All right, I need your help... kind of?

Question

So, heres the deal. Last year was my junior year, so september of 2005 I started going out with a girl named stephanie. I didn't think it was anything special at first until we hit the three month spot. Then we started to do the normal teenager things... but she was a sophomore at the time, keep that in mind.

Now when I say normal things, I don't mean sex. I mean make out (did that 2 weeks after we hooked up), you know, grope, that kind of stuff... and then the topic of sex came about around 4 months.... surprisingly not by me. She wanted to know what I thought. I told her that maybe later in the relationship, until then lets have fun. Well, back ground about her. Her dad was a raging alcoholic and died because of it, which drove her to say she'd never ever do anything like that. Well, in may of 06', we broke up because we were growing apart... we still never had sex because I didn't want her to regret anything and she still had two years ahead of her. but now shes drinking... (c)

and shes going out with guys she said she would never date... and she has completely changed who she is and she hangs out with. I feel like part of this is my fault, but then I know somewhere that it's just because she's growing up.... I don't know... what's your idea's on the whole thing?

Answer 1

well i would say it sounds like she isn't ready for a committed relationship... but if she is already drinking at this age, she could have more serious problems... my advice to u, be her friend, help her with the issues she might be dealing with... if I had one piece of advice for any of my ex-bf's, it would be, don't tell me what I am doing wrong in my life, but help me get through it, as a friend... it's amazing how many of us tend to see someone differently, and ourselves after them being there through the bad times...

Answer 2

That's a tough one. It seems that since what you two had didn't work for her, she thought she would try a different route. Most people go through a rough patch sooner or later in their life where they feel the need to explore. Hopefully it's just a phase and she'll get back on track when she sees that she's going down the wrong path. But for now, the best thing you can do is be a friend and support her. Don't lecture her, it would just make things worse. Good luck!