My 7-Year-Old is DISGUSTING!! What Would YOU Do?

Question

My 7 year old is perfectly potty trained, but lately has started doing the nastiest thing EVER. Whenever I discipline him (no dessert for lying to me, for example), he says "FINE! Whatever!" and then, later, I'll find tied up Safeway bags all over the living room with something in them. I pick them up, and I kid you not, he TOOK A SHlT and PlSSED in those bags and tied them up, & tossed them in the living room for me to find. He's been doing this for a while! I consulted a psychologist AND his doctor about this, and they just said he was testing me. He still has his normal bathroom habits. He only does this when I discipline him. What would you do if your seven year old was DELIBERATELY doing this? When I asked him why he does this, he says "Because you're an asshoIe when you take away my video games or my dessert." ( <-- Lovely language courtesy of his K-8th grade school.) I cannot deal with this, I asked him to express his dissatisfaction with me in other ways. He's not a dog.

My husband tries to talk to him about it, and asks him to please not do that. I have never spanked him, are you sure that's what I should do?

My husband tries to talk to him about it, and asks him to please not do that. I have never spanked him, are you sure that's what I should do?

My son is already on ADHD medication, and it's still helping him tremendously (in terms of schoolwork & hyperactivity). I have a feeling it's something else, but all the professionals I talk to act like this is just a phase!

I ask him to help me throw all the bags in the dumpster, sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't..

Answer 1

If you were a good parent you would have spanked him long ago. and spanked him every time he did it untill he stops. taking away things does not work as you have seen.

Answer 2

Has your son been feeling "left out" or "jealous" for any reason like a new baby in the house or family ? Has he been teased or ashamed about something in school ? I s there a "bully" messing with him ? I would see this psychologist again and check with his teachers etc. Next time he leaves you a present behind the couch,have him remove it and clean up the area with your supervision,but don't carry on about the nasty mess,treat it as not a big deal,etc. He may be reacting to your show of disgust,as a attention getter.The cursing and calling you names is for the "shock value" try not react,but remove something he really likes and don't give in,act surprised,but like most kid's say "oh well" & whatever" don't be concerned about it being missing. I've done the "naughty" chair and the floormat thing like the "Nanny" on TV,and it does work,they hate not being your main focus for any amount of time.Please check at school and with the Psych. MD. Good luck. SW RNP PS I'd like to ask Nickbrn 525 a question . You spank or beat a 3yr old that still doesn't have a completely devoloped nervous system to her blaader and bowels,when she has an accident or wet's the bed, maybe until she's 12 ,a well established neurological condition that children are traumatized for life over.Who will spank or punish you when you have an accident because you were too "lazy" to "go" when you had the chance ? If you"re RN shame on you!

Answer 3

O.K. my oldest son was autistic, and we went through some problems like you are having, not the crap in bags, but other things. First remove all bags from the house. Lock them up so only you and your husband can have access to them. Second, discipline is a real tough thing for these children,( Autistic, ADHD etc..) Once you find something that works, stick with it no matter what they did, little or big. Mine was only a bed in the bedroom, If I had the room these kids have, I would be bad all the time so I could get sent to my room. Every kid is different, and you have to keep trying. Also find a good doctor, I looked for a few years before I found the right one. GOOD LUCK

Answer 4

Do NOT spank him. This will only teach him that violence is the way to get what you want. America needs less of that, not more.

Have you tried changing what he eats? This could very well be the answer to your problem, because some kids are allergic to food additives and colors, all the highly sugared foods (processed) and BHT, etc. Many kids who are diagnosed with ADHD need a diet change and vitamins. Not kidding!
There is a program out there called the Fiengold diet, or just google Fiengold. What will come up are instructions on how to go about eliminating many sources of your frustrations. It will tell you why he is belligerent, why he cusses, why he yells. This is the first thing I suggest you try, because you might just see results very quickly.

Believe me, your child doesn't want to be that way, but he's acting out because he doesn't know what is "wrong with him."

Sometimes, you have to be a detective.
You know, he could be using any bags, but why does he use the Safeway bags? Because these are the grocery bags that bring food into the house? What kind of food? Is he telling you that the food isn't as good for him as it could be? In other words, is the food filled with stuff that sets him off?

Also, you have to take a look at what changed when he changed. What was going on his world that created this problem? Children with hyperactivity problems often talk in "code" whether they know it or not. It is the caring mother who will really look at the child's daily environment and history, instead of getting out the belt right away.

I know this is kinda' long, but you need to look at why you blame the school for his cussing problem. This is important, because there are many children at this (or any) school who do not cuss and are belligerent with their parents. I suspect that you've been having a problem for quite awhile and its been building to the point that you can no longer ignore it and hope that it will go away. Have you thought that maybe your child thinks he's an "it"?

Lastly, how do you talk to others about him when he is within hearing distance? Do you talk well of him? Do you express satisfaction of him to other people when he is there, especially if these other people are outside the family?

I know that I am asking you some hard questions. I'm asking you to truly look at your son in a new light. You might think you are at your wit's end, but you're not. If you were, you'd taken him to a facility by now. DON'T be that kind of parent. Silently, your child is begging you to figure it out. Please, for the sake of his (and yours) entire future, figure this out. Hyperactivity is hard, but not impossible.

Answer 5

My suggestion is make taking a dump in a plastic bag mightily inconvenient - I think the abuse he is showing you warrants almost any recourse within the confines of the law. Seriously, this behavior is not normal and is not acceptable. If it were my child, I would probably suspend all pleasure (video games, TV, friends, etc.) for a full week every time he does such a nasty act. I don't mean to sound judgmental, but how did he ever learn to disrespect you so much anyway? What does his father think of all this? Alternatively, you might consider giving him so much Imodium that he can't poop for a week at time.

Answer 6

No dessert, no videogames?? Are you kidding? What kind of lame punishment is that? No wonder he doesn't listen. I like the idea of you telling him to throw out the bags, but make it more cruel. Throw the bags into in his room, and tie them up so he can't get rid of it.
Or you can, either spank him really hard. Scream at him, and do something harsh. You may regret it, but so will he.

PS: Please no doing, "No tv for a week" or stuff like that. Kids don't take that seriously.

Answer 7

If he's learning to call you an asshole from his school, you can try to put him in another school with kids who are younger. It's sad, but kids think it's cool to start cussing in the fifth grade or around there. That's where I learned to do it.
And what he's doing in those bags is ridiculous. I would never even think to do that. Maybe try a new punishment. He's seven years old. You're the parent, not the other way around. Good luck.

Answer 8

OMG!!! If that were my son I would spank his a*s!!! I don't usually think that spanking is the way to go - but with this - oh yeah! Take all his things away from him and tell him that he can't have nothing back until he stops being disgusting and disrepectful. *** far as the language - wow again - if my son called me an asshole he would get popped right in his mouth, I bet he wont do it again! Be stern and hard because obviously what you are doing is not working.

Answer 9

Instead of disciplining him and allowing him to go to his room, make him sit in a chair in a mutual area of the home where you can see him from different rooms. Then sit down and tell him what he did will not be tolerated and if he wishes to continue in that behavior you will empty his room of everything but a bed until he learns respect and then follow threw. As far as the potty mouth take him to bathroom and wash his mouth out with soap and do it everytime he will stop once he sees you mean business.

Answer 10

Wow. i don't be attentive to what to declare approximately that. it is disgusting. i presumed my son exchange right into a topic. I even have 2 older little ones and from time to time the perfect thank you to handle performing out is to forget approximately them and act like it would not have an influence. they are actually finding for a reaction from you. This habit is worrying. Why could a 7 year previous even have the belief to try this? I actually have a 4 year previous who flips out once I positioned him in outing. yet he nonetheless keeps to be there in his place, he purely cries. If he has a tantrum I purely hug him tight. i assume you ought to consistently self-discipline him for doing the deed in a bag. Make him sparkling it out. If he's mendacity to you and then performing out in a bad way for being disciplined i will declare that he sounds additionally like a spoiled brat. possibly you ought to indulge him much less. Make him delight in what he has. i take advantage of to make my little ones watch a software on poor human beings in a foreign places country as punishment from time to time.

Answer 11

@$$ busting, I agree. This is total disrespect and you need to put the foot down NOW or you are going to have a juvie delinquent monster on your hands. I'd take every blessed thing out of his room including the carpet if this keeps up. You better get a hold of Dr. Phil or go see a counselor of some kind. Where is the DAD in all this???