We have been dating on and off for 5 years. As of last year we finally got serious and moved in together after doing the long distance thing for quite some time. A year later now we moved from our apartment to our condo. My girlfriend has to be doing something constantly and drives me crazy. During the week I like to work, go workout and then relax and watch some TV before going to bed. It couldn't be more the opposite for her, she needs to go do something all the time, I'm sick of going to the mall 15 min away so she can try on a skirt that may or may not fit, I'm sorry but me going to buy a DVD is different, at least I know what I'm getting ahead of time and its what I want. I just like to chill during the week, I'm physically and mentally exhausted. We fight about it all the time, I can't hardly breathe with this small space she gives me, I was an only child for 10 years, I like being independent. Granted, good times are good, but the bad is just CRAP!
2007-01-18 12:15:18 · 10 answers · asked by Jason 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You should watch a movie called "The break up" with Jennifer Aniston...good movie, even better message
2007-01-18 12:20:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Man this can get really ugly. I was in the same situation in terms of housing and personality types. You need a break to figure things out. Right now you are focusing on the bad, but when its over, its really different. You should stay at a friend's place to think things through. There was a reason why you chose to live together, and if you don't see a future I would say you guys sell and move on. Living together will create complacency and you guys will really turn into roomates as opposed to lovers. Think about it first before you decide to quit.
2007-01-18 21:04:08 · answer #2 · answered by Need Answers 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds familiar... I've been with my GF for 5 years, and we moved into a condo together a 5 months ago. We haven't been fighting that much, and that's probably b/c were not together that much. Between college courses, work, gym time and intramurals, we're only together nights and weekends. We also have seperate bathrooms, that helps...
From what I know about your situation, I'd say definitely stand your ground and keep your TV/relaxing time. Find ways to stay out of the condo, and if you haven't, tell her exactly what you typed here. Tell her "time apart makes the heart grow fonder" lol Hopefully she'll understand
2007-01-18 20:38:57 · answer #3 · answered by Slyder 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try getting couples counseling from your church (if you're the church-going types) or a professional marriage counselor. I know you're not married yet, but it can be an invaluable resource for conflict resolution
It sounds like you both need a little space to be yourselves. You don't have to do everything together, especially now that you're living together. Is there a reason she needs you to go to the mall with her to get a skirt (or she needs to go with you to get a DVD)?
Sit down with her and tell her what you need in a non-confrontational manner. Use a lot of 'I' statements. "I need more downtime. I need some mental (and perhaps physical) space. I feel .. . . etc" Try to make it clear that it's no reflection on her, but you are clearly (to me) and introvert.
Encourage her to spend time with girlfriends and have girls' nights out. She may be feeling a little trapped herself.
Hope this helps.
2007-01-18 20:27:04 · answer #4 · answered by LX V 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey bud, if i were you, i think i would get out now. you have been on and off for 5 years... and you moved in together... nah i wouldn't have done that. you guys have opposite personalities by the sounds of things. she controls you, you should get to do what you want. i am an only child too, and i like my space. no one bosses me around. i would either tell her right to her face to leave you alone and quit demanding things from you or just tell her to change or there will be consequences. i know that sounds really threatening but sometimes that's how its gotta be for things to get thru to people
2007-01-18 20:22:30 · answer #5 · answered by hotvballchick07 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you guys should sit down and talk about the fights that you guys are doing and COMPROMISE. Relationships are about compromise and after dating on and off for five years, I should hope that you have learned a bit about compromising. You are a man and she is a woman and you guys have different way of thinking about things.
If you don't learn how to compromise with each other to stop the fighting, I suggest that you seek professional help or break up.
2007-01-18 20:34:00 · answer #6 · answered by John C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess I don't have to tell you that you made a tremendous mistake. Don't EVER buy a house with a woman unless you are stable in a marriage.
Wow - I guess you should figure out how to sell your interest in the property and get out. This is going to be a very expensive lesson, but hopefully one you will learn.
TRY BEFORE YOU BUY!!!!!!
FP
2007-01-18 20:19:44 · answer #7 · answered by F. Perdurabo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being in a healthy relationship means wnating to accomopdate the other, but it's a two way street. The fact is you are NOT living alone, and you may have to try couples counseling.
2007-01-18 20:19:42 · answer #8 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i feel sorry for ya you should go see a lawyer and sell the condo
2007-01-18 20:28:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sell your girlfriend. Keep the condo.
2007-01-18 20:18:51 · answer #10 · answered by Hank Hill 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋