ive always wanted to save myself for the woman of my dreams but sometimes it seems like i better get in touch with reality and start getting it on. or at least being able to show affection. my most recent girlfriend broke up with my because i wouldnt kiss her. im worried i may have been at fault because most gf/bf relationships involve regular sex and definatly kissing. im a decent looking guy and have had a couple of girlfriends and they have all left for the same reason. am i so wrong for wanting to preserve myself for my wife? im not criticizing what anyone else does, but wondering if maybe i am a bit extreme in my actions (extreme is never good unless its the X games)
2007-01-18 18:02:16 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yeah like 99% of couples have sex before marriage.
But I'm waiting till marriage to have sex and have found a wonderful boyfriend of almost a year who truly respects me for that.
I know a couple who never kissed each other till the day they were married. They were together for a year before they got married. It was AMAZING that they saved each other's first kiss till their wedding day. I think they got married so quick and young because they couldn't stand the wait any longer.
But anyways, maybe kissing is a little extreme. But sex, definitely not.
2007-01-18 18:09:06 · answer #1 · answered by ( Kelly ) 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
WoW! *Pats you in the back*
I wish there were more guys like you. Men now a days (not all) are so concerned about having sex and counting how many girls they've had. I honestly think you're doing a great thing. Waiting till marriage is beautiful. I've been with one guy (now celibate) but I truly wish that I had waited for marriage. I know its a lot of pressure on you, hearing your friends talk about sex and how many girls they’ve been with...having females throw themselves at you showing their availability...YES its very hard I know. And at times you wish to be single because of this and when you finally get in a relationship it involves kissing and caressing and cuddling which gets VERY tempting. You can kiss your g/f but its all about SELF CONTROL.
What I can say is that if these females CAN NOT appreciate your wait till marriage then these females are not really into you. When someone is truly into someone he/she respects one's decision...that’s what love is about. RESPECTING one's wishes and if you feel as if she is not respecting you as a virgin then I would suggest you leave her. but make it clear that you are a virgin and you want to stay a virgin until marriage. A real woman would respect you and wait. A woman who wants to devirginize you will not be there for you afterwards because if you really mean a lot to her she'll wait and respect you and your decisions.
P.S. Virgin guys are such a turn on...Don't let the "You're still a virgin" talk from your buddies put you down. You're doing great. True love will come along and you'll know it when she respects you. Good Luck!
2007-01-18 18:13:52 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. Q & A 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if a girl doesn't understand your desires as far as sex and kissing go, then she doesn't deserve you. While dating, kissing is a great way to show you care. Not kissing at all might be a bit extreme, as you said, but you don't have to kiss every frog to get to your "princess". Sex should be shared between two married people. That's one thing that makes marriage unique and very special. She's not the gal for you if that's all she wants before she moves on to the next guy.
As far as kissing goes, age has a something to do with it. If you are 30, and won't kiss a chick, that is weird. If you are 15, then waiting is definately recommended.
2007-01-18 18:14:16 · answer #3 · answered by betatesterwood 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I find it highly honorable and respectable. And if a girl can't accept you for that then she's the wrong girl. Sex is not everything. Trust me I speak from experience. Premarital sex hurts your heart and mind and emotions more then you know or need to know. Because when you break up you cannot get back that part of yourself that you've given away to the other person. Kissing is ok but watch it cuz it can lead to more serious things. NO nothing is wrong with saving that first kiss and your virginity for miss right and for the woman you marry. Go for it and good luck. God speed in all that.
2007-01-18 18:11:32 · answer #4 · answered by dave_83501 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with kissing your girlfriend.. I don't really see a need to preserve that for your future wife... Sex, I can understand, if you don't want to have premarital sex, then don't, I'm sure any girl worth having would be able to respect and understand that, if she can't she's not worth it. But if you're not into kissing or showing affection like that, I can understand why your previous girlfriends have left, females tend to want/crave affection like that, and if we don't get the feeling that you're into us (we start thinking "why won't he kiss me? What's wrong with me?" and stuff like that) even if you really are and you just don't express it, we leave. Maybe start working your way up to kissing your girlfriend, and let her know that it's something you haven't been comfortable with because you were hoping to preserve yourself for marriage.. I just think you're taking the whole preserving yourself a little too far...
2007-01-18 18:12:14 · answer #5 · answered by yogastar02 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off there is nothing wrong with kissing as long as you don't go over bored. Plus, There is nothing wrong with staying pure until marriage. I did! It makes a big difference to your future wife knowing that you honored her by waiting.If she knows that you were her first and one and only and you stayed committed to your own body. Just think how much she will know that you will be committed to her and her body! It made a big difference to my wife to know that she was my first, my last and my everything! Don't buy into the pressures of society that tells you "Well every else is doing it!" Because your going to be sorry in the long run. Do you know how many people wished that they would have waited? How many fatherless family's with only the single moms out there to rise there baby's alone, regretting every day not because they don't love their baby's but because their baby's will never grow up to know there father! Also know that God has given sex to us so we for one could continue the human race from one generation to another. Two: God also gave us sex to find pleasure and honor are wife. And the most important it is an expression of love and unity between husband and wife. It is a sign of their commitment to each other in the bonds of there marriage and the marriage vows. The word of God says: Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral" (Hebrews 13:4) So, you have to ask yourself are you ready to make such a commitment to your girlfriend because by having sex before marriage you are saying that you are ready to honor her, ready for marriage and ready for a long commitment not only to her but to your baby if you weren't careful!? Think about it!
2007-01-18 19:01:49 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that's amazing. I'm waiting until marriage too :) I lost my virginity at 15, by being pressured into it by my boyfriend of 2 years. We broke up. And I regret it everyday of my life. So I haven't had sex since, I wish I could take it back. You should be proud. I know many virgins who are over 17 act like it's horrible, I think it's a great thing to be proud of. I personally couldn't date a guy who wasn't a virgin.
2016-05-24 06:07:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not stupid at all. There are a lot of girls out there saving themselves for their husband as well, wait for one of them to come along. Fewer and fewer people (out of those already saving sex for marriage) these days save kissing for marriage, but if you feel that that is something you only want to share with your wife, don't feel pressured to be like everyone else.
If getting in touch with reality involves herd mentality, avoid it. Being your own person is much better, and I think in the long run you'll be happier with yourself if you stick with your gut instinct. Anyone who needs you to change your beliefs and physical boundaries is not really in love with you, so forget them!
2007-01-18 18:12:29 · answer #8 · answered by Tired girl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay bro, time for a bit of advise. Kissing, done well, can often times lead to sex. BUT, kissing is not sex, it is foreplay. And foreplay covers a LOT of ground without getting into full-on intercourse.
Waiting until you get hitched for the sex is VERY admirable, male or female. But don't pass up on the smooching. It is part of getting to know some one past that point which you seem to be able to reach regularly. If the lady can't understand YOUR desire to wait for the sex, that's her loss. It is yours if you won't snogg her tho.
2007-01-18 18:08:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Look at Jesus brother. Whether you believe he is the son of God or not, look at why he was so loving, kind, understanding and patient with us. I guess what I am really saying is to try and be patient with your self. God has the right woman for you. She will be truly thankful that you waited and so will you. She is out there and she has similar questions and feelings. It is a true blessing if you both can wait. Your children will also be blessed and benefit from this in so many ways. God needs good men like yourself who will listen and trust him. As Jesus said to the thief on the cross,"soon you will be in paradise".
This holds true for you too brother. God Bless you, your future wife and children.
2007-01-18 18:20:45 · answer #10 · answered by Matt 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋