what can a soon to be step mom do to control a out of control 7 yr old stepson?

Question

my bf's son is spolied rottten from his parents guilt over the divorce(he was a baby when they divorced and does not even remember them together)they both allow him to walk all over them and give into his ever wish.i really could care less what his mom does but his dad is just as bad and i live with my bf.he wants consent attention from my bf and has a fit if my bf shows me any.he also consently talks back to us mostly me and i have a hard time getting him to behave for me.how can i get my bf to get over his guilt and step up as a parent and discipline his child.also can any stepmoms give me any advice on how i can get his child to listen and respect me.i have been with my bf for 4 yrs and the older his son gets the worse its getting.

Answer 1

Call the Dog Whisperer. Worked for cartman.

Answer 2

If in 4 years this hasn't changed, it never will. And the relationship between you and your bf will suffer for it until you honestly tell him how you feel and walk. Other wise, your just prolonging the inevitable. Eventually that boy will be dumping dad for his friends, and dad will then get the wake up call. I knew a couple guys like that. They eventually regretted all the good woman they let go for the ungrateful, spoiled teenager they now have (or should I say do not have because they eventually spend all their time with friends and only want expensive toys) They usually don't come back around to respecting and wanting to be around their parents till about late 20's, early 30's. I know you love him, 4 years is a long time, but if it continues to get worse...guess what's going to happen?

Answer 3

Try this link, ans scroll down to the spoiled brat screening quiz
http://pediatrics.about.com/od/discipline/Discipline_Guide_for_your_Kids.htm

1.) Tell your boyfriend (If you have not already) you are concerned about his behavior, and that you want a hand in discipline. If you do- you both sit down and set up rules that are to be followed consistently.

2.)Make sure there is not another situation there (like attention disorder, etc)


If he is wishy-washy about putting the foot down when expecting the child to act with consideration that is normal for a 7 year old, then point out that letting him think the sun rises and sets for him is BAD for him.

What is he going to do when he finds out the world is not fair? That the world is not going to bend over and let him have his way? He will be confused, and he wont' deal with it properly. If he understands that life has a give and take aspect, then he will expect it, and be able to shoulder disappointments and failures better. He will be able to overcome them instead of sitting and pouting because he failed.

Discipline is Discipline. The word is used for many aspects, but they all come down to the same thing- controlling ones self for the benefit of ones self and those around you.

Answer 4

I'm not a step mom, or a mom- I'm an 18 year old girl whoever, had a step father that got absolutly NO respect from me.

I tell you what you need to do, you need to scare the crap out of the child. Ground him. When the father isn't around you have a long talk about respect and place.
Your BF is the FATHER and he is the SON.
Compassion too, is another way to smooth out the anger. You need to fix it now, because I tell you it will not change. AT all, you also need to confront you rman and tell him he needs to get his kid into shape, because you are a part of his life as well, and don't give him an ultimatim, give him lots and lots of choices to do things, but don't say "fix it or else" just...don't leave any options open to NOT fixing it.
=] best of luck, and remember, if worst comes to worse, flail that little boys behind!

Answer 5

If this kids parents won't step up to the plate to discipline him, don't take on the responsibility for them.

For this you may need to seek the advice of a professional child psychiatrist. Plus the parents may need a few child rearing classes themselves.

What will happen if you have a child and the father refuses to help you with disciplining? I think you should take the blinders off to this situation and assess if this is the best relationship for you.

Answer 6

You and your bf need to sit down and have a serious talk. He need to back you up. You can't do this by yourself or the little jerk is going to tell you that he don't have to listen to you because you're not his mommy. Talk to your man about how this makes you feel. Tell him that if something doesn't break soon then the stepchild will never learn obedience and when he grows up, he will never pay attention to the law and will always end up in jail. Also tell him that if he keeps babying the kid, then the kid will know that his parents will always bail him out and will never learn to be responsible in the future. I really feel for you and good luck!

Answer 7

wow i didnt know a 7 year old could be such a brat! i think u really need to get some time alone with your boyfriend to talk things through with him about it if he loves you he just cant ignore you he'll have to listen. its time you taught that brat a lesson hes needs serious disipline i mean like no lollies for a whole week no tv no nothing untill he starts been nicer if he complains just ignore him and if he starts attacking you make a threat like no video games for a whole month unless he quits whinin and slowly he'll start getting the message but there is no quick way around it. it will take time and effort t get this guy under control but in the end it will all be totally worth it! good luck

Answer 8

I've been in your shoes before...I married a man with a spoiled brat . Believe me..It's a no win situation..I was told by my then husband to discipline him if he needed it. I did try to make him behave especial in public...but no luck. I would punish him by taking away TV,Nintendo ect.... When his Daddy came home I told him what happened and the punishment I gave him.He then
gets mad at me....Then we would end up fighting..I got to tired of it..My "then" husband work long hours and I was left trying to keep this kid straight and out of trouble...I finally had enough. We were divorced within a year..So you should think long & hard before marring a man with a spoiled brat...

Answer 9

Wow, sounds like a handful. The child is probably jealous, when he sees his Dad he is used to having his Dad to himself. Be patient.
Try to establish some type of friendship with the boy, he may be scared. If you are going to marry work it out before you two marry.
Good Luck!

Answer 10

it would be good to get a self help book on parent hood. and how to raze a out of control child . go to chapters also find Dr,Phil's books they work , also other books, the reason the kid is acting this way is he is afraid of change. he think as you are in his territory, think of him *** a tiger, you are in his dean he knows you are not a tiger with the same sent,so he,s protecting his pack, till he feels you belong with his dad, he will act this way, to him you are the enemy,he will act this way till he feels you belong to the pack,when he does he will stop.