she still has her Grandpa.
Atleast she doesn't have a Grandma, that doesn't even see her but maybe 1 every 2 months and she lives 5 miles away....but only sees the other Grandkids.....she's here and living and my daughter wonders why she doesn't see her. Atleast your daughter was well loved by her Grandmother, I think that is far more important. I wouldn't feel bad about what can't be controlled, things work out the way they do and we all try to go on and try to be strong for our kids!
Sorry for babbling!
2007-01-18 23:20:44 · answer #2 · answered by Kristy S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a really nice book written by Maria Shriver, I know it's on Amazon, but I can't remember the name of it. Okay, here's the link to it : http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Heaven-Maria-Shriver/dp/0307440435/sr=1-1/qid=1169209539/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/104-8327288-1730304?ie=UTF8&s=books
Hopefully it will help her understand, it's a lovely little book with nice illustrations. Also, on your Mom's birthday, make a little cupcake, light a candle, and have Ellie blow it out and say, "Happy Birthday Grandma." Tell her your Mom can see it and is enjoying a slice of cake in Heaven. Let Ellie eat the cupcake, tell her that even though she can't see Grandma, Grandma can see her and she knows they are having a slice of cake together. I'm very sorry for the loss of your Mom and your children's Grandmother, I know I miss my Grandparents and wish they were here to see my daughter.
2007-01-18 23:25:18 · answer #3 · answered by nimo22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps there is an older woman in your lives that she can call grandma or maybe your husbands mother?
The cycle of life is too depressing to lay on a child that young. I'd find an alternative Grandma.
2007-01-18 23:08:21 · answer #4 · answered by sshazzam 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make her her own little photo album of grandma. on a couple of the pages put a picture of her and another one of grandma. this will help her associate her as being her grandma too since the other kids can remember her and she can't. do it like a colorfull scrape book and make it fun and lively. want her to associate the photo album with what she was like when she was alive and not just that she is now passed on. let her help you pick out her fav pictures and help decorate. also make it a smaller album so her little hands can hold it. hope this helps....
2007-01-18 23:13:55 · answer #5 · answered by dumbdumb 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here are the first half dozen sites I found in a search on the topic. I hope you can find something to help her or as a resource for you that helps you find the approach that works for her. In addition to the links below try the local library..talk to someone there and ask what they have on the subject.
http://www.just-for-kids.com/ADLTISDE.HTM has books for kids on all topics.
http://www.amazon.com and enter keywords children and grief and there are over 1100 titles.
TicTap: Special Interest List: Gentle Books For Children Dealing With Grief And Death...
www.tictap.com/listmania/KC8JRF33CG21
Sylables' children's picture books entertain, educate, and help children cope with loss or disabilities. Educational aids teach basic skills ...
www.sylables.com
Books On Death, Grief, Understanding Death, Coping, Grieving and ... Below you will find many more books on dealing with death and helping others to deal with their sorrow. ... more books dealing with Grief by ...
www.inlovingmemoryonline.com/books2.html
Children Today - Dealing With Death ... Death is always unnerving, but while an adult can understand and even rationalize ...
childrentoday.com/resources/articles/death.htm
2007-01-18 23:51:44 · answer #6 · answered by The Mama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just anwer :"Siiiiiiiiiiigh !!! U can't see ur grandma cuz there 're too many clouds !!!"
2007-01-18 23:06:50 · answer #7 · answered by crystal_heart100 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋