I am starting to date 8 months after my divorce. For future reference, I'd like to hear some suggestions on how to introduce a special guy to my kids. My oldest is 3 and my youngest is 10 months. What are some good ways to go about this?
2007-01-18 15:59:34 · 7 answers · asked by Stephanie 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
okay, i don't think i stated the question quite like i wanted to LOL.
i am not going to introduce all these strange men to my kids. i was thinking i would date one guy at a time, take it slow, get to know each other, see if we're good for each other and after a few months, if things get serious, introduce my kids to him. that is all under the pretense that i will meet a man who is willing to do that. if he isn't willing, he's not right for me anyway. i am not going to parade a bunch of unfamiliar men in front of my kids, nor will i devote less time to them. i think i am allowed one night out every now and again. my children come first. i was just asking out of curiosity. don't be so judgemental
2007-01-18 16:48:53 · update #1
Just have him come over and.... ask him to burp the baby and change the toddler's poopy diaper
2007-01-18 16:03:42 · answer #1 · answered by STEVE0 THE CLOWN 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
WOW you have been given some very harsh answers to your question. I think you answered the question yourself and you have your head screwed on the right way.
Being a single mom doesn't mean you need to spend your life alone and only with your kids. You are entitled to time to yourself and with friends. What would people say if you wanted to go out with female friends?
How about meeting at the park with a picnic. The children can play while you chat. If having the children on a date is too soon, maybe meet with friends over drinks and dinner (your friends can then impert their opinions). Do you have a hobby you can include him in like swimming, hiking, etc.
Just be sensible. As you said, only introduce another man to the children if you are serious. It is only a short time since dad was out of the picture and it is too soon to be introducing a possible replacement. Have fun, meet socially, but keep it low key for now, you are only newly single.
Hope this helps. Good luck
2007-01-19 01:36:57 · answer #2 · answered by Claire K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In parenting classes that are required in my state after a divorce, they state that you should not introduce a "new friend" unless the relationship is serious.
When you feel it is right, I would probably do something like taking the kids to the zoo or similar place and let them know you are meeting a new friend there. Spend a few hours together and then do it again another time until the kids are comfortable.
2007-01-19 08:48:45 · answer #3 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make sure you let your kids know that the statistics show that the chances are good that this "New Special Guy Friend" will likely try to abuse them in some way... And that many mommies that hear about that happening, choose their man over their kids and ignore the fact that it's going on.
Your responsibility is to raise your children, not go out on "dates"! I would never suggest introducing strange men into a situation like this- it's asking for trouble. Wait till the youngest is 18 and in College- then date. They will thank you for it!
2007-01-19 00:12:46 · answer #4 · answered by pastrbuzz 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Keep your dating life completely separate from your family life. Your children's lives have been turned upside down. They do not need any new men in their lives who might leave them. I can't imagine how you even have time to date without neglecting your children's needs.
Your children do not need the sexualizing of their childhoods, which watching parents date does.
Don't introduce them at all to anyone unless you think you're remarrying this guy.
What an awful start to life your poor babies have gotten. Just concentrate on them. You are very vulnerable to predators who will use you to get close to little kids. Children around boyfriends are very very vulnerable to abuse. Don't do this to them.
2007-01-19 00:38:45 · answer #5 · answered by cassandra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would make sure this guy is going to be around for a while and then introduce him as mommies friend. Make sure to include your kids in stuff like going places.
2007-01-19 00:02:31 · answer #6 · answered by shexshedsxtears 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
personally my kid dont know about mommy boyfriend untill way down into the relationship. when i know that he is serious and i am serious about him too ,because to me seeing mommy with different men send the wrong signals, no matter wat age the child is. plus there is alway, "daddy mommy have a new friend", to encounter. Good luck.
2007-01-19 00:37:59 · answer #7 · answered by islandspiced 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋