I've been dating my boyfriend for a year. He has a child. He was with his ex for a two of months, they split for one month, then had a one night stand and she got pregnant - this is all before I came on to the scene. My boyfriend's child lives at home with the mother and he has his child 3 days a week. He speaks to his ex at least 2/3 times a day. When I've over heard the conversations he has with her, it's been about his child (he also speaks to his child)... the child is too young to speak (the odd word, like dad; love you etc..) and they also speak about their personal lives. If he has chosen not to be with her why does he have so much involvement? Why cant they speak to each other when he picks his child up or if there is an emergency? He sometimes walks out of the room to speak to her. In fact he speaks to her more often the he does with me! (We don't live together)... My question is... should he have so much contact with the mother of his child?
2007-01-18 12:47:39 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
He must do this to raise the child right. Don't be involved with a man who has a child with someone else. Hold out for and marry a guy who's been more careful managing his life, preparing to make a good one with you.
2007-01-18 13:25:20 · answer #1 · answered by cassandra 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband was kinda like that with his sons mother. They were married four months and only because she was pregnant. When i came along we were living together and they talked alot. I finally had to say it made me uncomfortable now he only talks to her when im in the room. He should yes have regular contact with his child but not the childs mother. Tell him how you feel and he may surprise you by being very understanding and terminate the long convos with the ex. I wish you luck!
2007-01-18 20:57:27 · answer #2 · answered by J&A 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She IS the mother of his child. They have a connection and you need to either get used to it or leave. They are on good terms, which, sadly, a lot of Exes with kids are not and the kid gets stuck in the middle. If you try to tell him he can't talk to his Ex he will dump you faster than last week's garbage.
2007-01-18 21:10:31 · answer #3 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
obviously you don't have kids or you would understand how much of his child's life he is missing. They will only be this age for a short while and the milestones fly past without most of them being seen by the parents, heck he should be calling her more in my opinoin! Good going guy for being a great dad (a really rare thing in this world)
2007-01-18 20:54:31 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sound to me like it may be something still there. Contact need only be about the child and definitely if there is an emergency. the discussion of personal lives is not necessary. If I were you I would ask him about this and also let him know that it makes you uncomfortable.
2007-01-18 20:54:26 · answer #5 · answered by KayKay 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know it bothers you, but the closer they are, the better it is for the baby. You should talk to him because it's not good to stifle feelings when you're in a realtionship with someone, but you also need to realize that his bond with her is stronger than his bond to you. Of course this can make a gal jealous, but remember, he chooses to be with you, not her, every day. Recognize your feelings and deal with them in the healthiest way that you can. They may have something together that you and he don't share, but you and he have something that she doesn't share - a future! Work to cultivate that! Instead of trying to weaken their bond by pressuring him to talk to her less, just focus on trying to strengthen your bond with him through love, honesty, trust, and most of all, time.
2007-01-18 21:14:46 · answer #6 · answered by Emily O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to stay on good terms with her and he needs to talk to his child, but you make sure you have a conversation with him where you express that you are uncomfortable with him discussing his personal life with her, but you have to be prepared for the worst. He may not care if you are uncomfortable with it.
2007-01-18 21:05:02 · answer #7 · answered by KK1986 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will ALWAYS be this way...yes he should have all this contact. I speak with my husband during the day while he's at work, at least once about our son. He calls in to check at least once about how his day is.
If you can't handle this, you should get out of the relationship....it may never change.
2007-01-18 20:52:39 · answer #8 · answered by jm1970 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to say yes. u should be happy that he is taking responsability in his childs life. there is not a whole lot of guys that would do that.if u are not a mother you would not understand.
2007-01-18 20:53:25 · answer #9 · answered by lizjaclyn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
His first priority in life should be his child, so it;s great that he and his ex get along so well. It's great he's so involved.
2007-01-18 20:56:37 · answer #10 · answered by Melissa 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋