on the school holidays my husbands niece comes to sleep and play with our youngest daughter.
i usually have to go out to work during the day so as he works from home he is here to look after the girls. but when i return the girls have had nothing to eat. (he feeds himself) he says it is not his responsiblity and i disagree. he puts the blame on my daughter and says it is her responsibility. but i know that when word gets back to his side of the family they will all blame me as not looking after the neice. i have told hubby how i feel and all he says is "who cares what they think and that he will continue to do the same'. my brother in law is a single dad (week on week off) and is not approachable to tell him. i threatened to tell him that in future he needs to leave food for her. but hubby arranges things without my knowledge. what can i do?
2007-01-18 11:52:28 · 41 answers · asked by elly 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
It's absolutely his responsiblity to feed the kids if he is the only adult in the house, escpecially if he's the one making the arrangements. However, if your daughter is big enough to make sandwiches or something for them, you may want to encourage her to do so, so they don't go hungry.
2007-01-18 11:58:35 · answer #1 · answered by T Time 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he's taking the responsibility of having 2 children at the house when he's the only adult around, then he's accepting the ENTIRE responsibility of caring for both those children.. which definately includes feeding. If the niece is invited, it's your responsibility to feed her while she's there during meal times. If it's a "babysitting" type deal, then the girl's parents should bring food or money for food.. unless he pays for the care and then obviously meal times should be covered under that expense.
2007-01-18 11:58:00 · answer #2 · answered by Candikane 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course your husband is not legally obliged to feed his niece, but you may explain to him that in the spirit of hospitality and in respect to his brother, and ultimately for humanitarian reason, he should provide food for the girls considering the given situation that no other available person to do such. Reversing the situation what would be your husband's reaction if he will the one in place of his niece. Time is changing, a little help we extended to others might be a big help to us in future. Not all persons are being given good opportunity to help others, some are incapacitated by various problems, your husband is lucky for having such chances of helping his niece. Maybe it is more proper to say that feeding your husband's niece as an act of generousity rather than a responsibility. To make it easy for your husband the next time around, you may assist him by preparing in advance necessary things before going to work.
2007-01-18 12:40:09 · answer #3 · answered by randy f 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your question is misleading b/c you say the niece comes to 'play' implying that she is young, but then you say that your husband says it's your daughter's responsibility to feed them, which implies they are teens???? I would say either way your hubby is responsible b/c he makes the plans for the niece to stay as well as the fact he is the one home during that time. He is being selfish and acting like a spoiled brat. You need to tell him that she cannot stay unless he is prepared to take care of her when he is home w/ her. No need to be the martyr.
2007-01-18 12:15:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a shame you're married to a man who lacks normal human decency. You obviously care about the kids, so make them some lunches ahead of time, and snacks, and let them know what and when to eat. Give up trying to change your husband. He's determined to be dysfunctional. Concentrate on what the girls need, not whose responsiblity it is. I'm sorry you have to deal with it, but you'll feel better, and no one will blame anybody.
2007-01-18 11:58:25 · answer #5 · answered by Bad Kitty! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ask him how he would feel if ur daughter went to a babysitter and at the end of the day when he picked her up he asked her, did u eat today? and she replied NO. yes if u r the adult left in care of a minor its actually concidered neglect if u dont feed the child. now if u would ask ur brother-in-law to leave food with the child that she can eat on her own, or be fed when she gets hungry, that may help. i would suggest letting ur brother-in-law know and seeing if he wants to find a daycare or sitter for her. it could verywell become a leagal matter for u and ur husband if ur brother-in-law is the kind of person that would press charges against u, not to mention if he is not feeding YOUR daughter. If they r minors its very serious
2007-01-18 12:06:07 · answer #6 · answered by Ken Kaniff 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
any caregiver is responsible for the feeding and care of those whose care he/she is charged with!! your hubby has a screw loose. does he feed your daughter? that's totally insane to say it's not his responsibility. sounds like he has issues that he's not addressing. if he resents having to "babysit" his own child and his neice, then maybe you should look into daycare, but let him know, it'll have to come out of his pocket too, and his responsibility will include the delivery and possibly pickup of the children from the daycare center. give him THAT ultimatum, no other options. stand firm and stay strong. if he's still unwilling, you should confront him and make him realize how important this is to you, if not to him. hope this helped you. GOOD LUCK!!
2007-01-18 11:58:57 · answer #7 · answered by vrandolph62 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well first of all it is your husband fault why feed hes self and not the girls thats just weaird and second i would ask your brother in law for food since you have her because it ent fair on your or your husbandand if he cant be bothered feeding his own neice why does he arrange things to have her you need to have a word with him because it isn't your fault he arranges to have her so he should feed her and ask his brother to bring round the food or the monny towards it so go and put your foot down and let him know whats right
2007-01-18 12:01:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your hubby is being a big baby. It is his responsiblity to feed all the children that are left in his care. You probably do when you are home so, he should be expected to take care of the children properly as well.
2007-01-18 12:55:42 · answer #9 · answered by KK1986 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband sounds like a big fat jerk!!!! Just leave something the kids can heat up in the microwave, or pack cold lunches for them. By the way how old are your daughter and niece?? I cannot believe your husband is such a moron!!!!
2007-01-19 07:09:14 · answer #10 · answered by Angela C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋