I'm a little stuck here... First of all, I'm a BRIDESMAID.... not the maid of honor... nor family and I have been asked to host the engagment party. I am doing this on a serious budget and they went ahead and invited SIXTY people!! I'm a little suprised at this and don't know how I will do this on my own-- does anyone have any suggestions? Please help!!
2007-01-18 10:56:52 · 14 answers · asked by lanaelise81 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
AND... I have asked other bridesmaids to chip in if possible and all of them are 'broke'... I'm about to be after this!!
2007-01-18 11:07:59 · update #1
You know you have every right to either ask for help or refuse the job entirely. This isn't your wedding, your not the maid of honor, you don't have to do that much!
2007-01-18 11:00:33 · answer #1 · answered by Eowyn 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
You're throwing the party - but they are making up the guest list???? Uh - WRONG!!! Did they already invite the people? If not - sit down with them and the bride and tell them what you are and are not capable of doing.
It's weird anyway that a bridesmaid is throwing an engagement party. An engagement party is to announce the engagement. How can you know who your bridesmaids are before you have even announced the engagement.
What did you say when you were asked? If you said it was okay - that's unfortunate - because now you will have to go back on your word. But in any event - if you are throwing it - YOU get to decide who is invited - and if they invited people - just step back and tell them they will have to take over. Be as nice as possible. It doesn't sound like the bride had anything to do with this - and you want to keep the peace for her sake.
Oh - to answer your question.... None. Because "typically" a bridesmaid doesn't throw an engagement party - the bride's family does.
2007-01-18 11:14:21 · answer #2 · answered by liddabet 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If i were you i would tell her sorry, but you know this is not my responsibility. I would just tell her that, that is the her parents duty. You are mearly a bridesmaid and you should maybe help the maid of honor but nothing else. No where in a book that i have read say's that any bridesmaid should throw the engagment party I would be upset. And say no and if she totally thinks your wrong i wouldn't be in the wedding either.
2007-01-18 16:29:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hold the party at an outdoor park or by the lake. Somewhere were you can fit 60 people and you wont be charged an arm and a leg. If it's an evening engagement party you are expected to serve food. That gets really expensive. So I would suggest doing it right after lunch on a weekend around 2:00 or 3:00, then you just serve drinks and cookies or something. As far as decorating and stuff like that look for website that Will offer suggestions on decorating the type of facility the party will be in.
2007-01-18 11:39:58 · answer #4 · answered by nodesignerdogs4me 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Typically, parents host engagements. However since your friend has asked you to host a party on their behalf and you accepted, I would sit down with her and explain to her that you would be happy to plan a party for her and her finace based upon a budget you can afford. Let her know how many guests you are able to accommodate so she can identify which guests she would like to invite. Also let her know your concerns about other members of her wedding party who are inviting guests that you cannot accommodate. Ask her to sit down and explain to them that you will identify who will be invited and foward the guest list to you and request they cease inviting guests. Once you and the bride have a final guest list, then you and you alone should send out the invitations to those on the list. Any concerns about other guests not being included should be addressed by the bride or the bridesmaids who attempted to invite them.
Since you have a limited budget, I suggest you have a simple reception in the afternoon where you can have a few simple horsdouerves (meatballs, cocktail franks, etc.), finger sandwiches, desserts, coffee, tea and punch.
2007-01-18 11:34:23 · answer #5 · answered by Veronica W 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i did not with an engagement celebration, as we were given married 4 months later. besides the undeniable fact that, if we had planned a protracted engagement i'd opt for the celebration to mirror the range of the marriage. We did no longer have a tremendous wedding ceremony - with 50 day and one hundred evening travellers. i'd bypass for a small engagement celebration with the mother and father, brothers,sisters, grandparents and a couple of perfect pals - and do it in a eating position, finding out on up the bill on the great. this way you could bypass for a pretty putting and get the major relations contributors presented, the position they can talk and get to appeal to close one yet another (it truly is puzzling talking over a pub DJ) Aunties/uncles and cousins can meet on the special occasion (in the journey that they don't get presented on the fowl or stag do) finally its your selection, i wish what ever you go back to a call you've an astounding time. x
2016-11-25 19:11:03 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have NEVER heard of the bridesmaid throwing the engagement party. I think it is very rude to ask you to be in the wedding and the expect you to pay so much money.
You are meant to do the bridal shower. In which case you stick to whatever budget you can afford and the bride just has it take it as it comes.
If you HAVE to do it I would be doing a "bring a plate of food" picnic and if the couple are not happy with it stuff poop for them.
2007-01-19 02:08:30 · answer #7 · answered by jenifajen 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ENGAGEMENT PARTY? This party is given by the parents of the bride or even groom. "AND" if you are supposed to be incharge of the party how did someone else invite everyone. The person having the party is the one to send out invitations. You need to take a step back and think about how well of a friend this is to be doing this to you. You need to talk to your friend or whoever put you in charge and tell them how you feel and that it is not your responsibilitie. One thing I dont understand is why they are having an engagment party now, obviously the wedding has already been planned or you wouldnt be a bridesmaid. Shouldnt they have already been engaged?
2007-01-18 11:16:08 · answer #8 · answered by Mom 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well that was rude of them to make you the one to throw the party then to invite so many people. You should totally ask the rest of the bridesmaid's to help with the part or even refuse it and tell the bride that you can't work on this alone and with that many people. She should understand I mean It's 60 people for one person....HELLO that is like a small wedding....
2007-01-18 11:04:40 · answer #9 · answered by krmzjt21 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm not sure how close you are to others in the wedding party, such as groomsmen, but I would suggest asking for help from anyone involved, including the groomsmen! An engagement party is given by parents generally, so maybe you could ask either the bride or grooms parents to help out. Does the bride or groom have siblings you could ask?
Secondly, I will give suggestions on how to do this on a budgt, a strict one! Ask around, if people aren't willing to go in on the prty costs, ask them to help out by bringing some drinks, dips or something. Have an informal backyard barbque with hamburgers and hotdogs. That can be done farely inexpensively, and does not require much decoration other than red/white checked tablecloths and all of the cheesy grill decorations (like the yellow and red squeeze bottles, baskets for the buns and chips!
If you know anyone with a pool and a nice backyard, have a Hawaiian Luau! (I think thats spelled right!) You can got to www.orientaltrading.com and find leis for REALLY cheap! Get some floating candles and throw them in the pool and get some tiki torches and you have your decorations! Go to your area dollar store or walmart and get some colorful sand buckets to put your chips and stuff in. And, I'm not sure where you live but where I live you can have a pig roasted for a fairly cheep price-that would so go with the theme!
I have also been to an engagement party that was done as a drop in party, and they had coffee and cokes and some sweets. It was done one Sunday afternoon.
Tell the bride and groom that you are having to do this alone, so if they want liquor/alcholic beverages, that they are going to have to pay for it! Explain to them that it jsut isn't possible for you to fund that part!
Again I don't know where you are from, in Louisana, we generally have a large pot of jambalaya for engagement parties! It's kind of a southern cajun tradition! You could go with a cajun Mardi Gras engagement party and decorate things like a swamp! You can get moss, plastic crawfish, beads and stuff from craft stores to decorate with! Play a zydeco cd witht he mardi gras mambo. Jambalaya is fairly cheap to make (rice, chicken, and sausage with some seasonings)! You can make one for 60 people for less than $100.00! Then get some 12 packs of soft drinks and you are good to go!
http://www.mardigrasoutlet.com/
http://www.cajun-shop.com/
Good luck!
2007-01-18 16:50:21 · answer #10 · answered by jen 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why in the world are you doing this anyway? The MOH is the one who is supposed to do the bidding of the bride.
But I do not believe it is one of the BM or MOH responsibilities to host the engagement party!
Sixty people!? You need to approach the parents of the bride or even groom with a party plan based on what you can afford to do, and ask them if they would like to contribute to the party.
For a serious budget and sixty people I think you have problems...
You will have to rent a space, provide food and drink, and possibly entertainment. I'm so sorry!
2007-01-18 11:07:20 · answer #11 · answered by Bethany 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋