So, I had gotten tired of the guy who I have been in love with for the last 7 years - of his possessiveness and always him being in control. He would call me when he'd feel like it and he would see me only to his convenience. Well, I thought I had gotten over him after so much pain and heartache on making up my mind. So, I was wrong. He called me out of the blue and said that he was going to be in town and that he wanted for me to meet him somewhere and take him something to eat for him and his friend. I pondered on it and I finally did. I got there and my heart melted. I pretended to be friendly and I gave him the food and I just talked to him like an old friend, but everything changed when all of a sudden he grabbed my hand and led me inside the house. He started kissing me hard and with passion; I let him and kissed him back. All of a sudden - he told me that he had to go, but that he would call me back later so that we could meet. No call; he played me again.
2007-01-18 18:11:28 · 26 answers · asked by Ladyinred 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes, he had successfully at the time re-established dominance over you by (a) commanding you to travel to him, (b) commanding you to provide him with food, (c) his sudden and successful - and responsive at your end - kissing with the abrupt ending leaving things as he desired rather than yourself.
Unless this is seriously something you want in your life, you must not communicate with him again and establish yourself on your own terms. He will likely continue to repeat this performance to further establish control and dominance, do NOT let him.
If you do, there is no one else to blame ...
2007-01-18 18:20:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't let him do it again. Be strong! Don't answer his calls and keep yourself busy so you won't feel the temptation to call or answer his call if he does call. Cry your eyeballs out. Get it all out of your system and go out with your friends, find something new to do, and make yourself a better person. This book called "Sassy, Single and Satified" by Michelle Hammond really helped me get over a bad break up. It made me realize that I was blocking my blessings by hanging on to an a**hole. After I got to the point when I was happy with being by myself and working on me and not looking for a man. The man of my dreams came and walked into my life without me even realizing it.
Don't waste your time with jerk. You are blocking your blessing. God will not let the right guy step your way if there is a pile of dog pooh in the way. God is waiting for you to clean up the crap off your front door step, before he sends the "real" guy to you.
2007-01-26 18:02:06 · answer #2 · answered by YaYa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay, first of all i think thats just messed up for a guy to call you outta the blue and have you bring him and his friend food. thats so screwed up! for you being the lady, he should be buying you food!! after all, he's the one asking you to meet up with him right?
yeah well if this led to sex... then he's using you. if he really cared he would stick around. i wouldnt meet up with him ever again.
if it didnt lead to sex and something came up then maybe there was something more important on his mind. did you try calling him back to be straight up as if why he didnt call you? at least you would get an answer from him and understand the whole situation better. maybe he didnt mean to play you. maybe hes just dumb haha
but if i were you call him up and get some answers!! if you dont get anything out of it then forget him! go out with the ladies or somewhere public and find someone better! there are so many guys out there!
2007-01-18 18:45:39 · answer #3 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yep, he is manipulating you. and honestly, as hard as it is to hear, he probably does this with many other women.
You would be best to take time to yourself and be completely happy alone for a while even before getting involved with anyone else. It will help to keep this from happening again. Being single doesn't mean you have to be alone, you can have friends to be by your side. I used to let a girl walk on me like that, now, I am completely happy by myself, and it will take someone special and treats me well to make me want my life any different.
I loved her very much, but I mentally tired out after 3 years of being controlled.
You deserve better than that kind of treatment. Completely cutting him off is the best advice any of us can give you.
2007-01-18 18:44:54 · answer #4 · answered by just another guy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change your phone number, change your name if you have to, but don't let this guy have that much control over you. It's havoc on the emotions. It may hurt for a while, but you'll get over it trust me. I know what I"m talking about. You will be amazed at how happy you can be later, and your happiness won't be based on whether the guy was in a good mood or a bad mood, whether he was complimentary or condescending. Take control of your life. You deserve it.
2007-01-18 18:18:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's no good and u can do better and speaking from past experiences if u continue to stay with him it's going to get worst. If he is as controlling as u say that will eventually turn into abuse when u tell him no Get out change ur # and find something better. As that say drop that zero and get urslf a hero before u really get hurt worst than u r already.
2007-01-26 02:23:36 · answer #6 · answered by wet t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you have got to be strong for YOU! Unfortunately, I've been in the same situation (just not the same length of time).
At some point in time, you have got to get to a place whereas you can be strong for YOU! Regardless of how much it may hurt inside, you have to be able to say "No". Once you are able to do that, you will have such a wonderful feeling of accomplishment. Most importantly, you have to get to a place where you are comfortable with being along with yourself. Too often, people think that if you aren't in the presence of others, then you are lonely. Be able to be comfortable in YOUR OWN SKIN!
2007-01-18 18:20:19 · answer #7 · answered by feefee2u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is a player.
Don't let him play with your feelings.
You've been there, done that, and done it again.
If he were a girl, he would be known as a "pr..k tease". He's worse than that. He's a manipulator and gets off on hurting you.
That's twisted. Find someone else, and if he calls again, hang up the phone gurl!
2007-01-26 09:49:48 · answer #8 · answered by Barbi T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been letting him do that for seven years?
Well, I shouldn't say you're "letting" him. He's got a skill, and people are so easy to manipulate.
He doesn't love you. He's a predator. He's manipulating your emotions, to an abusive degree. You have to escape from him. Stop taking his calls. Don't answer the door if he comes over. Cut off all contact.
2007-01-18 18:21:18 · answer #9 · answered by John D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please don't take this as me joking and don't be offended, but GROW A SACK!!! Don't let this guy play around with you like that. Delete the number forget the memory and don't ever talk to him again. If he calls you, you tell him to lose your number. You are being used for a quick fling when in the area. Don't be a puppet to a man who won't be a puppet for you girl.
2007-01-18 18:18:40 · answer #10 · answered by Ill Prophet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋