Lets say a couple has two children.
One is male.. let's call him Masonn, unplanned, very healthy.. he is now grown and married and has two children and an amazing job. He has a lot of friends, is very successful in life.. and generally, very happy.
One is female, planned, very sick, lets call her Kaelynn, she is now grown, dropped out of college and temporarily unemployed. She was once told that she would never be able to hold down a job because of her illnesses and never be able to have any children. She has a handful of friends, and has depression problems. She was once told she has less than 10 years to live.
The father used to verbally abuse his son as a teenager, and now physically abuses/verbally abuses his daughter. It is more severe with the daughter.
The mother always tried to stick up for the son, but ignores her daughter's problems.
What could be the issue(s) here? Tough love?
2007-01-18 14:48:32 · 8 answers · asked by Rae-Rae Nikkoles <3 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
**edit: I'm writing a story/novel about this, so if it seems a little fake, then yeah.. well, I'm trying to get better.
2007-01-18 16:31:08 · update #1
this does not sound like favoritism to me. Beleve me, I know about favoritism. my parents love my older brother much more than they love me. they have always given him more than he wants and me less than I need. they clame he is perfect and I am scum, and they do lots of things to show that they like him better. may the mother in this situation does not know how to address her daughter's problems. the father sounds like he is just abusive to both of them.
2007-01-18 15:28:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is not tough love! Some parents do tend to favor one child over another. They won't admit it, but they do. Maybe one child behaves just the way they want children to behave and another child behaves completely the opposite.
I have 5 children. I love all my children very much. But there is one of my children who tends to misbehave more than the rest. He tends to cause more problems more than the rest and he is more disrespectful than the rest. The school usually calls me once/twice a month to complain about his behavior and has gotten in trouble on the school bus as well. I don't love him any less, but I do have to treat him differently than the rest of the children. If for the third time I have had to get onto him for something, then my disciplinary action toward him is going to be a lot different than if another child has done the same exact thing but for the first time. Does that make sense? To the more difficult child, he may see that as unfair and my not understand why if they have both done the same thing why is he being punished differently.
I'm not saying that this is the reason the parents have behaved the way that they did. And any abusive action is really uncalled for. But maybe in the parents thoughts, they see cause for doing what they do.
If YOU see differently, then you should most definitely stand up for yourself, put your foot down and stress that you have been mistreated long enough and you will not accept it any longer. You are an adult now and they have no right to disrespect you in such a manner.
Best wishes!
2007-01-18 23:03:52 · answer #2 · answered by †♥mslamom♥† 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the issue isn't the kids, it's the parents. lots of parents may show some slight favoritism but verbal abuse is just plain wrong. my advice to both of the children actually would be to stick up for each other when the father starts to verbally abuse the children, and to not take any of his crap. It's your life not his, and him trying to make you feel bad about yourself will only make the situation worse. the daughter should tell the father this next time he starts getting mad (the son should too, when his turn comes around again- the dad's going to probably always be switching back and forth between who he attacks)
2007-01-18 22:58:26 · answer #3 · answered by opi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The mother may have a favorite, but it sounds like the father just dislikes everyone equally.
Well, actually, the father dislikes himself. He's angry about either his present situation or something in his past and he's taking it out on the kids.
The Mother may be concentrating more on the son because he seems to be less of a burden and has more of an opportunity in life to go far. She may want to make sure that's not wasted.
2007-01-18 23:00:30 · answer #4 · answered by Melissa Me 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
senario seemed little far off. I have two girls. I felt guilty because I thought I favor one over the other, but that wasn't the case. I was giving them different love according to their needs, and personality.
2007-01-19 00:19:13 · answer #5 · answered by KaPaul L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEITHER CHILD WAS FAVORED IN THIS SITUATION, NEITHER OF THESE PARENTS SHOULD HAVE HAD KIDS!!!
ABUSE IS ABUSE IS ABUSE AND WHAT YOU DESCIBED WAS ABUSE!!!
2007-01-19 00:11:13 · answer #6 · answered by gourmetkid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's so sad, all i know is i love both my children the same and i would never hurt them.
2007-01-18 22:56:39 · answer #7 · answered by honeybear 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Favor?All the time!
2007-01-18 22:55:56 · answer #8 · answered by Jim C 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋