Bf says: "If I didn't love you, I would continue dating you, do you understand?" What to do to stay together?

Question

Been dating 9 months, been great. He gave 3 reasons for breaking up: (1) Love. he loves me, therefore he wants to break up with me. Basically, he feels unworthy of me so bad about continuing to date me, and would break up as an act of love. (2) Time. He wants us to spend time doing other things, and grow while apart. (3) Timing. He wants us to break up while "our relations are still beautiful"/before we start disliking each other (Something I doubt will ever need to happen). I know he is being sincere, he insists that those are his reasons. From the beginning he has shown signs of being insecure about himself. He started dating me by saying "I Don't feel proportionate/worthy of you, but I want to date you." I already told him his reasons don't make any sense. He wrote back "The reasons for thinking lets break up are what I said just before. I am honestly so absolutely grateful to you. I think it is better if we break up." What should I do to stay together? He is truthful

Answer 1

Let's go through this step by step...
1) Him wanting to break up with you because he loves you, is a little confusing and frankly, odd. He might feel like you are too good for him, but obviously you love and accept him for who he is since your relationship has lasted 9 months. He needs to accept the fact that you accept him. He's hurting both of you by backing out when both of you have obvious feelings for each other!
2) If he still wants to spend time with you while you're growing apart, it's going to be harder. It's going to be difficult to transform your relationship from a romantic one to a friendship, but I very much encourage it. Just don't hang out at places that you went to/hung out at while you were dating, because then you'd always be reminded of those times. Hang out as other places together, and hang out with each other's groups of friends doing something on the weekend or whatever.
3) Your boyfriend seems pretty insecure about himself, and he seems to have fear of getting close to people (doesn't want to get close to you, because then if you started to not like him as much, he'd be crushed), which is why he just wants to end it while things are still good. Personally, I wouldn't pursue a relationship with someone like this because it just puts so much stress on the relationship, but maybe you can help him out. Be open with him and let him know that you don't have to end it now because it's going well. Enjoy it and stay together because it's going well! If or when the relationship looks like it's not going well and you both want out, talk about it instead of having a messy breakup. You have to reassure him now though that if or when you break up, it won't be messy. Agree that if you ever break up, you'll respect each other's decisions, support each other, and agree to have no hard feelings against the other. That's the best way to break up, and you'll probably be able to stay friends if you do it that way. Sorry this was so long, I just have been in your position so I can really identify with you here! Best of luck for the 2 of you!

Answer 2

Thats not right, he sounds UNSECURE, he's trying to talk himself out of it for some reason...very strange! If you really love each other nothing else matters, you can conquer anything and everything together. I would make him tell me why he's being so selfish...or should I say unselfish?

Answer 3

Let him know that you love him no matter what. He might think of himself as unworthy, but if you truly love him, you'll honestly think he's perfect.

Answer 4

stay with him if u like him

make him understand that you make your own decisions and you want him and u choose to be with him

or it might just be "game" and he is looking for an excuse to break up (probably not, but it is possible)

Answer 5

sounds like a retard wtf