was this a bad move?

Question

I am currently trying to hold my ex wife in contempt of court for not allowing me to have my kids on my visitation days. The parenting plan is thurs 6pm to sat 6pm every other week. Today, as a procedure, i went over there to ask if i can have the kids and she let me have them until 7pm tonight but is coming to pick them up and she made me sign a piece of paper saying i would not take them to my house during those hours. The reason she doesnt want them at my house is because she is accusing my stepson of molesting my son, which never happened. Anyways, the paper had the date on it and i made sure she wrote it applys to today only, and that i would stay at my mothers until 7pm when she would pick them up. Now wouldnt i still have grounds to hold her in contempt being that i didnt have them my visitation and not just one hour?

actually=she is picking them up at 6pm...when my visitation starts and she is giving me back her copy of the letter because we wrote two out...so what do yall think about this? I know it was probably a stupid move, but i just wanted to see my kids before all this court stuff started and it might look bad on me if i didnt take them when she let me because then say that she offered to let me take them and i refused

by the way these accusations were proven untrue. She is just jealous of me getting remarried and all that. I took him to a child interviewer because she didnt want to, sounds strange huh? Anyways they are not going to investigate because they have reason to believe not a thing happened as do i

Answer 1

That paper you signed with your ex isn't legally binding anyways. What your wife is doing is wrong, and she should be punished for it.

Answer 2

My husband went through something similar when his ex wife wouldn't allow him to have visitation with his daughter. There were no reasons except his daughter said some things to get sympathy. My husband went along with her idea of visitation while he retained a lawyer and held her in contempt of court. The law was completely on his side. The initial paperwork went before the judge for contempt, but the rest was settled through a mediator which is probably how your case will be handled. If you don't reach an agreement then you will have to go to court. I do suggest when you talk to the lawyer that you put in the contempt papers that your ex, you and your children seek counseling. If your child did say something to her that she took to extreme he might be jealous. My step daughter was jealous that my children live with her daddy and she only gets to visit him. A counselor will be able to get to the bottom of it. If you really want to push the visitation, the sheriff's dept can assist you. However, remember that the cops will be involved and she might say things to your kids. I would advise you to have visitation the way she wants until you file contempt papers and at that point you will be able to resume your regular visitation.

Good luck, I know it is hard. My heart goes out to you.

Answer 3

Although technically the law is on your side, doing what is "legal" and doing what is right are sometimes two very different things. While you may be able to use the law to force your ex-wife to have your kids visit you, it is likely that doing so will further damage your relationship with your ex-wife, and in all likelihood, also damage your relationship with your kids.

One thing that is disturbing about custody battles is that usually, the two parents are hashing out visitation rights with little to no consideration of what the children want. Do the children want to visit you, and your ex-wife is preventing it? Or are the children afraid to visit you (or possibly not afraid but indifferent) and you're trying to force them to spend time with you?

If the children want to visit you (and I mean they really want it, not just you telling yourself that they want to) then I think it would be worthwhile to pursue this farther. However, it's always best if you can resolve this without involving the courts. Probably the best thing you can do at this point is to figure out what is going on with the molestation issue.

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The molesting issue is very serious, and even if you don't think it happened, you need to take it very seriously. Children rarely make up stories about being molested--it is much more common that children will be molested and will not tell anyone for a very long time. It's also very common for people close to the molesters, including their family and friends, to be in denial of what happened.

I'm not saying your stepson actually molested anyone--but I'm saying you should take the accusation seriously, and you should be open to the possibility that it did happen. One thing you could do is to try to talk to your kids about what happened--let them know that they are going to be safe no matter what, that you would not let anyone hurt them, and that they can be 100% honest with you--that if someone did anything wrong, they should feel comfortable telling you about it, and they shouldn't be afraid of retaliation. At the same time you want to be open to the possibility that it didn't happen--so don't ask leading questions.

It's hard for me to say for sure what's going on here--I don't know the dynamics of your family, or your relationship with your kids and your ex-wife. But I do think that you need to approach this situation very carefully. You should be open to the possibility that molesting actually happened. Also you should try to avoid involving the law if at all possible--try to reach a mutual agreement with your ex-wife. And please, the most important thing: CONSIDER WHAT THE CHILDREN WANT. Don't allow them to get caught up in a battle between you and your ex-wife that's not about them--find out what they want and then make that possible for them.

Answer 4

Stick to the schedule my man...stick to the schedule. It's all about control sometimes, and that includes the Blackmail. If she really thought that the abuse took place by your stepson, you wouldn't be on the computer right now!
The courts will not look down on you for not taking your children when she makes you or insists that you do. Most importantly, the visitation schedule also creates a routine and consistency for the children. Take them for additional time, but only on your terms, and NEVER out of fear of what "she" can do.

Answer 5

If she suspects some form of abuse then she is well within her rights to limit visitation until the matter can be investigated. You can SAY your step son isn't doing what he is accused of but I doubt you're with him 24/7 and if I were the visitating parent I would want to be sure my biolgocial child was not in harms way rather than act like a spoiled brat and take my ex to court over it.

Answer 6

The thing is until you clear up the issue with your stepson she really has more control.........was child services called? If so did they investigate your home / stepson? Get things cleared through the proper channels so that you give her no ammunition to say that you are endangering the kids......make sure your stepson (and your kids) doesn't pay for this divorce, if what you say is true and he did nothing, the accusation can still be damaging to him, and depending on the kids ages they can be manipulated to believe things happened to them that didn't and this can be just as damaging as if it really happened.

Answer 7

You 2 are going to have to work this out and preferably by yourselves outside of courts. You are tied together for life through these kid and it's only hurting them when you two are fighting. Kids know and it hurts them to hear you 2 complain about each other. Try and get along better without filing contempt of court orders.

Answer 8

IF there is ANY ACCUSATION of molestation, I would NEVER let my child near the person they were accusing.

And, you signed the paper saying it was ok for the child to be with you only until 7pm.

You really should have contacted your attorney. I would say you've given up the visitation on your own accord.

Answer 9

Yes you could get her for contempt, but if I thought my child was at risk I wouldn't care about visitation schedules. The judge might see it her way. I would try very hard to work it out outside of court.

Answer 10

One thing you definately have to do is take your son to the doctor to get his areas checked out, because you are going to need that proof that your son is not being molested. She will probably bring that up in court and you need to have something that will back you up. Otherwise, she may try to keep you from having your son by saying that in court.

Answer 11

If you are supposed to have your son continuously from thur 6pm to Sat 6pm then yes that is completely contempt of court!!