after a long distance relationship that lasted for 3 years, me and boyfriend, we are both 32, decided to live together and give our love a real try. well, i left my job, my country in south america and moved to germany to invest in the relationship. he said i was the woman of his life and that he wanted us to be together.
well, i came. i have here for 6 months now and those were the hardest times of my life. i already knew he had been taking anti depressants for 8 years, but i had never lived with him. when i arrived, he decided to start therapy 4 times a week. he says he needs to fight his monsters now.
the problem is that i feel totally alienated in this relationship. everything that i say is seen by him as an insult, or an attack. he tells me i think he is a monster, which i have never thought to be true. hes sex drive is pretty low, he doesnt touch, hug or kiss me as much as i need. i feel there is no space for me in his life. i am very lost and hurt. i dont know what to do.
2007-01-18 20:46:18 · 8 answers · asked by dear 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
learn the lesson and find someone who will appreciate you...
It's not your destiny to provide but to be cherished.
2007-01-18 20:52:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if this is not working out then i would have to sugguest that you either go and talk with his therapist if he will let you, or get your own therapist. Or just get some money and go back home to the USA. Casue if it is going to be this hard for you all the time then you are going to be stressed and end up feeling bad about him and him you, and then it might turn to a love hate relationship, and they really do not work well, or are a happy relationship. You should of just went for a visit before quiting your job. but i am sure that you can find another one once you have left there. so do not stay in a relationship that you really do not see any future in right now, cause you are proably right. It is better to brake it off now then let it go on longer and make it even more harder. it is still up to you though what you are going to do, so the chose is up to you.
2007-01-18 20:56:32 · answer #2 · answered by Ladyofathousandfaces 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl you need to move out quick! Someone says he's going to fight his "monsters" is a little too scary for my taste. I know you guys have been together for a long time...or let's say known each other for a long time, but if he knew you loved him, and knew you were going to live with him he should have solved these problems along time ago! 8 years on anti depressants , that's a bit scary in my opinion. Also you are alienated in this relationship, you left your job, left your home, family, and friends to be with this man...but what does he show in return, nothing. I think it's time to move on babe, there are plenty of people out there just waiting to find you!
2007-01-18 21:06:40 · answer #3 · answered by Maiku 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you have to realize is that the way he is acting towards you is not your fault, nor is it his. A person suffering from depression has trouble finding joy in anything in life, so (although i know it's hard) try to remember that it's not at all personal when he shows little interest in you. Whether or not you want to stay in a relationship with him is up to you, but it's clear that you care about him. You should have a serious talk with him and let him know that his behavior/attitude is unhealthy both for him and for your relationship, and that you really want to see him turning things around for himself. You should also tell him how painful it is for you to be in this situation, and, if it is the case, that you feel like you can't stay in the relationship if it continues the way it does. I wish you all the best.
2007-01-19 10:03:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart if you knew all of this was going on in his life. Why would you try to keep this no win relationship a live? Is doing the right thing by getting help, But their isn't much you can do for him but move on with your life.
2007-01-18 20:59:24 · answer #5 · answered by omegarussell42 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope you have a few friends where you are in Germany. Get out of the relationship with this depressed man, and get them to help you return to your normal happy life, where ever it takes you.
I hope you can do this, as soon as possible.
Good luck !
2007-01-18 20:55:13 · answer #6 · answered by Mr Smart 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I would have a good cry and go home- he has had these issues for years- and it will not be solved over night- if at all-phone home for a plane ticket if you need to- take care-know one well before and do what is best for you-D
2007-01-18 20:51:42 · answer #7 · answered by Debby B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move out quick
2007-01-18 20:50:42 · answer #8 · answered by John B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋