how old is too old?

Question

to sleep with daddy? 2 of my daughters (18mo and 7 yrs) sleep with their dad nearly every night. i think the older one should be in her own bed but he says that since i am not home at night (i work 3rd shift) it is ok for both of them to sleep with him


what do you think?

Answer 1

Cosleeping is a great way for your children to bond with their father. There is nothing wrong with it. In fact, I think it's wonderful that their father is willing to cosleep. A lot of husbands and fathers aren't so easy to convince.

There is plenty of medical evidence to support cosleeping as a healthy, normal way for children to feel safe, supported, and close to their parents.

Answer 2

I don't see a problem. It shouldn't happen every night. Children need to sleep in their own rooms most days of the week. However one or two nights a week sleeping with dad is OK. I'd say their is not really a age where you say "no more" as long as they sleep in their rooms most every night. If it's happening every night, I'd start off making them sleep in their rooms 1 or 2 nights, then get to a point where it's 5 or 6 nights (or more) in their rooms.

Note- I am making the assumption your husband is not a pedophile, I am sure that's a safe assumption since he is you husband, lol. Others may try and make this into something it's not.

Answer 3

Well I can answer from a legal point that neither of them should sleep with him. According to DFS, it is neither safe or ethical. And can only lead to someone being suspicious and blowing thier horn.
From a mothers point of view I would say the same thing, but for a different reason. The older one needs to be a little more independent. The younger one should be learning those skills now.
My question would be, do they sleep with both of you when you are off work? If not I would wonder why they need to when you aren't home. If he is worried about them by a couple baby monitors, and tell him to get a teddy bear!!!

Answer 4

That's a tough one, everyone has their own opinions on it, some easy going others very harsh. I think that children should have their independence and privacy, so should mom and dad. I agree with you that the 7yr old should be in her own room, how will she learn to rely on herself or to be OK with being alone if she doesn't. Its a parents job to guide their children and teach them how to function in the world, to much coddling will not do that. What difference does it make if you are home or not? They are sleeping. I think having a child share a room with mom and dad is fine until they are no longer infants but sleeping alone as toddlers and beyond is important for development of self confidence and self reliance.

Answer 5

Perhaps it would be much better if both girls had their own sleeping quarters and dad could just snuggle them long enough to help them fall asleep. It seems to me that practically speaking, this is not the healthiest of habits to be getting the girls into. We all know it doesn't take much to arouse a man and children can be very coquetish without even realizing what they're doing. I think you're asking for future problems if you let this continue.
The fact that you've even asked this question tells me that you're also wondering about how "safe" it really is and how easy it'd be to become "UNSAFE."
Put your mind at ease; make the transition and the girls will grow up just as fond of their dad.

Answer 6

Are you worried about Paedophilia? Because other than this there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. If they are all happy leave it be. It won't be much longer before the 7 year old doesn't want to. You most likely will have happy well adjusted kids. Many countries have the family bed. If it ain't broke then don't fix it

Answer 7

I think it is a little too old because you don't want her to get too dependant, or be scared the rest of her life. Maybe her dad could tuck her in early and then stay beside her until she falls asleep until she gets used to her own bed.

Answer 8

we coslept regularly with my oldest two until they were 5 and 7. the younger one of those two still sleeps with me occasionaly at 11. there is nothing wrong with it. its not a bad habit, its doesnt make your kids insecure olr weird, it doesn't mean they are being molested (most kinds that are molested are done by a known friend or family member, but not usually their own father)

Answer 9

I think They are still small enough to sleep with him.I think 10 is to old.

Answer 10

You need to break it as soon as possible, Its hard for kids, to start sleeping on there own, I know of many children who have NEVER slep with there parents, and they have no problems sleeping by their self.