Well, I built walls around myself because I have been hurt before. Any who, I have also matured a lot-I have decided to join the armed forces-ROTC. So this has definitely molded in see life in a different light than what I did before. I know someone with kind of like the same experience, I am friends of the family and his sister's friend..now, we are not close at all-I have only said 'hi and by'-we are facebook friends-I finally decided to add him-since I don't have feelings for him like that any more. Any who, we have a lot in common that I just didn't realize...and this includes trusting people deeply-he has a facebook and has nothing on it; and I don't either except pics. I want him to open up to me and confide in me-how can he give me a chance to trust in me-even though we have never really chatted with each other? I feel like since we are both in the military-he went military academy route-that I could understand him on a deeper level-he is introvert-how can he open up to me?
2007-01-18 18:10:06 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Learning to trust people takes time. Build your relationship slowly and as long as you are both good people your trust for each other will increase and increase. Don't try to push it.
2007-01-18 18:20:35 · answer #1 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust--in all things--is earned over time. You can't make someone (especially someone who is guarded) instantaneously trust you. But you CAN do some things to help them see you as a potential friend.
1. Talk to him.
2. START SLOW.
3. Gradually discuss things in your life
4. Ask him questions about things you have in common; the military for example.
All relationships are built on common ground, and the good ones are not "made in a microwave", instantly. If you are willing to put in the time and effort, you may become very good friends with this person.
The best thing to do in situations like this is BE what you want of him. You want him to be open? YOU be open. Be the kind of friend you want in other people.
Good luck!
2007-01-18 18:42:03 · answer #2 · answered by Julia A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing is, you can't force someone else to open up to you. What you can do is be there. Perhaps just smalltalk; weather, work, the bad food at the mess that day will start to deepen the friendship. Everything that matters takes time, so do that, take your time with this person and see where the future leads the pair of you.
The first thing, though, is that you may have to put out your hand first. You mention having emotional walls of your own. First you have to be willing to trust (and even possibly be hurt) before anyone else can trust you in return.
Good luck, I hope everything turns out well. For both of you. :)
2007-01-18 18:20:51 · answer #3 · answered by vampkiera 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't necessarily a good idea to let those walls fall. If you choose to let someone else in your life and get emotionally dependent on them expect to get hurt. Even someone that's just a friend can and will hurt you. It's natural. People will hurt others regardless of how good or stable a relationship is. That's a part of living with the human race.
2007-01-18 18:17:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You make it sound like walls are a bad thing. They are not. They are defense mechanisms designed to protect youself. Protecting yourself is not wrong.
2007-01-19 08:11:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say that you should not take the walls down completely, you should lower the walls brick by brick...
2007-01-18 19:22:00 · answer #6 · answered by Colie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋