my boyfriend and i talk on the phone alot..and sometimes i feel like im the only one talking ive told him alot of my problems and he knows whats going on in my life and he tries to understand and make me feel better about myself the best he can, but lately i've noticed that he has never really talked to me about his problems and whats going on in his life, he thinks that because he's 4 years older than me that he has SO much more experience than i do and that he can help me but i cant help him. i know that there are things that are bugging him but he just tells me that there too much and that i wouldnt be able to handle him..i just want him to talk to me so i can at least TRY to help him....
2007-01-18 10:49:28 · 16 answers · asked by fortified chimp livers 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
most guys don't like to talk....and when they do..it's usually in circles!
2007-01-18 10:55:20 · answer #1 · answered by justanotherday 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, I think every girl who has ever dated an older man, has gone through this problem. If you really do want to know what is going on in his life, then when you are asking him and he tells you it is too much to handle, make a point to let him know that you truly care about him, and that you want to be involved in his life, whether it be a good time, or a bad time for him. You need to let him know that it isnt too much, and that you ask him because you feel like you are burdening him with your problems, and that you want to be able to help him. Getting problems off your chest and talking about them, is the best way to find a solution.
2007-01-18 18:55:44 · answer #2 · answered by * S & W * 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From experience my ex bf never told me how he felt or what was wrong, and in a result we broke up and he ended up hurting me pretty badly. well he finally relized that he has a problem with admiting how he feels. (he just admitted that to me a week ago) and he apologized for it. So if i were u i'd try and get him to talk to ya but if he doesnt u can't make him. He's going to find out in the future that he should of told u. Just because ur younger doesnt mean ur not able to handle whats going on in his life. You deserve to know. But if he doesnt ever tell u anything that relationship may actuall not work out, hope this helped you!!
2007-01-18 18:58:44 · answer #3 · answered by babygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him when he's on the phone that you can at least HELP him with his problems and that you can just plain try. If not then oh well you gave it a try. But you need to tell him that even though you are younger that you may know some other things that he may not. You need to show and tell him that you are not as young as he thinks and that you can be there and can be helpful
2007-01-18 18:57:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe he just wants you for sex so be careful.
Maybe he is considering many things about his past or something.
Also, he is kind of a failed Scientist so he has to weigh and analyse EVERYTHING. Sometimes he just likes to collect data and consider things.
Also, when he isn't 100% sure who he is talking to it limits things. He considered doing a word frequency count at one point and almost did it.
A REAL LETTER with a return address and a stamp would solve that I think. Thats probably the next step if you feel like maybe its going further.
2007-01-18 18:55:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing I have learnt in life is that you cannot force a man to talk. They talk when and if they want to. Just let him know that you are here for him whenever he wishes to share his life/heart with you. You have a choice to stay in a relationship like that where he does not trust you enough to share his heart, or find yourself a man who truly wants to build a solid relationship with you by both of you sharing your heart and lives with each other.
All The Best!
2007-01-18 18:53:19 · answer #6 · answered by fancyface1 l 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing is to not quit trying. I know through experience that guys are not as open about their problems as women are. We try to be tough about it, and try not to let it bother us. Let him know that no matter what he's dealing with, you will not hold it against him. I hope this helps.
2007-01-18 18:54:26 · answer #7 · answered by Lawrence H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are about communicating and maybe you should try asking him how his day was and asking him how his lifes going and give what u got that could help him and maybe he will act like he isn't listening to your advice, but really he is and will use it.
2007-01-18 18:55:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he doesn't want to tell you his problem his probably just want to fix it himself he doesn't want anyones help.Just becuz his 4 yrs older than you you should at least try to talk to him and stuff.Just be nice to him and maybe in awhile he'll tell you his problems or soemthing and also be patience ok soo yea
2007-01-18 18:55:02 · answer #9 · answered by divinarose1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lOL well u r talking about ur boyfriend here. I have a husband who won't even tell me about his problems....men r just men they keep to themselves and try to solve it...they r not like us women who want the whole world to know about our problems even if itz one person they think they have told every1. try to live with that....don't pressure him too much he'll tell u if he wants to.
2007-01-18 18:54:14 · answer #10 · answered by Legant 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too much drama.
Women want relationships, men want to solve problems, usually without assistance. If he does not want help, then let it be that way.
2007-01-18 18:53:36 · answer #11 · answered by Thomas K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋