IF I have a child with someone and we don't make it...?

Question

Can he use things that happened when I was a minor (between 12 and 16) against me in a custody battle?

P.S. By "make it" I mean we end up getting divorced. Sorry, lol.

Basically I was neglected by my father when he got remarried and one time overdosed on pills and had to get my stomach pumped (when I was 12)... and then was on anti depressants until 16. But since then I have been fine and happy.

He said he would find the hospital where I had my stomach pumped and use the records against me if we ever got divorced. Even though it happened when I was 12 after my dad was hitting me while my stepmother watched.

Answer 1

This so-called "man" is actually a very sick person & you should distance yourself from him as soon as you can because with those type of threats, it is a warning to you that he will be cruel and manipulating to you & to your child. If he says he will, then he probably will & even if he fails, he will make your life a living he//. He is worse than your Father because he will use words as power, where your own Father used his fists. Don't make this mistake if you care about your future happiness. Having no man is better than being with a controlling man. I speak from personal experience. Have you thought about attending some meetings & learning how to make better choices in regards to the people that you let into your life? ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) is a great place to learn about ending the cycle of abuse that has been handed down to you by your parents. It doesn't matter if they abused alcohol...they abused their children & you will find many other people at these meetings who can share their success stories & you can start to rebuild your inner child that has been so badly treated & relearn how to think like an adult who is looking out for her own safety & making healthy relationship choices that don't include abusive people who make threats against you. I hope you will explore your options. I wish you the best as your grow into a good life. Your parents may have failed, but you can re-do what they could never do by loving yourself & ending the cycle of violence & abuse on you & your future child (when it comes along).

Answer 2

He cannot get your medical records without you signing a "release of information". What happens in the past, stays in the past. Your particular situation does not interfere with your abilities to raise your children.

Get a lawyer and be prepared to fight. Most likely the judge will say that your issue as a minor has no relevance in this current situation.

My mother in law went through the same thing with her ex-husband. He didn't get anywhere and she still won custody of her children. He was merely doing this out of spite and did not really want custody of his children. He was just trying to be a horrible person. (which he still is and the courts saw through his act)

Answer 3

Well he can threaten all he likes, and his attorney can sure attempt to make an issue, but you were a minor and these records are supposed to be considered sealed.

By the way, if he threatens you w/these threats, have you thought maybe you should file for divorce. This is a form of mental abuse. What's to stop at that? You have a child to think about.

Good luck!!

Answer 4

Your juvenile criminal record was likely purged when you became an adult, so you're clear there. But medical, mental or abuse histories could be introduced in court to determine your suitability to care for a child. So that sort of stuff, if you have any, could be a factor. If you start going through the divorce process, ask your lawyer about this.

Answer 5

Possible, but how long ago was that? What I would be more concerned about at that "now' would be who would make the better parent, "now" as opposed to what ever happened "then". Please remember that what ever you did "then" what was he doing "then" that would make him any better of a choice than you? Better to be concerned with now, than what happened those years ago because it will probably sound like hear say, which is not admissible in court, or just sour grapes that can't be substantiated due to a lack of evidence. The courts look to provable evidence, not hear say. Convince the judge that you are the better parent, and you should have custody.

Answer 6

First of all this guy sounds like a winner. Why is he already threatening you with what he will do BEFORE you are even divorced? You should probably do yourself a favor and leave this guy. Also you should probably be more careful about whom you have children with, or maybe just not even have kids.

Answer 7

this guy is a bully and a coward and full of lies.

take this priiick for all he has and run .

Custody and property settlement is based on the now and not the past . he doesnt have a hope in hell in getting your records ( doctor patient priveledge) and he has no case.

And you have children with this fool?

get yourself free girl ....TODAY!!

Answer 8

Things that happened in the past are privileged communication between the couple. These are supposed to be confidential and when used in the trial should not be accepted by the court since the statement of a spouse is self-serving..

Answer 9

he can say what he wants to say but as long as you have proof that you are no longer on anti depressants and your child is being taken care of properly there really is nothing that can be done. He is just trying to hurt you character.

Answer 10

It honestly depends on the relevancy such as a continuing problem ( schizophrenia that goes untreated ) that could harm the child or a drug addiction or gang affiliation. If it is in reference to your parents such as abuse or neglect it gets iffy as it all depends on whether you plan to leave thechild with them unsupervised so on and so forth its muddy waters and more details are needed to formulate an appropriate answer