Why do my parents favor my LAZY older brother?

Question

My parent have always like my older brother better than me. they would always buy him what ever he wanted but if I wanted some thing that cost LESS than what he got we could "not aford it". my brother is 19 and is legaly old enough to get almost any job he wants, and he talks about getting a job all the time but ALL he does is talk. I am 17 and have been trying to get a job for a long time, doing job searches going to places and aplying... but every place I go says "you are to young" and I WILL NOT work for fast food. but I am trying to get a job and my brother is not. my brother got a car for christmas and gets gas any time he wants it from my parents, but when I want some money to go skiing with the church group they "cannot aford to give me the $30 I need" don't try to say that "he is in college" junk, because I am in college too. I started 2 years early. (note: there is more but I am running out of room) he does not "need" the money any more than I do. my parents will not let

me drive untill I am 18. so I cannot go to the next town to look for work. and 4 diffrent job link places have told me that unless it is fastfood I cannot work in this town because of my age.

my parents complain about giving me any money at all, but will not let me work. my older brother can work and wont, but gets all the money he wants. why do my parents do this to me?
I have tryed over and over agin to "talk to them" they never listen. and I have 2 younger siblings who get whatever they want when ever they want just like my older brother. but the age diffrence is much greater between them and me than for my older brother and I.

just to let you know, I live in a small town with 2 fast food palces. I worked in one for 9 months and will NEVER go back. the managers could not finsh a sentance with out cussing, the employe's got paid very little, and the whole place was nasty. the other place was even durtyer and have worse people working for them. I know some of those people from school. that is why I will not work in fast food. not in this town.

Answer 1

This is eating you up. Take a look at the positives: you are learning to look after yourself; you are learning to make responsible choices; you will likely be independent (a man) at an early age. You might want to do some volunteering to bulk out your resume until you can find a job that meets your criteria. You need to see what your choices are and how you can optimize them.

All the best!
~Peace in 2007~

Answer 2

i dont have siblings so i cant relate but my best friend has 4 siblings and she goes through the same thing. so im gonna tell u the same thing i told her. SHOW them that u dont need their help. fast food isnt that bad really. i did it for 3 yrs and would go back in a heart beat. i didnt like it at first but its a job and it pays money. ur brother is just lazy. dont be mad at him, just show him that u can do better than him. ur parents are wrong for what they are doing to u. i wouldnt try to talk to them either . it wont work. ive been working since i was 13. started at the local grocery store sacking groceries. hated every minute of it but it was MY MONEY and i was proud of it. u dont have to be 18 to work alot of places. they may not be the job u want but it will give u the freedom u want. think about it. good luck!!

Answer 3

You might need to work fast food if you want the money badly enough. That would be one way to not have to ask them for money. You really sound ambitious, just do not let pride get in the way of getting a job. Any hard work is honorable. Work, save the money, move out on your own if you can when you turn 18. You are going to be more self sufficent than he ever will be.

Answer 4

Parents are funny people sometimes......I remember both of my sons remarking that they each thought the other one was the favourite at some time! I've never favoured one over the other. I love my kids equally....but sometimes I guess we do things that make one or the other feel like they are less important. My youngest son was always (and still is) the laziest one and I always had to pay more attention to what he was doing and keep an eye on him... that sometimes made my eldest son feel like he was less important. But it was never the case.......now they are older and realise that sometimes one needs a little more attention than the other at different times when growing up. I bet your mum and dad love you just as much....we just sometimes get a bit too busy and caught up with everyday hassles to realise how we make each other feel from time to time. Good luck with your job hunting. Things will get better.

Answer 5

I don't really know how you looks like whether your handsome or not that makes you UN-like-able unlike your other siblings or your real blood relation with your so-called parents. But seriously though, most of the parents only want the best for their children. I can say maybe your parents know that your brother is lazy and he cannot make it on his own unlike you, you are the tougher one and the one who have the initiative to make your life better. I know one day someday somehow you'll gonna thank your parents the way how they raised you up as early as 17 you really know how to make improve yourself and perhaps you know how to handle money better than anyone else. Keep that to your mind that what your parents are doing or not doing for you will help to build your character and who knows because of this you will become the next business tycoon like Donald Trump because right now you know how to work hard to earn and you know you deserve it.

Answer 6

My husband has this theory (he has a lazy older brother, too - his older brother is 30 and still living at home. With his GIRLFRIEND, no less. He does work, however...he's a road-kill picker-upper). He thinks that parents automatically favor their weakest child because they don't want to feel like failures as parents. Since you're apparently capable of taking care of yourself, at least to some degree, your parents instinctively push you out on your own. Since your brother IS NOT capable of caring for himself, your parents nurture him in an attempt to get him to the point where he is able. I'm not sure whether I believe it or not, but I have seen it in too many families (including my own) not to at least consider the possibility.

Answer 7

I have the same situation. So do many, many other people. The problem is, your parents tell you "no" and you still get things done. You take care of yourself, life goes on, etc. They feel with brothers that if they just help them this time, it'll make the drama go away and things will get better.

I know it doesn't make sense. It isn't fair.

Answer 8

your brother is a lazy bum and your parent will pay for that.
I feel sorry for you because I can tell your trying , things Will work out for you.

for a job may be you can see if anyone at Church can use your help.
I know lots of times I need ed someone to help me with things like panting my porch, putting up my fence, moving heave things and I didn't mind picking him up and taking him back home.
you never know may be there's a farmer that need help.

ask at Church you never know you may wind up with your own handy man service.

Good luck hope I gave you something to go on.

Answer 9

Don't take this wrong and read all before you get upset.
Life is not fair and it seams your parents are proving that to you. I can tell you most certainly you will grow up to be a very responsible adult while your brother continues to be a bum. trust me your parents will come to regret giving your brother everything. he will grow up move out and expect your parents to give him money all the time.

Good luck

Answer 10

have you ever read othello? parents dont want honest children that tell them how it is -- they want little butt kissers like your lazy older brother. thats the way the world works. don't be ambtious -- just talk a bunch of junk and your parents will give you things too.