Is my dad a jerk? Help!?

Question

When I was in kindergarden, my mom and dad divorced. I didn't understand that but I knew something was wrong. My parents wouldn't even talk to eachother. And they would figjht 24/7! and In the fifth grade, my dad decided to move to spain... and now.... several years later, he is in Argentina. And I mean, I have tried telling him that I miss him and It hurts me that he just LEFT me one day... but he just gets mad and yells at me. I love him omre than anything. but I can't help but cry every night. He already has a new wife and I think they will have other kids. I haven't even met her before, and I rarely get to talk to him. He doesn't even do anything to help my mom, and he is always really mean to her. I am just thankful that I have my mom, and that we are so close, but I still really wish my dad would come back, and we could all be happy again. I wish my parents never divorced. My dad's move has made my life hell.

Answer 1

Well cookie, your dad isn't a jerk. He's human and humans have faults. Though I do think that it is incredibly selfish of him to leave his family when you need him, sometimes things are better the way they are. He's not in your life for a reason, him sticking around was toxic. You and your mom are better off. Don't let anything he does effect the way you live your life. I know you miss him, that's only natural. But you can't make someone pay attention to you. You and your mom are close, that's what you need right now. Maybe someday when you accomplish all your dreams, you're father will realize what a mistake he made and regret all the time he didn't spend with you, and how he had nothing to do with the beautiful young woman you've become. If he doesn't his loss. Hold on to your mother, you may not have your father but you have a parent that loves you, which is more than most people can say. Everything happens for a reason, everything will reveal itself in time. Until then turn that frown upside down sweetie, smile be happy. You owe it to yourself, don't let someone else be the reason for your happiness. Love your dad, keep him in your prayers, call him every day if you want. But lean and learn from your mother, she's there. Even ask him if you can visit him every once in a while. But never feel sorry for yourself because your dad's not there. Be strong sweetie. It gets better. Let God fill that void he'll be your father, he'll never leave you. If you ever need to talk I am here. Keep on smiling honey.

Answer 2

+2

Answer 3

Hon I really feel badly for you. But think about what you said....that you wished your parents had never divorced, and then think about he treats your Mom. Surely, you don't want your Mom to have to suffer through a bad marriage.
Your Dad isn't coming back, Sweetie. He's made himself a new life, and eventually your Mom will too. But I suspect he's not quite as big a jerk as he's making himself out to be at this time.
I'm not sure why he left the country, but I'm sure he had his reasons....maybe relatives, etc. He KNEW when he left your Mom that it was unlikely he'd get custody of you; your Mom would have to be really unfit in order for you Dad to get full custody. Perhaps distancing himself (literally and figuratively) from you was his way of coping with absentee parenthood.
Please don't give up on your Dad, Hon. Have you ever asked him if you come come visit...maybe over the summer? Try and keep your conversations with him non-confrontational. Whatever you do...do NOT ask him why he doesn't come home! Divorce is often a sad fact of life, and I hope you can help both your Mom and Dad move on, and I promise...you will too.

Answer 4

I feel a lot like this towards my biological mom. She abandoned me and my dad after I was born, and he raised me for the first 6 yrs of my life. He met my stepmom and I can not tell you how thankful for her I am.

As for my biological mother, she's a b*tch, and to this day still calls trying to blame her shortcomings and everything that went wrong on my dad when he was the one who stayed while she ran.

When I was a kid I would get so mad at her because I wanted her to love me or even WANT me. She never cared, I didn't even get a regular Christmas or even Birthday card, but she would call to boast about her latest boyfriend and how cute his kids were.

Some parents should have never been parents and it breaks the kids hearts. Be so thankful for your mom and let her know you appreciate her because the other person who knows how bad your father is, is her.

Answer 5

why would you want your dad back if he makes you and your mom un-happy??? It's great that you don't have any anger towards your dad but you have to admit that he obviously doesn't want anything with you or your mom. i would rather live in harmony instead of living like cats and dogs all the time. one day when he realizes that he's getting older he will look for you and the love of a daughter but until then keep strong and remember him with the love that you have. One more thing, don't be sad about it, there's worse things in the world that can happen. Just be thankful that you and your mom are alive, the rest is smooth sailing.
Good Luck!

Answer 6

Yes, he is a jerk, he shouldn't have up and left so soon. But some dads do that after a divorce. But you are lucky, you have a close relationship with your mom, when most people today don't have that. If he is willing to treat you like this then he just isn't worth your time worring over. Go get a hobby, and let him realize what wrong he did, Lord knows you've tried to show him.

Answer 7

Honey your dad may be a jerk but things happen for a reason. It is best that your parents aren't together if they didn't get along. That would only make yours and there lives even more miserable if they were to stay together. You can't make your dad change so the only thing you can do is be there for your mom and love her unconditionally cause she is doing the same for you. One day your father will regret what he has done to you and then it will be his lose.

Answer 8

well if you think your dad has made your life a hell what if he stayed and beat your mom or abused both of you that would eb hell. and the sounds of it he is mean and thopughtless about both of you so you really are in a better off situation. some kids dads abuse them and wish their life wasnt a hell. you have no idea what hell woudl be if he stayed adn the srguing got worse to abuse. ok? you love your dad becuase he made you but he hasnt been a good dad and not even now is he? nope hes thoughtless adn selfish with his new life as tho he old one is gone as he knows he made mistakes but karma goes around and some day maybe his wife and new kids will leave him and he will be sad lonely and hurt too. so be glad u got ur mom and shes alive and not having breast cancer and dying as then you would go where? nearest relative - it isnt eacy for her to be alone and think she was ripped off in life. Your dad, he cant own up to his responsiblities. I hope you know that family is those who stick by you and those who are there not the ones who abandon you . you have a life maybe not the perfect one your hoping for but it isnt gonna happen as it isnt meant to be sadly. Make something of your life and when you do and whats his name comes around to be proud and says shes my daughter then you can say in name only as i do not know u really. do i? perhaps you can make a club for kids without dads support group at your school and gather them all to join and chat about it then get it out all your anger and constructively put this energy into helping others like yourself and doing fun things and show the world that single parents can raise a kid ok . maybe you might end up on oprah:-) and get funded to travel all around helping and giving support.. to those who have jerky dads.. in name only wish ya luck hun

Answer 9

I know exactly how you feel. my dad left when i was four. i barely see him once a year, he doesnt send presents on holidays or b-days anymore, and he has a new wife as well. he comes to visitm but spends more time with her than us. and when we do see him, he tries to buy our love. the only difference is that my dad lives in florida while im in nebraska. sorry for telling so much bout me. but i think you should call him and if he doesnt answer, leave a message. if he really loves u, he'll call u back.

Answer 10

Your father has abandoned you, but it is in no way your fault. He is behaving very badly. I'm sorry. Try not to cry over it every night. Write your feelings in a journal. You are worth loving, honey. Too bad he is missing out! I'm glad you have your mom too. Go give her a hug! This is tough on her too. Your father will reap what he is sowing.