Don't Know Why It's So Hard...?

Question

I am a 19 year old female. The new semester at school just started and I'm miserable. The very thought of school just makes me anxious and unhappy. It's like, I'm there six hours a day fighting through crowds of people, feeling alone and awkward, just looking forward to going home. But I'm not coming home to anything. I am just really depressed and feeling hopeless. My father, my best friend in the whole world, died last summer. He was the only one who made the world hopeful to me. I am just sick of feeling so alone, judged, and unhappy. I went to a psychologist for a while, but he was too expensive. I don't believe in medication. So what do I do? How do I make it through the school day when my overwhelming instinct is to run home without stopping?! (I'm in college)

Answer 1

It sounds like you're still grieving for your father, which is totally understandable, and if anyone tries to tell you have a chemical imbalance causing depression when your father died less then a year ago they are idiots. (Sorry, pet peeve) If you live in the northern hemisphere this is the worst time of the year for grief and depression, between the cold and the short days, and after the holidays are over it's hard to find anything to look forward to.

Talking to other people who knew your father may help you, talk about his life, remember the good times, the embarrassingt imes, the silly times. If you can't find anyone to talk to, try writing a personal biography of him. Start with your earliest memories of him, and write about your life together.
Some people may try to tell you that you need to let go. They're right and their wrong. You don't need to let go of you memories, or your love, and you don't need to say good bye, only 'until we meet again.' You will eventualy need to learn to let go of the grief and pain. But it isn't something that can be rushed.

It's possible that the reason you want to go homeis because either it reminds you of your father, or subconsciously you're still expecting him to be there. It might help to carry with you something that reminds you of him. Of the good memories.

It may help to take a weekend off, and go on a short trip, visit friends you havne't seen in a while, go to the theater, drive to the seashore, just something different, a break from routine.

There are some basic everyday things that can help improve your mood and maybe make the days a bit easier.

getting regular exercise will give you a huge boost in mood, even just a fifteen minute walk a day will make a big difference.

this can tie in well with exercise, the more time you spend in the sun, the better you'll feel Getting fresh air is good to, but justing next to a window at lunch is a simple change that can have a huge effect.

there are few thing that effect the mind and emotions more quickly and effectively then scent. If you don't have a black thumb, try growing a pot of flowers whose scent you enjoy. There are a lot of aromatherapy oils that are very good for boosting a mood, with related, several of them are also good for miagraines. If you do get aromatherapy oils, go to a massage supply dealer, or other professional supplier to be sure that the oils you're getting are pure, and don't try mixing them. A couple drops in the bath tub, in a pot of boiling water on the stove, or set in an oil diffuser like you can get at incense shops will be enough.

I'm sorry for your loss, and I wish you all the best.

Answer 2

Music...I went through the same sort of ordeal a few years back. I am 20 now. I would have died without music. Find some bands that you really like and just get lost in the music and the lyrics. Green Day - their first 2 CD's are great, a lot of lyrics that one can relate too. Also, anti-flag for me, they put the world into perspective. That's what really helped me get through it. Therapists and medication did nothing for me. I had to make it on my own. Just never forget the good times you had with the ones you love. Sometimes, follow your instinct, sometimes it is good to just break down and just have an alone day at home. Honestly I took my whole 11th grade year off from high school, still graduated with my class, but it was a good break from that mess.

Answer 3

ok, i joined some clubs, if you live in the dorm go to some of the events. also go out to meet people. find a friend boy or girl. you could make this easier by getting on meds but that is up to you. i know that being at school is hard ..i never wanted to board and my parents came down like 6 times in 10 weeks, things got better with time, and making new friends.

Answer 4

Go to your school psychologist. They are free. Change something about how you live. Dramatic change in your look. I'm sorry about your loss, dear. Life is beautiful and you are too. Find something to motivate you and give you thatt drive. It also takes time. So be patient. Same age.