Why do most women prefer dating men that treat them like their personal possession these days?

Question

Has being an outgoing, nice person with personality and spontaniety become boring?
Yes, I am basing this on past experiences. I go on one date with a woman and that's usually it. They seem interested, I play my cards right, but havent' dated anyone consistently for a few years now.

Ladies, what is it you want? Seriously? Im 26....am I supposed to compromise my dignity to become that Italian asshole you dream of? What's missing here?

None of you know me, so don't say it's my attitude. Thanks. It's late and im aggrevated my love life is going about as good as the general climate of this country under Bush. And that's pretty bad in of itself . Now the thing is.......I'm basing what im saying on 50 percent what im seeing too. Because everytime I tell myself, I am fine with who I am, I see couples EVERYWHERE. There's some blond girl with a guy with a piercing. Am I missing something?
Why are women saying im "awesome" but f*cking other men?

TJ, I'd rather eat glass than take advice on my love life from a glorified housewife. A once hot near 40s neophyte does not the most worldy person on Earth make.

Im pretty pathetic? Check out your profile hon.....That's WREAKS of insecurity. What grown person refers to themself as a milf? Vain much? Vanity is to insecurity as Peyton Manning is to the national media. Overrated.

Your time is up, why don;t you get a sitcom?

Answer 1

Not all women are the same. You just met the wrong ones that you shouldn't be taking seriously. With some women, being treated like a possession isn't that apparant to them. For these individuals, it's a bit flattering because it makes them feel wanted, needed and protected. Of course there are more healthier alternatives to show the same things. Don't worry about it too much. You'll end up finding the right one for you.

Answer 2

I'm only nineteen, but in my experience (which isnt much) I have found that it is possible for a guy to be too nice. Women want a man with some backbone. I'm not telling you to start acting like a complete jerk, but try saying no once in a while.

Or maybe its that you are looking in all the wrong places. Think of the ideal woman. What does she do? What are her hobbies? How about hanging out in places where you actually have a chance of meeting someone that you have something in common with.

Or maybe its that you are looking in general. I was the only eighteen year old who had never had a boyfriend. But as soon as i stopped looking, there were suddenly multiple choices to pick from.

I hope this helped at least a little bit. If you have any other questions or if you would like any more insight, feel free to email me or im me if I am on at [e-mail]. Or I am also on aim as crazi4aseximexi.

Answer 3

I'm not sure that's true of "most women" actually. And a guy having a body piercing has nothing to do with being possessive. Maybe you're seeing something that isn't really there. I think you're probably just being too hard on yourself and perhaps a little disrespectful of women. Try not to judge or envy what others have, because those kinds of feelings do show in your attitude, whether you realize it or not. So what if you haven't found a perfect match at the ripe old age of 26! lol Just keep being yourself, meeting people and enjoying the company of nice people. The time will come when someone who appreciates you for exactly who you are, will fall crazy in love with you. Just be prepared to recognize and accept it. :) Good Luck.

Answer 4

I'll admit it - I'm a nice Catholic girl with a tendency to be attracted to "bad boys" . . . But what exactly does that mean? I find a guy who is adventurous, outspoken, bold, and independent to be incredibly sexy. It all translates into confidence - the one personality trait that draws me in and keeps me addicted. For some reason, guys with those traits tend to fall in the "bad boy" category.

The problem with nicer guys is that they're usually too nice . . . if someone makes it clear during the first date that they're willing to do anything I say, I become very bored knowing there's no challenge - nothing to look forward to.

If you truly adhere to the personality traits that you initially described, I would advise you not to change. You sound like you're neither an arrogant a** nor a pushover, which is obviously a good thing. Just make sure that you're projecting confidence wherever you are - particularly around women you're interested in. A nice, courteous guy who also knows how to take control is very, very attractive in the eyes of many women.

Answer 5

It's the women you're going after. Sorry. I know you want me to say that I'm a woman and I like a man to treat me like crap but I don't. Maybe when I was younger and I had delusions that I could change an a**hole guy but, I wised up. Some women don't. I don't know you or the chicks you've dated but it sounds like you're going after the wrong kind of girls. Try to go after a woman who has a mind of her own and isn't into playing games. Basically, the older most women get, the less they want that guy who doesn't call them back or treats them like they're invisible. My only advice is to stay the way you are. You'll attract someone who likes you for you.

Just because I can't help myself, I'm going to tell you, your attitude does speak volumes. You sound pi**y and bitter. That's not a good color on you, man. So what if some women don't see you for the awesome man you say you are. Their loss, right? Do you want to waste your time on those women? Didn't think so. Be patient and quit comparing yourself to what you think others have. You don't always know what goes on behind closed doors or why those people connect. Besides, there's nothing wrong with piercings. lol

Answer 6

Maybe you are looking for the wrong women. I don't know. It seems that sometimes it take a while to find a person who genuinely really wants you for you and appreciates you. That guy with a piercing may be a total doll. I don't know. I know I fell into the bad boy trap for a while. It was really all about enjoying the chase and it was STUPID. Now I am with the man of my dreams who treats me like I always wanted to be treated (love and respect). Once that right person is there you never want to let go and you do appreciate all their great qualities. I am so thankful that I didn't stay with any of the losers I got with in my youth.
Maybe it is just the age of the women you are seeing now.

Answer 7

Wow, it is quite hard to believe that you are 26. I certainly don't like being possessed. Nor would I go out with someone again who is so global in their dislike of woman. When you say "play your cards right", to me that suggests you are not being yourself, but trying to put on an act. Most perceptive women can pick that up. On the other hand, if the real YOU is the person who wrote this question ... and asked the same question a number of times I see ... healthy, self-assured women wouldn't like that either .. in fact THAT person is downright scary. Hope you get some professional help.

Answer 8

Well we may not know you well enough to say it is your attitude. Although the 'tude that comes out in your writing isn't particularly attractive. I suspect your problem may have lot to do with bitterness and internalized anger. Usually indicative of rigidity and very narrow boundaries.

However, there is your track record with women. It's pretty pathetic. The old saying is if one or two people say you have a tail, keep walking. If a lot of people say you have a tail, you better check behind you. Same here .. a number of women dump you after one date. They are picking up something from you that is a turn-off. If you find one that seems particularly open and accessible and perceptive you might ask her. Don't be defensive just listen and not comment ... I think that would be really hard for you.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

I've never seen such repressed anger towards women. You are really a powder keg and mass of insecurities. I can believe that women would not want to go out with you again. You need to lighten up on yourself and others. A female therapist would be very good ... and challenging for you.