How would you plan a wedding if your parents are totally against your marriage?

Answer 1

My in-laws were totally against my marriage to my husband. We lived in another town and another state and when my husband called his family and told them that we were getting married they drove down and took him to their hotel room and gave him a long list of reasons he should not marry me. They hated me. So we called off the wedding then. A little over a year later, we got married on our lunch hour on a Friday afternoon. We went to a judge at the courthouse and got married. My in-laws told my husband it was a stupid thing to do and it would not last.

It has been more than 25 years and we are still married. The in-laws on the other hand, are not. So I would have to go with the elopement. It has worked for us.

Answer 2

First, I'd sit down with them and ask them why they're against it, even if you think you've heard it all already. Then, I'd repeat back what they said in my own words, to make sure I understood, but to also make sure that they feel understood. I'd keep asking, "Is that it?" to make sure I got all of it. Then I'd tell them that I'd go home and think about what they said.

After thinking about what they said, I would decide if it's reasonable or not. Like, if they say s/he is mean to me, I'd decide if there's some truth to it. If there is any chance that they might be right, I'd put off the marriage for a year, until I knew the person better.

If there is no truth to anything they say, like for instance the person is of a different race and they're racist, and I've also known the person for at least a year and I was at least 24 years old (the older you are the more chance of a successful marriage), then I'd plan it like any other wedding. I'd let my parents know they were welcome to come if they can behave themselves. I'd pay for it myself with no help from them. That's it. Then I'd hope they come around when the children are born, but know that they might never do that.

Answer 3

If you have tried every way possible to get them to understand and they still won't, then plan it as you want and hope that they will decide to come! I would suggest having coursages for the mom's in case they have a change of heart and decide to come! Send them an invite to each event: showers, brunches, rehearsal dinner, and the wedding itself! Years down the line, your parents will never be able to say you didn't try! You have to be the bigger person and attempt to include them in everything!
But be prepared in case they don't come, don't let it ruin your entire day! Pray about it (if you are religious at all) and hope that it will work out!
Congrats and good luck! And remember to take the high road in this!

Answer 4

Plan it as if your parents were not against. Its going to be your day and no one should ruin it for you. Just follow through with all your plans and if they want they can help or come at the end. But in the mean time, dont make it clear that it is bugging you. Make it clear that this is what you are wanting and if they dont like it, its still going to happen no matter what. Try not to foucs on how they are reacting and look at the good things coming from this, and focus on your love

Answer 5

A lot depends on your ages. If you both are adults and are capable of suporting yourselves then go and do as you want.

If you are not able to be independent then wait until you are.

Is it important to get the paper that says you are married or not?

Tghere probably are good reasons the parents are against the marriage. Think about it and you might find the are correct.

Answer 6

First I'd take a step back and really look at the reasons they are giving you for being against it. Though not in all cases, but in a lot, they have been around the block a time or two and may be seeing something that you can't right at the moment, cause your in looooooove. Also, if they are seeing a way that you might end up hurt, they don't want that for their child. If you have really taken heed to their advice and still feel the same way, then you just plan it WITHOUT them....Good luck.

Answer 7

Well, I think you have to seriously ask the question as to why your parents are against your getting married first. If they are loving, caring, responsible parents - then what are their concerns and can you address them and put them at ease? Parents do want the best for their kids (and they see the future a little clearer than young people do). On the other hand, if you are 100% sure that marriage is the right thing to do, and you're a full grown adult, then get married. You can elope. Either way - best wishes to you.

Answer 8

I wouldn't plan it then. My parents are paying for mine. WHy are they so against it? If you marry someone they hate then you will have to cut yourself off from your family forever. So if you can deal with that then go ahead and plan it. You can still plan a big wedding (if you have the money). Just invite friends and your spouses family.

Answer 9

Make it exspensive, because in my family the parents pay for the wedding. If they didn't like the marriage I'd show them that I had the final say and they can only make suggestions.

Answer 10

Well- congratulations for one, second- I would say either elope or have a destination wedding. Do what your heart desires and your parents will come around. If they don't... well you could threaten the fact that they won't get to see the grand babies when they come haha that will really get them!