Navy Retirement
The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for early retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officers got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a grizzly old Captain who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my penis to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he may want to reconsider, explaining about the nice checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Captain insisted and they decided to go along with him, providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.
The medical officer arrived and instructed the Captain to "drop em", which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Captain's penis and began to work back. "My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?" The Captain calmly replied..."In Vietnam."
2007-01-18 21:11:08 · 10 answers · asked by Eye of the Beholder 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Hysterical!!
2007-01-19 13:36:59 · answer #1 · answered by NavyMomSS 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My daughter said HAHAHAHA that was funny, now she's going back to work.Thanks for the laugh and the 2.....
2007-01-19 07:47:37 · answer #2 · answered by Maw-Maw 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is funniest, I don't have words to explain the way I'm loving your jokes. Great-great-great jokes.
2007-01-18 21:16:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What about the astronaut who lost his in an accident on the moon, they are lost in space now.......
2007-01-18 21:27:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not funny AND making 'fun' of people, who suffer from serious injuries is not nice either.
2007-01-18 21:19:32 · answer #5 · answered by whathappentothisnation 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Love it! LOL!
2007-01-19 05:05:06 · answer #6 · answered by Erin go Bragh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! hahahahha lame but great :), and i'm Vietnamese so put it somehwhere else if you don't mind :)
2007-01-18 21:16:19 · answer #7 · answered by Tank D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lol, hes rich!!!!
2007-01-18 21:17:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yaaaaaaaaaaaaahooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
2007-01-18 22:32:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
REPORTED!
2007-01-18 21:13:34 · answer #10 · answered by surfinthedesert 5 · 1⤊ 4⤋