I seem to find a lot of divorced men with at least 3 kids and so many of them are under 18 although the men tend to be in their 40s or 50s. I am reluctant to date someone with 3 kids even when they live with the ex because that means that he still has contact with his exwife and half his money is going to her for child support. I have one child who is almost grown and have to connection or obligations to my ex. What are the disadvatages to this type of guy and are their any advantages? I feel that a man with that many dependents would never be able to afford to spend money on me or make a home with me if we married because of all those kids.
2007-01-18 16:01:37 · 10 answers · asked by reallyfedup 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There is a big downside to dating a man with multiple kids. Baby mama drama being downside # 1 - he still talks to her, still gives her money, she's still a part of his life and, for some guys, he's still sleeping with her! And there's the whole child support thing - that can be a major financial drain. And then there's the deadbeat dad thing - you'll have the extra spending money until the day he gets subpoenaed to Family Court and they garnishee his pay!
2007-01-18 16:08:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You certainly have a grip on the why not and that works both ways. Heck two or even one kid can be a deal breaker if the one kid is the kid from he-double hockey sticks.
The whole thing is though you may miss the perfect soul mate if you adhere to the steadfast rule of no kids no exes dating. The man may have an ex that refuses to let go but handles her in a positive way for himself and those directly effected. He pays his support on time and yet has enough money to not live in a cardboard box or with momma. The dinner and flowers may be In-in-Out and a pic of a flower in an e-mail but after all it is the thought that counts.
Life is fluid and just gets gummed up if you don't let it flow.
2007-01-19 00:22:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
And your RIGHT..
the first big problem i find is the EX-wife.
I will not date someone with 3 small kids ,no way give up my weekend to stay home and baby sit ,and the ex-wife gets the weekend off ,hell no.
for me the disadvantages out number the advantages.
I feel i already did my job I raised my son and now he's on his own ,it's my time now to enjoy life with out any headache.
pulse I can financially tack care of my self better , then most man with or with out kids do for them self.
For some woman it work's and I wish them all luck and I'm happy for them.
Me I work to hard to take a step backwords like that, i believe in going forward in life not back words.
I fee that I come with out baggage , drama or headache's I deserve the same.
I feel that an equal partnership work best.
I love the way you think, more woman need to think with their brains first before jumping in legs first or leting there hart leed the way.
I don't think you'll need it but good luck .
2007-01-19 00:57:59 · answer #3 · answered by ღ♥ஐcookie1ஐ♥ღ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To judge a man by some thing he can not change is truly unfair. go ahead date one but remember because you are dating dose not mean you are forever so have a little fun you never know you might find one you like or even love?
(never date a dick like you said you have a kid and a lot of people don't realize how when they are unhappy on the inside they hurt the ones they love even when they don't mean to)
2007-01-19 00:14:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the guy and the kids. If the kids and you don't get along, then it's a bad sign. If you do get along with them, and vice versa, that's a good sign. Depends on his relationship with his ex, is it a war zone (bad) or amicable (good, usually). Plus some ex's get mad that their ex is dating someone (depending on why the got divorced, was he cheating on her?). Also, is the guy rich, or is he having trouble making payments? The less baggage the better.
2007-01-19 00:07:50 · answer #5 · answered by ANSWER MY QUESTION!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Advantages is that you already know he has been committed to someone else and he is not the type of person to have a family and not take care of them. The disadvantage is the reason they are no longer a family and why he and his ex split in the first place!!
2007-01-19 00:06:36 · answer #6 · answered by Danielle F 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well la-dee-dah! You complain in one question that it's unfair for college-educated men to reject you because you're not college-educated, and then you say you don't want to date someone because 'half his money is going to his ex-wife for child support"! So are you marrying a guy for his money or because of who he is? If you're taking his money into account, then it's hardly unfair of him to take your (lack of) education into account. If you want to be accepted on your own merits (which I am sure are considerable) you have to practice what you preach.
2007-01-19 15:20:58 · answer #7 · answered by AnOrdinaryGuy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you would have issues with someone w/a past. Obviously finances are important as well as him having no ties to his past. I'd say don't bother if you really feel that way.
2007-01-19 00:08:14 · answer #8 · answered by Just Me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His kids come first.
2007-01-19 00:07:16 · answer #9 · answered by coffeemate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships aren't money based unless you are a hooker or a gold-digger! Take care of yourself.
2007-01-19 00:08:06 · answer #10 · answered by spacedchic00 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋