Hi Daughters Dad is calling Best Friend to find out about Daughter he only calls her once a month?

Question

My Daughter dad is calling my best friend to find about his Daughter.So he calls her once a month to find out.His phone don't work half the time I guess he has a pay as you go phone and don't kept up with the MIn. I want none thing to do with him.He wants me to have the # and I told her to tell him that I don't want it. He is not a good father for my Daughter. I have friends that are better to her than her own dad. My daughter is asking about her Dad and I tell her I don't know were he is. What should i be telling her. She sometime call other people Dad and they are not. I more happy without him being around and I don't have to have my daughter lie about being around her Dad. He drinks around her sometime but puts it into a cup so she don't know what it is. Then he acts dumb.She has a Dad figure that is her Grandpa. She don't need anyone else.I live with my parents and had to go to part time job because of him.I had a full time job that I love and had to give it up because of babysat

No he don't drink all the time it was the last couple of visit with him which was in november.He was drinking around her before the last time when she was 1 years old and I stop it for a whilewe don't get a long at all most of the time and when we all on the phone he its like he just wants to start stuff. My best friend is not really saing anything to her. I have the rest of everything esle in the other ones that I wrote. He see her 5 to 6 time a year and I have to bring her up there he don't pay support. My daughter been with me her whole life and my parents. My question is that how do you tell her that her Dad is better off without her. Its to much stress on her and me the bull he is doing. He wants to see her when he wants. He don't buy Birthday and Christmas present. He starts stuff around the time so he don't have to. Its been less stress for the last 2 months with out him.They is to much stuff and its been a living nightmare for the last 4 years. Has anyone esle been though this.

No its not that I had to babysat i run out of room. The babysitting I had move and I could not find one I could afford. So you are saying its best for her to go see her father when he said that I don't know how to take all the time and a bunch of other stuff he said. he just checking on her . He don't care he knows how to get a hold of me and he don't. he just going though my friend so it looks like he cares. I don't talk bad around my daughter about him. My parents don't like him because all the stuff he put me though.He left me when I was 4 pregnant with her and said its not his saw her at 5m. You are not me and you don't know the whole story about her father. My daughter is almost four years old and she doen't really know her dad. He the one that did it not me. I try so many time for her to see him most of the time he would make other plans with his friends. He is 46 years and don't know how to take care of a kid and he is leaving to Mexico in 3 to 4 years. I just saying how he is.

Answer 1

Regardless of the stuff that is going on between you and your ex, your daughter has a right to know her own dad. Everytime you put him down, you are telling her that half of what makes her up is defective. It is your duty to see to it that a relationship is at least possible for her with her dad. You can make it clear that you won't tolerate his drinking around her, but you do not have the right to steal the relationship with her dad from your daughter just because it's more comfortable for you. The fact that he has to call a neighbor for information about his daughter shows that you two have a communication problem. Your daughter does not deserve to be put in the middle of a fight between her parents.

Answer 2

I go though the same thing nly my daughter doesnt and hasnt seen her dad at all. He doesnt pay anything and when i did talk to him he wouldnt even ask about her it was What are you doing? Who are you with? and thats y i dont tlak to him anymore. I am happily married and my husband has been there since my daughter has been born and thats who her dad is in all of our eyes. He calls other ppl that know me and try and figur out about me and her but all they do is say if you want to know go over there. He wont come. Hes not a man he never was. I was stupied to get with him and the only thing that i got out of the relationship was my daughter. All he ever did was cheat and play games but things will get better and tell you friend to not be telling him anything about you or your child. Seems like hes not a verry good daddy theres not many of them. Find someone who will love you and your daughter for yall and that will take good care of you.

Answer 3

First of all if he was good enough to lay down with he is good enough to have a baby with! That is why there is something called PROTECTION! And I really hope you aren't so negative around your daughter about her DAD as you are on here because she will blame you as she gets older for NOT having a relationship with her own Father! Yes you should have his number what IF something really bad happened and you or say the hospital needed him for blood or donate something for your two's daughter! You have to look at all views not what you just want! How many married or living together parents drink around there kids the record for that is high up there? Alot of them drink it from a can or bottle so I give him a thumb up for at least showing respect to put it in a cup! As you say this its in your own words from up at the top ( I MORE HAPPY WITHOUT HIM BEING AROUND) It's not about you it is about that little girl and he father not what makes you happy but what makes HER happy! Alot of people have those prepaid phones no big deal either way a monthly cell phone or prepaid! WHY would you have to lie if she is around her DAD it seems more then what your saying and you live with your parents? I sorta see why u are negative and putting him down alot that you might be young!! That's great you had a full time job that you loved BUT had to give it up to babysat? You don't babysit your on child!!! And yea she has a GRANDPA and that's what he is GRANDPA not her DADDY!! What she don't need anyone else because she has her grandpa? You best let her build a bond with her DADDY or it will blow right up in your face with you and your daugter! You should be happy that he is calling someone to check on his daughter sounds like he can't call your parents house by the way you talk and act! But by LAW he can!! Everyday up to 30 min. before 8:00 p.m. with or without paying child support! And can take her every other weekend tues and thurs. for 3 hours or/and over night during his off weekends! Every other Holiday and 4 hours on her Birthday and then the next birthday you get her 4 hours and he keeps changes like that every year! And even GETs his daughter on FATHER'S DAY! By the way you typed your under 18 and you still love him and jelous that he calls your best friend and you wish he could call your parents house and I think alot of this is coming from your parents and no so much from your heart!!! You and your Daughter and her Daddy are in my PRAYERS and try to keep peace and you never know you might need him for something in the long run!!!!! She has her Daddy and her Mommy in her! I would not fight with him be the bigger person and there will be no fighting! Or have someone go with you and they take her to see himand you wait in the car at drop offs! Noone should be around anyone that will get drunk! But be there for your DAUGHTER not for YOURSELF!!!

Answer 4

You actually favor to fake that he doesn't exist. Beat him at his own interest. deliberately ignore him (once you do not attempt to make eye contact with him or approach him to talk to him he will quite ask your self what's up). tell your self previous to time that you're mentally and bodily more suitable than him and also you gained't enable him to reduce your happiness at sharing this outstanding day along with your cousin. If he procedures you, walk round him or turn away. If he places a hand on you, seem him in the interest and say firmly, "do away along with your hand from my body now" and walk away. Paste a grin on your face and do not enable some thing get rid of it - save your eye on the purpose of a joyful birthday on your cousin and also you'd be nice. you shouldn't be feeling harm, you need to be feeling anger. of route your mom knew some thing about this guy's issues it truly is why she divorced him, yet she likely idea he might want to be a extra useful father than he became a husband. regrettably for you that could no longer the case. Your mom has executed an astounding job of elevating you (you sound very mature and form in this letter), so so that you could be happy with your self and her. sturdy success and God Bless.

Answer 5

Insist on supervised visits through the courts only. He will have to appear for those visits sober and cannot take her anywhere. But, she should for her own opinion about her father. If you lie to her, she will find out and might resent you later for it. Let her get to know him. Kids are smart. Her Grandpa may be her father figure, and that's great, but, she sees other kids with their fathers, and she has to have questions. Don't let her think that he just didn't care enough to want to see her. That would be cruel. She will figure that out on her own, and won't hold anything against you.

Answer 6

i think your lame.with a capital L.Because my mother did the same thing to me. (because he wouldn't go by her word) my dad was and is a alcoholic/drug addict.She never gave me chance, nor him the chance. so now guess what.im 27 and i talk to my dad once a year for 10seconds,every year.just to make sure hes alive.My dad didn't try to hard. but it seems like your baby daddy is attempting to be in her life. regardless if he has a problem.thats not your problem.you should let that lil girl see her daddy,let her make the judgment if she wants to be around him.you ever heard of supervised visitation.yeah. Also, you need to read up on fatherless children. they have many complications in life. I know i did. legal problems.

Answer 7

I understand what you are saying. he only wants to be a daddy when it is convenient for him not whe your daughter is sick and up all night crying or when christmas is around the corner and you have to buy presents right? well i think you are right to keep him away from her but you have to keep it that way you cant let her have a daddy for one month then no daddy the next. its either hes in or out.

Answer 8

You made a decision to have his daughter, & that is what you will have to live with... You can monitor when he can visit with her, if he is drinking obviously it's no. But if you choose to boot him out of her life now, Your daughter might have plenty to say to you later on down the line.

Answer 9

He wants to know how she is, but you are right to keep him away when drinking. Your friend shouldn't be encouraging him. He needs to accept that he has to clean up his act. As long as he can call and get info he wouldn't care enough to try.

Answer 10

Ok now that you got that off your chest, what is your question? PS she don't need him if he can't even have a short visit without drinking.