My boyfriend wants to be a swinger. His friend's girlfriend is also a swinger should i be worried.
2007-01-18 13:35:34 · 5 answers · asked by TFK 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, you shouldn't be worried. It doesn't mean he loves you less, or loves sex with you less. It just means that he is able to separate recreational sex from relationship sex. Or more concisely, he can separate love from sex. Sex with someone you love is on a whole different level than sex with someone you don't. One has passion and lust, the other just lust.
Since you don't seemed freaked-out by it, you may want to learn some more before you make any decisions. Check-out The Swingers Board http://www.swingersboard.com where they have discussion forums as well as a great "Swinger Advice" section with allot of basic information about the Lifestyle.
2007-01-19 06:47:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you shouldn't be worried. Being a swinger is not like having a communicable disease or something. It doesn't "rub off" on you. The only thing you might be worried about is whether your boyfriend will have a problem respecting your feelings and decision, whatever you decide to do. If you are not interested (and there's nothing wrong with you if you are or are not interested, either way) and he tries to push you into it, be sure to stand your ground. You will NOT be a happy camper if you allow someone to coerce you into doing something you feel is not right...and neither will he. So you are doing both of you a favour when you stay true to yourself.
Now when you say his friend's girlfriend is a swinger, do you mean that your boyfriend's friend and girlfriend swing together? Or that his buddy's girlfriend is out playing solo behind her boyfriend's back...because that's not swinging, it's just plain cheating. Real swinging involves rules, trust, honesty, and a great deal of integrity. Contrary to popular opinion/belief, it's not about the sex. Some people choose to use "swinging" as an excuse to cheat on one another, but that's not definitive of "real" swinging, either. It's about DE-valuing sex, not glorifying it. It's taking it down off the altar we've built for it, not worshipping it as the cornerstone of a marriage, but using it as it was meant to be: a tool to communicate love with one another, and on occasion, recreationally. Polyamorous people also use it to convey feelings of love or friendship with multiple people. But sex is NOT love; it's just the vehicle we use to express it.
Anyway, if your concern is that your boyfriend is hot for his buddy's girlfriend, communicate that to him. Let him know what you are specifically worried about. Clear, precise, concise communication is essential in any relationship, and especially so where swinging is concerned.
I don't know how old you are, but the website below is for those over 18. It's just a message board, but the content is definitely for a mature audience. If you are under 18, just disregard what I've said; don't even go there. It's not a f**k-fest. It's a recreational activity for mature consenting adults who, generally speaking, are in strong long-term committed relationships. Wait a few years until you have some more life experience under your belt. You'll enjoy it more.
2007-01-19 11:42:39 · answer #2 · answered by intuition897 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't need anyone's advice or permission to be worried. But if swinging ain't in your repertoire of things to try, then dump bf and move on.
He's not going to stop wanting you to swing too, so forget changing him. So either you have to change or accept the fact that you two aren't meant to be together.
Good luck
2007-01-18 21:43:06 · answer #3 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can answer this!!
2007-01-18 21:43:26 · answer #4 · answered by mustanglady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you think it cool why not
2007-01-18 21:41:45 · answer #5 · answered by rickkritcher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋