My 4 year old hates doing her homework, I need suggestions!?

Question

My 4 year old hates doing her homework. Actually, the only part she hates is writing her name. The teacher writes it in yellow marker and she is supposed to trace it. She does pretty good with it, but is very reluctant to do it. Now, her teacher is not tracing anymore because it's time for them to start doing it themselves and my daughter refuses to do it. I want to be able to help her and for her to not get so frustrated. Any suggestions for parents who went through this?

Thanks for the answers so far. I've tried the game thing and she just won't have any part of it. I don't want to offer her a reward because I feel like I'm bribing her and then what happens when I cut off the reward after she starts doing it and she goes back to not writing her name? I do positively praise her too when she does do it and she's very proud of herself, but the next night, she refuses again.

To Cassandra:
What world are you living in psycho? What makes you such an expert on child development? Show me a study that says that she would know how to write her name if she stayed home with me as opposed to her going to school? She was at home with me until the age of 3 by the way and she was tested and they thought she would benefit more in a school enviornment. Get a life and stop preaching to others...

Answer 1

Okay, first of all, don't tell your child she will look stupid in front of anyone, this will only make matters worse. As a Pre-K teacher I see things like this alot. You might want to schedule a conference with the teacher or observe the class. If there is another child who is getting alot of praise for being the "star listener" or the smartest or the best (you get the idea) alot of times the other kids will become discouraged and stop trying. I have seen some children give up easily after one or two times if the teacher does not encourage them or if they are told the way they are doing it is wrong. Encourage her to keep practicing, but don't force it. She may be having some fine motor skills trouble. Of course,she could also be going through a stubborn phase. Definately check into it and make sure there isn't some kind of problem at school.

Answer 2

I have to agree with some others...a 4 year old should not have homework. There are studies out that are showing that we are pushing our kids too hard and the kids are burning out at 10 years old. At that age, she should be learning socialization skills and playing and developing their imagination. We made a conscious decision to send our daughter to a Waldorf preschool where the specifically stress anything BUT reading and writing...and now our 4 year old is starting to want to do those things on her own. We are going to wait until she is 5 to send her to Kindergarten so she is always one of the oldest in the class as she goes thru her schooling.

Answer 3

Hi, my little girl started school when she was 4 as well. (so to the people who think it's weird it's NOT, her birthday fell before the school cut-off date and we wanted her to go with her friends) she is now starting high school this year and has always coped well with her school work and socially.
She didn't like her homework at first - maybe she was a bit little, maybe not. I tried the dot thing one of the others suggested and laughed and laughed when she didn't connect the dots, but drew wiggly lines in and out of them, not touching them. Wow it was frustrating though. Maybe you can make it more interesting by going to a fun paper shop and letting her pick her own pretty paper (those scrapbook shops have really pretty stuff) and pen. Then you can practice writing other names - like Barbie, Elmo, your name, grandma and then her name. My 3 year old likes to do it on a poster board and decorate it with squiggles and worms and stars and has them all over his wall. She'll get it, don't worry.

Answer 4

Just give her some time, I think your doing a great job by not getting frustrated. In a perfect world you could stay home and help, but if your like my wife and me we both work full time jobs and would not survive on one paycheck alone. Have you tried using yellow marker or even let her pick out a color for you to write her name out in then she can trace it? Maybe if she likes pink or purple, blue or green... whatever she likes... or maybe you use the pencil and she can use a marker to trace over the pencil.

Answer 5

Just keep up with it. Show her how it has to be done and keep your cool. Set up a little special desk space at the kitchen table, give her a cool pencil and eraser. You will be teaching her good homework skills. How about you offer her a treat when she finishes? Like TV time or a cookie? If it drives you crazy to watch her whine or fidget around, leave the room and check in every couple minutes. Then, praise her when she finishes. Let her know how smart she is.
I know it is tough but it gets easier when they learn to just do.

Answer 6

Your reaction to Cassandra, the only person on here with an answer targeted to children's true development, is very strange.

Anyway, here's a little blurb on children writing their names:

Developmentally and educationally, young children should not be expected to know this skill until they are five. This is because the muscles in their hands and eyes (eye-hand coordination) are still developing. It is not unusual for young children to have difficulty just holding the crayon or pencil correctly at this stage

. So it is important to be patient and allow your child to explore the feel and motion of writing long before she has to write something as specific as her name.

Answer 7

I wouldnt call it slightly. Its nonetheless tricky at this age to communicate precisely what he's feeling and it frustrates him. I wouldnt propose spanking as its not working. you like him to grasp you not concern you. once you do timeouts you could desire to be consistent. You get all the way down to his point and in a comfortable voice and clarify that his movements are actually not perfect, get a timer and tell him you will sit down for such quantity of time. while timeout is over make beneficial he's conscious why he replace into there then you truly/Dad supply hm some affection I understand you once you're saying which you cant get rid of his extracurricular activities simply by funds project yet my suggestion to you is to end all of them mutually, enable him earn them and not because of the fact hes sturdy for some days or a week, yet for a season. you're saying he has specific time with Dad, yet sounds like he desires specific time with you besides mght. enable him know you recognize the way he feels and that your not likely everywhere. it might desire to be hes pushing you away outta concern your gonna leave him too like his mom did. It sounds like he additionally is conscious what buttons to push yet attempt to not practice how undesirable it bothers you in front of him.You taking him to work out a therapist is a sturdy element to do additionally. know you're doing a sturdy interest and its not consumer-friendly being a discern not to point a stepparent. sturdy success and God bless you and your loved ones

Answer 8

You don't need a study that a child would learn to write their name if they didn't go to school - don't forget - throughout history, most people who wrote learned to write without any school at all. In addition, as homeschoolers, I know tons of kids who write without ever going to school. Someone would have to be very brainwashed to believe you need school to learn to write.

The people who recommended schooling, I have no doubt, would never recommend a school with homework for 4 year olds. If they did, they shouldnt' be in the business of making such recommendations. Yes, I do have a psych degree and yes I do know about child development.

Your daughter is obviously very intelligent and is protesting being involved in such a ridiculous thing. No four year old should have homework. None. Zip. Period. This is outrageous and totally counter to all knowledge on how children learn and what they should be learning at this age.

A 4 year old, btw, learns best in the context of a one on one relationship - with mom. She should be at home. You would have zero trouble with her writing her name if she lived in the real world, at home, hanging out with you. She would WANT to write her name, because she'd see you writing yours. She'd want to write period, because you'd have been writing down her stories that she told you for years, and she would be eager to do that herself.

Please stop forcing her to be in such a stupid environment that knows nothing about the needs and interests of children. She will be so burnt out on school by first grade, she would be rightly angry at you for wasting her time and intellect this way.

Answer 9

Try making a game of it. Or offering a reward, something little, like a piece of gum or extra book at bedtime. And lots of praise when she does do it.

Answer 10

Make a game of writing her name and give her some type of reward when she makes a good effort.