Am I wrong to ask for respect?

Question

I have a child with my ex bf, he broke up with me half way through my pregnacyand married another women. He is in and out of the picture but when he is he calls, he calls me names, yells at me and says I am trying to keep his son from him then hangs up on me befor we can work something out. All I ask is we meet in the middle. The money he gives me isnt even enough to pay for formula. Tonite I told him that I wont put up with it anymore and have not heard anything back. Should I just take what he throws to have a father in the picture??? Why am I so upset?

Answer 1

You deserve respect.Have you taken him to court? Because you need to .You could get better child support and visitations so that ight help with him calling and giving you a hard time one the phone.

Answer 2

First of all, you need to go to Support Enforcement and have child support court ordered. You will have to do a paternity test if he contests it. You can also have court ordered visitation which will set guidelines and times for him to have visitation. You can get a cheap lawyer or use a free attorney. I strongly advise you do that so there won't be any conflict. Doing so will also put you as domiciliary parent.

I really empathise with you. When I went through a divorce 4 years ago, my ex came and went. A visitation schedule really put an end to him coming and going as he pleased. He cheated on me. Even though I did nothing wrong and he asked for the divorce, he was extremely mean and hateful. I didn't understand why. The best explanation I got was that when the other partner ends the relationship and feels guilty, they often try to provoke arguments and say nasty things which in turn makes them feel better about leaving. They will often times create reasons such as your keeping your son away from him to justify his actions and keep you as the bad person.

You must remember that even though he is mean to you, it is no longer about you and him anymore. It is about your son now. In court ordered parenting classes, they tell you not to think of it as a relationship anymore, but as a business partnership. It isn't personal. I know it seems hard to deal with him, but for your son's sake, try not to let him get the best of you. If he starts berating you, tell him that he can call back for visitation when he calms down. Also try to meet in a public place for exchanges and keep it brief.

I would assume that you are upset about the situation because even though he is upsetting you, you once cared for him. He is also your son's daddy. So there will always be a part of you that cares for him and loves him. It makes it even harder that you are raising him as a single mother. That is normal. And time does heal all wounds.

I wish you all the luck and hope this helps.

Answer 3

#1 He BARELY gives you money to help suppor the child you two have toghether?? TAKE HIM TO COURT SO YOU CAN GET CHILD SUPPORT!!! Its his child too and you cant raise him alone. The least he could do is pay up!!!

#2 He is the one who is NOT being cooperative. All you want to do is meet in the middle and there is NOTHING wrong with that.

#3 He sounds unstable and he sounds crazy!! He calls you to put you down and to tell you that you wont let him see his son???? He wont even talk to you so you two can meet in the middle! How does he expect to his son when he wont even talk to you!

#4 You DESERVE some R E S P E C T because you are basically a single mother trying to raise a child on your own. You were right to put your foot down and tell him that you wont stand for his BS anymore.

TAKE HIM TO COURT!! When you do go to court make sure you tell the judge the things he says to you on the phone. You can get recordings of phone conversations. CHILD SUPPORT CHILD SUPPORT CHILD SUPPORT

I wish you the best!

Answer 4

Well i would tell him if you cant talk civily then do not call. As far as money Im guessing he has a court ordered support payment
that was based off of his pay, so I guess he just doesnt make alot. I wish I could say this gets easier but my step son is 3 and my husband and his ex are still at each others throats. Its all because no one wants to compromise sometimes thats the only way.

Answer 5

Take him to court. I am in the process of divorce and the law is that the father has to meet you half way or you take the child there he takes the child back or vice versa. He is trying to get on your nerves but any judge will tell him he has to meet you half way and he can't make arrangements with you if he is always getting mad at you. Make him pay child support and if you can get a court order for a paternity test so he has no way out of it.

Answer 6

You definately deserve respect...you've raised your son and therefore you have been the active mom in his life. I would not take any money from him anymore and I would contact a good lawyer because this sounds like it could be a potential court case. I would also start recording all the names he calls you, dates, and times - and all the times that he calls your names and yells at you and/or hangs up on you. Best wishes...and don't feel that you're going overboard or whatsoever looking out for your baby.....that's what a mommy is there for. :)

Answer 7

Do NOT let that man walk on YOU!
You stand firm, that is your child that you went through labor with and gave birth to. You are the one that the child lives with, YOU call the shots. If nothing else, take him back to court to have the child support order looked over again. Maybe he will have to pay you more. Please don't the a man, well not that man anyway walk on you, he already walked OUT on you, not you have to be strong for you and your boy!
Be strong!!!!!!!

Answer 8

You need to stick up for your self & the baby. It does not sound like you have gone through friend of the court for child support that should be your first action than see if he can make a schedule to see your son, if he can not keep his commitment he is hurting hie son & I would go to court.

Answer 9

honey, you have the right to demand respect form anyone rather it's your own mother.you do not have to put up with any body's stuff,what you do is tell him that if he can't give you the respect you deserves as the mother of his child or A WOMAN for that matter then you don't want him to call until he gives you that respect!!!!
if i were you i would go down to the local family court house and get custody of your child,before he does.

Answer 10

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I don't know where you live, however now a day you can order child support on this guy and they will automatically deduct it from his paycheck. It's a shame now a day that people have relationship and bring a child(en) into this world with out thinking everything through. Having kid(s) takes a lot to rear them such as roof over their head, enough food, clothing, health and well being emotional and mentally, education, ethics, morals, I can go on and on. It's sad to see people now a day reproduce with out thinking through the well fare of their child(en).