Should I or Shouldn't I??...pls help....?

Question

I want another baby. I'm married, will be 25 yrs old in Feb. We have a 7 year old daughter. My husband says he wants another, then changes his mind every 5 minutes. My daughter is excited about the idea of a baby brother or sister, even though her toy room would become a nursery. I stopped taking my birth control Sunday. Should I get back on it? I want another baby so bad, but I feel sort-of guilty, I feel like I will be taking from my daughter. I love her very much, and I don't want her to feel left out if I have another baby. She is in school now, of course, and I am a stay at home mom/wife. So why not have a baby? She knows she is my girl, I tell her everyday and tell her how much mommy loves her. I don't know what to do. I told my husband that if we were going to expand our family, it has to be this year. I don't want my babies to be too far apart. As of now, they will be 8 years apart. And I don't want to be too old trying to raise a baby. Please help. No rude answers please.

My husband will be 27 in July. We have been married almost 8 years (in April) and been together over 8 (since Sept. 1998).

If we have another, I will get my tubes tied after the baby is born. Birth control makes me gain toooo much weight. I have been talking about having one more baby for over a year now. He is never going to say yeah let's go for it. He just says I will think about it. So if it happens, it happens, but he knows I stopped taking my pills.

Answer 1

if you really want to have a baby, then go for it.after all, your eldest is already 8 years old, it's time to give her a playmate and a little sister or brother to take care of. perhaps, in the beginning, it may hard for your girl to accept the new baby because she is used to be the "one and only" baby in the family. That's why, it is important to talk it out among the 3 of you (you,your hubby and your girl). let your 8 year old understand the situation, explain to her gently that the new baby will not take away your love and attention from her but.. the new baby will be a blessing, somebody to take care of and eventually, when the baby gets older, somebody to play with and share things with. i'm sure your kid will understand this after all, she's excited about the prospect as you have mentioned. so don't worry, when your new baby comes, make sure to include the older child in attending to his needs, let her develop a maternal or sisterly instinct early. always remember, children are blessings, so we need to take good care of them, nurture them and give their needs so they will grow strong, healthy and be productive citizens of our community.

Answer 2

I would not have another baby unless you AND your husband decide to. I understand your time line (not that your old, just the age difference between your oldest daughter and a baby). You need to tell your husband that you need him to make a decision. Tell him exactly how you feel and why you want to do it now. If he can't commit, then I would get back on the pill. I have a 10, 8 and 2 year old and I went through the same thing. At first my husband was hesitant, we had never discussed having three kids. Then after discussing it, he also realized that he wanted another child as well.

I wouldn't worry about your oldest daughter. Having another baby isn't taking from her. It's okay to want and have another child and I'm sure there's plenty of love and attention to spread between two children. I bet she will actually like having a younger sibling. My ten year old daughter is so good with her little 2 year old sister. It's amazing to watch them together. Sure once in awhile my oldest would like more mommy time, but she loves her little sis and wouldn't trade her for the world. Good luck!

Answer 3

If that's what you and your husband want, I say go for it. As for your daughter, I wouldn't worry about it. She is at the age now where she understands more than if she was younger. Another plus is she will be old enough to help you more than you would think. And surprise, she will probably be happy to help you. My daughter is 6 and I have a 4 month old. It seemed to me like it would be a large gap, and I worried that my daughter would be super jealous because she was the only child for 6 years. But she does great. She loves her little sissy to death, and is VERY protective of her. She is always wanted to hold her or help feed her. I know it's a large gap, but I don't think I could have timed it better. She enjoys her little sister so much. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that there is never any jealously, but what sibling has never had any jealousy? I hope whatever decision y'all make, it works out for y'all. Good luck.

Answer 4

My son was 5 when I had my next one. He was the only child for so long that when I got pregnant I was worried that I wouldn't know how to share my love for two children. He was totally excited, and even after the baby was born. He had a few jealousy moments towards his new brother but that is normal for kids no matter what the age. I think you'll been fine. Your not hurting her and I think it'll be good for her to expand your family. I hope all goes well for you. :-)

Answer 5

I was young too when I had my little one. I want another before I get too old or my daughter gets too old. My boyfriend doesn't want another. He wants to give our daughter everything in the world, sort of. Well everything that she wants. Don't get me wrong I want to give her the world too but I think that she should have someone else to play with. If you hold back from having another kid it is sort of depriving your daughter of the joys of a little brother or sister. I would say go for it but make sure your husband is sure he is on board with you. Good luck.

Answer 6

I would definitely go for it. Once you are pregnant he'll be so happy and your daughter sounds excited. Too much longer and the kids will be too far apart. You sound like a great mom that loves her child and since you have the privilege of staying home and raising the children yourself I would say go for it!

Answer 7

Go for it!!! Before the age gap is to big.
Your daughter will love having a brother or sister and because she is old enough to understand and help out with the baby, that will make her more accepting and proud that she will be a big sister.

Answer 8

Have another baby. I always wanted 3 and my husband wanted to stop after 2. Later he changed his mind but it was too late by then, I didn't want to start again. Now I still sometimes feel sad that I didn't have another baby. So go for it, you won't regret it if you do but you might well regret it for the rest of your life if you don't.

Answer 9

actually u should have tried two yrs ago when ur daughter was 5 yrs old,but anyhow it's still not too late to get another baby,hopefully it's a boy baby to make it a pair.u shouldn't be worried too much on ur daughter,i think she'll love this new member very much,she won't be longer lonely at home.u've to try it very hard to get pregnant by all means now.good luck.

best wishes.

Answer 10

my daughters first came when she was 32, i was almost 25 when i had my first, you started too soon, but dont ever trick your husband or he will bring it up every time you are a dollar short for the bills or something, your daughter will adjust but he might not.