not bad things but a lot has happened to me. i want to be totally honest but don't want to put them off.
2007-01-18 19:35:37 · 30 answers · asked by belle 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
wait until u know them better and u totally trust them..then shock them with ur dirty secrets. lol
2007-01-18 22:28:45 · answer #1 · answered by fajita 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you're talking about your love life, You can be honest without all the details - which would be boring and are irrelevant. Just say that you've had some previous relationships. I don't think anyone really wants to know the details of their partner's former love-life, do they? If it's something else (like you were adopted or had a bad accident once !) then maybe you should mention it, but not until you know them better and are comfortable with each other talking over the past. Anything which might come out later and be considered important to the NOW relationship (because it still affects you in some way ) should be aired, but not your love life.
2007-01-19 03:44:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If the skeletons do not effect your new bf or gf then perhaps wait a while til you establish a bond and whether you are going to make a go out of it. You will know when the time is to have a good heart to heart with them. Some ppl get a little freaked out when you throw it out there in the open at the start so just give your realationship a little space to grow first
2007-01-19 03:40:43 · answer #3 · answered by Ehlana 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Totally honest and totally revealing are not at all the same thing. There may be some things that you might choose to share with someone you know really well and trust; there are probably other things that you will want to keep a deep dark secret. This is not dishonest.
2007-01-19 03:42:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honesty is always best in a releationship, especially early days when you are laying the fundations. If you do not start out strong, with good footing, how do you expect to grow the releationship? Problem is the past and lies tend to have a nasty way of creeping up on you when you least expect it! I dont mean blurt everything out and scare the guy off, but be honest and when things come up, dont lie. Also remember your past is your past we all have things we are not proud of we all make mistakes, I know I have but that is what makes us who we are today, he is with who you are now not who you where then thus has no right to judge.
Hope this helps
2007-01-19 04:58:35 · answer #5 · answered by djp6314 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its all about GRADUALLY revealing stuff.
In a relationship I think its a huge error to reveal too much too soon. Its the same in any relationship - friendship or romantic.
Gradually reveal stuff about yourself.
Everybody has skeletons! Your partner has them too. BUT there is NOTHING WORSE than someone who dumps all their emotional baggage on you immediately.
Plus you need to be able to trust someone before you share intimate stuff with them. Are they trustworthy? You need to be certain that they wont use it against you in the future.
That said, it cant be left too long either. Then it will be monumental "why didnt you tell me???"etc
I would wait a few months. Drop 'hints'. Dont lie about skeletons, but dont lay them bare either.
Also, there is nothing more sexy than an air of mystery.
Use it to your advantage, and NEVER apologise for your past. Its because of your past that you are who you are today.
All the best to you.
2007-01-19 03:44:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's always best to be totally honest. Things that have happened in your past....are just that....past. If you are in a good relationship whatever has happened before should have no real relevence to now. Remember everyone has a past!
2007-01-19 04:02:59 · answer #7 · answered by crazeeladee no more 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should apply wisdom depending on the type of skeleton you've had, you may not let it out immediately but watch the person in the relationship and how the relationship fares if you're convince in your heart then you can be totally honest otherwise you may be at your wits end again.
2007-01-19 04:44:58 · answer #8 · answered by glory o 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have a lot of skeletons, too. I don't necessarily "confess" to every thing. If your new partner brings something up in a conversation that is comparable to what you have done in your life, then, yeah, I'd bring it up. It'd probably make them feel more comfortable, loosen them up a bit, and you'd have some things in common. Just play it by ear.
2007-01-19 03:41:26 · answer #9 · answered by gone 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As Jackie said, you don't want to go into a new relationship and spill your guts about everything. If your new 'interest' hears it all in one go, they may get a bit freaked out!
As the relationship progresses, talk about things that are relevant to the conversation, if and when you feel comfortable. If it is stuff you are worried may freak them out, try saying exactly that!
Don't go into too much detail about ex partners as that can cause problems and don't worry too much. Unless you are dating a newborn he will have some baggage too!
2007-01-19 03:47:38 · answer #10 · answered by Rats 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would like the person to tell me in at least 2 weeks if we thought it was serious because if it really was gonna be serious they would still be together after the secrets come out. I would be totally honest.
2007-01-19 04:13:12 · answer #11 · answered by owenmad 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋