I have a very good friend who met this guy in they got engaged 4 months later. She always complained to me about him being selfish, thoughtless, she didn't like that he is another ethnicity, didn't like his name, ALWAYS complained about something concerning him!! Now, she is mad at all of her friends because she decided to marry him and we are all concerned about it. I have told her that she needs to tell us good things about him, but she doesn't and still expects everyone to be so happy for her. She doesn't get why we are hesitant to be so celebratory about something we have never felt she really wanted! She is even trying to change his name because it sounds too ethnic! I don't even know what to say to her! People are saying her myspace reads like she is getting married only to have a wedding. I don't think she would do that - but I cannot even talk to her about it because she is so defensive about everything. But I also cant just forget everything she complained about!
2007-01-18 15:31:11 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
sounds to me that she really doesnt know what she wants, and is a bit scared. Perhaps she thinks that this is the only guy that will want her and she is scared that if she backs out that she will be alone. It doesnt sound like shes happy but is forcing herself to be with him. If you already told her to say good things about him that way you will be happy for her and she still doesnt. Than best thing to do , is really dont pay so much attention to her when she complains about him, try to just nod and change the subject once she sees you just dont care about it maybe she will start talking good or not talking about it at all. Try to put on a happy face for her and help her plan this wedding, its her choice to get married or not, its not up to you. Maybe after everyone doesnt complain and show that they think she should back out, than maybe she will come to her senses and back out.
2007-01-18 15:59:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. One thing to take in to consideration is that some people have a tendancy to vent to their friends and not really share anything else. It's easy to pick up the phone and say "I can't believe what a jerk he can be." But rarely do we call and rage about how happy he makes us on a daily basis or about the little things. Obviously things aren't perfect between them. It's a little wierd that she wants to change his name, but if he's willing to put up with it, that's his business. If she's a good friend you'll be there when they get married and unfortunatley if they divorce, you should be there then too.
2007-01-18 23:40:13 · answer #2 · answered by justjen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend obviously has deeper issues that need to be resolved. The fact that she can't tell you anything good about this guy is probably because she doesn't believe there is anything good and she feels that she can change him to make him suit her. Unfortunately your friend and her fiance will end up losing in the end as no-one wants to be changed. Many of the time the inconsistency lies with the person who wants to change another, rather than the person who is being changed
2007-01-18 23:36:10 · answer #3 · answered by Danielle F 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Change his name because it sounds to ethnic,how cruel.She has no place with him and once he wakes up and realizes what is going on better yet tell him she sounds like a *****.Who would want a friend like her or even admit to having a friend like her.Why are there people out there that just sometimes need a slap or two.Ya know they need a wake up call like life is so not like that it doesn't make sense to me. UGH!!!
2007-01-18 23:41:05 · answer #4 · answered by pookie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You either need to have a really big fight with her and yell it into her thick head that she is making a huge mistake and tell her why because right now she is very blinded. or You can just play happy with her because you want to keep her as a friend and when she is about to get a divorce, you will be there for her through all of that. She will end up divorced!!!
2007-01-18 23:47:25 · answer #5 · answered by toothfairy.2006 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just ask her straight, why is she marrying this guy when she doesn't like anything about him. If she clams up and won't discuss it, there really isn't anything you can do. If she asks you to be a bridesmaid, I don't think I'd be keen to accept - and again explain why.
2007-01-19 05:55:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend already sounds very controlling. Tell her your happy for her never the less. Let her make her own mistakes, and hopefully she will learn from them. Poor guy though.....
2007-01-18 23:37:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anthony R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is going to go threw with the wedding whether you approve or not so if you don't want to lose her as your friend just be supportive and be there for her when her life falls apart.
2007-01-18 23:37:54 · answer #8 · answered by Izzy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People are very stubborn, but jsut express your opinion. my brother marrie d awitch he complained about.. she even wrote a lsit of things worng with him and our family and he still married her. people do the dumbest things, but voice your opion when we tried talking to ym brother about it he didnt want to listen to us at all.. its a mind set thing i think. Good luck with ur friend
2007-01-18 23:40:30 · answer #9 · answered by someones love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can make suggestions to her and try to make them hints rather then a full confrontation because when people are confronted usually they rebel against what you have said, support her so she knows she wont be without help if she decides to back out... thats all you can do the rest is up to her.
2007-01-18 23:37:18 · answer #10 · answered by ? 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋