do abusive parents end up living a lonely elderly life?

Answer 1

I sure hope they all do. My dad did. No one to mourn or bury him. Too bad, but he paid the piper.

Answer 2

My father was abusive to his wife and 6 sons while I was growing up. We hated him for along time, but I think he realized what he had done and seen the error of his ways--although he would NEVER admit to it. He has mellowed over the years and has basically been a pretty nice guy--still gruff, but he has learned to hug his sons and grandchildren and say "I love you." It also helps that he doesn't drink anymore.
The flip side of my father's abuse was that he DID take interest in his kids' activities. He coached little league, attended football games and plays, and whenever we needed any financial help he was always there. He was always very generous on birthdays and Christmas--still is! So, basically, my father was an abusive ****** when he was drinking; now that he no longer drinks, he's a pretty decent guy. He is 73, not in the greatest health, still has his wife of almost 49 years and is most certainly NOT alone--even though the consensus would be that he SHOULD be.

Not to say we don't still have problems with him--some of you saw my question about my dad telling his grandson that going to a Chinese boy's birthday party meant that he would get only rice to eat! We are still trying do do damage control from THAT one!

So, if an abuser is capable of contrition and change, then the child should not punish them in his/her old age.

Answer 3

Some abusive parents end up having companionship in their final years by by manipulating others to help them. Not necessarily their own kids. A lot of them have always been lonely.

Answer 4

I would say yes. I think they are lonely regardless, confused, depressed, and probably many other things that you or I will never know (unless we end up being one).

Most of the ones I know are socially inept, shut in and misers, they seem to like it that way, but are miserable.

Abuse seems to be a violent way to expel all their feelings, and they know no other way to make themselves feel better about the weak, terrified human being they are inside.

Answer 5

Of course. What do you think - the kids they abused are going to flock around them in their old age? Karma is a beautiful thing.

Answer 6

that depends on the type of abuse. if they have spent a lifetime convincing the child that without them they are doomed to fail then no the kid would probably never leave home.
if on the other hand they were just mean to the kid then yes probably

Answer 7

I'm not sure how my parents will end up. They'll receive what they deserve in a way that hurts them the most.

Answer 8

One can only hope that they do. The pendulum always swings back.

Answer 9

Probably unless they change

Answer 10

Not necessarily.