My sister has been off and on with a guy for about 5 years. When she's off with him she is with all kinds of other men. But the problem is, when she is off with him, he comes to me. I am a married woman and he has on more then one occasion tried to sleep with me and tells me he's in love with me. MY SISTER KNOWS ALL THIS! Well, they have now been ON for about 6 months and for the second time they are engaged. They are getting married!!! I feel hurt by this. Why should she marry him knowing that he doesn't respect me or truly love her. It hurts me. I am not one to judge other people or not support my family but this is really bothering me. How should I feel??
2007-01-18 19:41:27 · 14 answers · asked by LuVmYfAmiLY 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I can't stand him! How should I feel towards her though? She's going to MARRY him!! I feel like she's picking him over me, to a point.
2007-01-18 19:47:43 · update #1
My husband knows about everything! Why would she want to be with him knowing how he is??
2007-01-18 20:05:20 · update #2
you know this a hard situation ...the first thing to do is don't let him come to you no more if they break up or not because you will be caught in the middle of this.Because you have spoken to your sister about him already the only thing you can do is don't get involved with there issues anymore basically cut them off for a while because all your going to do is let this eat you up and mess up your relationship with your husband because all you can think and talk about is this.You can say to your sister he hit on me or leave him alone for the rest of your life but it won't work....she is obviously in denial and has a lot of issues i think she doesn't mind because when they break up she sleeps with other men i bet that is why she is back with him even though you told her what he said to you. This happens a lot with family and friends who are with guys that want someone else . this happened to me with my friend she told me her man wanted me (i know it sounds sick) but she stayed with him and he ended up using her, sleeping with other girls, and slept with one of her best friends sisters. what I'm trying to say is she is going to have to learn the hard way like they all do and believe me if it's not you it will be someone else.. so just step back and watch this train wreck of a relationship come to an end and when it does don't say i told you so just look up at god and to yourself and say thank you and try to help her get through it. I myself is going through some of the same issues with one of my family members not that their boyfriend tried to hit on me but by the guy being no good and using her and drugs she is still in the relationship but i know that i was right and I'm just waiting for that day when she wakes up and yes she choose him over me and tried to fight me because i told her he is no good but she looks really stupid now and the person I'm talking about is my mom so i definitely understand the betrayal you feel but just don't let it stress you out anymore ...women do this to often but until they wake up guys will continue to use them
2007-01-18 20:38:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your sister is aware of him coming on to you and she still wants to marry the guy, you don't really have anything to say. You could tell your sister he is not allowed in your home but that may keep your sister away.
Maybe the one thing you should do is sit down with your sister and explain exactly what you feel and why you feel it. Start off by saying "I think you already know this, but since you're planning to get married I want to be sure".
2007-01-19 03:47:44 · answer #2 · answered by Justin H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're feelings are quite normal in this situation, he's definitely not a nice person. It is not your place to lead your life so don't actually do anything more than hope your sister will come to her senses (again), but if/when that happens and they've broken up, you can be more plain to him. If he ever comes at you again, tell him off in any words you like and don't hold back, that'll solve at least part of the problem, he'll know to leave you alone.
I'm pretty nice in general but if I knew someone like this they'd not 'on more than one occasion' try to sleep with me; they'd ask me once and they'd KNOW they'd never have to ask or try again!
2007-01-19 03:52:33 · answer #3 · answered by Sheriam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chances are he's brainwashing her, you might tell her everything, but in the other ear he's telling her the exact opposite. Your sister probably thinks you're just making up lies, and just jealous, you don't want to see her happy and chances are you're madly in love with him in her eyes. Well, you can't take off the blindfold if they still close their eyes. Maybe you just need to put it blankly in her face. I'm sure this guy has other flings on the side, beside his obvious flirtation with you. Proof it's all you need, what is he doing when he thinks no one is watching, just in case have a camera ready or a voice recorder in hand, he's bound to mess up. When you show this to your sister yeah she might say she hates you, and what not but, in the long run she'll thank you. Trust me, I hope this helps you out.
2007-01-19 04:09:41 · answer #4 · answered by Yesi20 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but that is your mistake, if you knew that he is with you sister how could you allowed him to come near to you. You said you are married that means you are deceiving you husband also.
You need to talk to you sister about it, this person is not trust worthy. But on the other had what is your sister doing, if this guy is not around she is with other guys.
You can't do much but try to be strong and promise your self not to let him peep into your life again.
2007-01-19 03:51:26 · answer #5 · answered by Nick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
grow up. SHe will make her own mistakes. SHe knows how he is so maybe he will cheat on her. I really hope you tell your hubby about him trying to get with you, otherwise you have some marriage probs on your own. You sound jealous though so I would leave it. If you keep talking to her about it she will think you ARE jealous even if you are not and marry him just to get back at you *for the times he tried to get with u after her*
2007-01-19 04:06:05 · answer #6 · answered by I hate stupid ppl like you 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Noone can tell you how you should feel, This is not a good situationMaybe its time for open and honest talk between youall even though it will raise some hurts.
2007-01-19 05:57:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is the one marring a jerk, and knows he is. Don't worry about it. Just be sure to tell her that if she does marry him that he is not welcome at you house for what he has tried to do (sleep with you) in the past. Also, tell you husband what he has done so he won't have anyhting to do with him either.
2007-01-19 03:47:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happy for your sister...it is after all her choice.
The next time they are off...don't answer the phone or the door when he contacts you. That simple action will spare you knowing what is THEIR private business and won't make you feel all so specially important.
2007-01-19 03:47:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no one can tell you how to feel. but it seems to me that you dont approve of your sister being with him. you cant stop her, but at least you can try. talk to her, tell her how you feel. make sure to let her know you care about her and just trying to look out for her. if she still wants to be with him, then there isnt much else you can do.
2007-01-19 03:47:07 · answer #10 · answered by a 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋