I had no clue she wanted me to mop her floors, dust her do-dads. HOWEVER i always was nice, whenever we ate over i helped with the dishes. I use her washer and drier. ONe night she comes home (just about thirty minutes after I had). I was outside with my husband working on my mother in law's sister's truck, and so we go inside. Suddenly she's standing in front of my husband and yelling at him, "BROOKE GOT OFF AT THREE! WHY WASN"T SHE HERE COOKING!" I walk calmly in and ask what was I supposed to cook? She flings out her arms, "ANYTHING!" I had been in town all day, sure i got off at three, but i wasn't home. My father in law tried to run away, my husband left to go over to their house . He was gone for hours. She threw a temper, said all sorts of nasty things to my husband about me, called everyone awful names, and hurt everyone's feelings. All because she wanted the floors moped and things dusted. Happens once a yr. Mental problem? or just a jerk...?
2007-01-18 12:53:09 · 14 answers · asked by justkiddingu 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't live in the same house. I live next door.
2007-01-18 13:01:08 · update #1
Rent is crazy in the place i live. It was the cheepest house we could find.
2007-01-18 13:12:11 · update #2
She is just very controlling and it doesn't help that your husband complains to her about you. Tell him to find someone else to vent to (maybe to his brother) he is just adding fuel to her fire.
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2007-01-18 13:00:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
As much as you want to yell at her DONT. One of you HAS to be the adult, dont expect her to be (for obvious reasons).
The best way is to keep your boundaries in tact. One of the biggies is going over to each other's places. Dont go over to her house uninvited, like its your house or treat yourself to their food or what not. Make sure that she does not enter your house uninvited either. Get your own washer and dryer.
You do not need to stay around when she is yelling, moreso if its some negative things about you. Just walk away back to your house since its right next door. Do not do what she yellingly asks you to do, otherwise you give her the *pass* to do this again in the future. But if she asks nicely AND you have time to do so, please help her.
This might be a little difficult to take at first, but if you stay in this unchanged, you are contributing to half of the problem. You dont have control over anything she does, but you do have control over what you do. So stick up for yourself by keeping your boundaries! Good luck!
2007-01-21 01:54:23 · answer #2 · answered by Lilikoi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm with Cliff on this one.
Mine is a head case. She says things that dont make sense, she is offensive, rude, and slaps! (example.. we saw her last week, I yawned, she smacked me in the shoulder as hard as she could and yelled WAKE UP in my face.. like.. THANKS)..
I stay as far away as I possibly can. She just doesnt get it that her behavior is inappropriate. I would not go to her house anymore. If she's that ignorant in her behavior and speaks poorly of you, insist to your husband you will have none of it and if it continues you refuse to see her anymore. And I wouldnt blame you. I'm at that point myself.
My MIL has got to have some sort of a mental problem and I honestly think she's like the kid that gets to 10th grade and cant read... no one wants to deal with her, so they keep passing her along. One day soon, I will snap...
If your husband and your FIL wont deal with her when she's behaving like this, let her have it. Daughters in law all over the world will be impressed.. and we'll thank you.
Good luck. I know its awful.. and I cant imagine living NEXT DOOR... wow! At least mine is 3hrs away!
2007-01-18 13:12:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would like to know how your husband responds to her when she treats 'you' this way!
He should stand up to her and defend you 'to her face'.
Your mother-in-law is a control freak', and you need to avoid her
as much as possible..
And 'who' in God's name said YOU had to mop her floors and do her dusting.
If you do it just to be nice and to help her out, then she's an UN-
grateful b****, and you need to 'stop' doing anything for her.
I can assure you, this won't get any better, it will only get worse
as long as you 'let' her treat you like this!!
You can't walk on a doormat if there isn't one there'!
Think about it!!
2007-01-18 17:06:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she has a mental problem that nobody's wanted to address EVER and she has been allowed to become this way thinking it's normal. And so has everybody else in her life, however much they don't really like it.
Since nobody knows what she really thinks or feels on a daily basis, you wouldn't really know if it's truly once-a-year or just saved up and being thrown out when it reaches boiling point.
But i'm so sorry for you - at least my MIL is on meds for this. Granted, she STILL has a way of putting a guilt trip on us if we don't offer to clean up the dishes or send a thank-you card...
2007-01-18 13:02:31 · answer #5 · answered by Cliff's Living Legacy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've lived with my inlaws...ick! Anyway she's a freak. If she expected something done or you to put things into your daily routine like scrub the floor and stuff she should of said something. Maybe she spoke to your husband about it and he was just being nice by listening to her and never told you what she said. I hope he stood up for you.
It is way too stressful to live like that. You need to get out of there, with or with out your husband.
2007-01-18 13:01:12 · answer #6 · answered by Tasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be both.
My stepdad suffers from BiPolar disorder and can get like that. With BiPolar, it's like flipping on a switch..or their Dr. Jekyl one minute and Mr. Hyde the next.
Sounds like this lady is taking advantage of your submissiveness. You need to stand up to her and tell her off. At least that's what I would do. I don't take sh*t from people, you shouldn't either.
2007-01-18 13:03:06 · answer #7 · answered by Voice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mother-in-laws can be hard to deal with. Talk to your husband first and tell him how you feel. Sounds a bit on the mental side to me. I don't think you should be expected to cook and clean etc.....If she wants to act like that keep your distance. You don't need it!
2007-01-18 12:57:43 · answer #8 · answered by chemky1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would "suggest" that you tell her since it is her house and not yours to do her own floors or hire a maid. The woman is nuts.
As far as being bi-polar, she isnt. Bi-polar people have this happen more than once a year. I know this for I am bi-polar.
2007-01-18 13:05:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she's just not a very considerate person. If this is the first outburst maybe she just had a lot on her mind and took it out on you. Hope things calm down for you there.
2007-01-18 13:01:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the priority is ur MIL feels very lonely, u might desire to get her to connect some communities of activities for senior citizen then u can see the modifications. purely think of that she's ur mom and not ur MIL which will make u experience that u might desire to guard her reason that's ur accountability. it is common for elderly human beings to act that way that's not that she desires to devour 5 situations expensive, she's bored, some human beings while they're bored or lonely they practice it by eating alot of foodstuff.
2016-10-07 09:14:17 · answer #11 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋