Why was this lady so harsh in ending our relationship?

Question

This lady was my first ladyfriend. She dumped me harshly. She even bragged that she had found another guy and the she liked him because his skin was lighter than mine (me and the other guy are both African-Americans), she told me I was immature, she quit speaking and talking to me, and she even told me she was relieved to be with this other guy. In addition, she even told my mother that she felt she found "the one" which was not me. She is now married with a child. I was hurt when she dumped me so harshly. She was my first love and she dumped me so angrily with no remorse. I am a not a perfect guy but I am good guy. I always cherishted her and treated her respectfully but to no avail. That was the first and last relationship I ever had. I do not want another relationship.

Please feel free to comment.

Answer 1

It sounds as tho this person was not a very nice person at all. Are you sure there was nothing at all you did to make her so angry?

I feel sorry for you not wanting to have another relationship. But if this women was so terrible, why would you let her win? Your sadness and attitude toward getting involved with another person is basically letting her win. I know it's hard, much easier said than done, but you need to let go of the past. Forgive her (even tho she doesn't deserve it) becoz that would be a good way for you to let go of this.

Once you have moved on from this, I'm sure you will meet a new girl. You do deserve someone special - it's just a matter of finding her.

Goodluck

Answer 2

As cliche this may sound, you WILL recover from this.

There's absolutely no excuses for what she did and maybe it was just a bad judge of character on your part.

I don't know exactly how relationships plunge into a negative tangent but you shouldn't put up these barriers and hold yourself back from taking chances on potential relationships.

Truth of the matter is, everyone gets into at least one relationship where they get told they're not 'the one' but you're not gonna get it right the first time.

I watched a movie called 'The Holiday' and Kate Winslet has a really moving speech which just pretty much says it all:

"I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible, and how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you.

It doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong, or how you could have misunderstood, and how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy.

And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new, and you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again, and little pieces of your soul will finally come back.

And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."

Answer 3

This is not your fault by any means.And always are first loves are what break are hearts.She was so wrong and you letting her hold you back by loving again is only letting her control your heart still.Let go.How? You gotta cry really hard and blame and yell out why? Then you have to get angry for her taking what you and she had and stomping on it! Call her names and scream until your tired(do this in a place where you won't get arrested).Then say hey she is the stupid one I gave her all of me and she disrespected and trashed a good man what comes around always goes around!!!!!!You are who God made you and if she can't value you for that then know matter how much you love her she can never be the one! Love is so precious and it's not to be waisted on someone who doesn't value you for the man-african man you are.Who would say such things about another person unless she felt so awful about herself. You need to take back the power that is instilled in you as a strong black man.Have faith,God led her else where for she was not good enough for his child whom he sees hope and a large future-God knows what he's doing he's been at this for a long time. Please keep the faith and don't let this terrible being bring you down,and by the way she's not a lady.A lady doesn't conduct herself that way!------------------pookie

Answer 4

There is a great line, and wouldn't it be good to remember the source righ tabout now- well, Dr. Phil for one, wherever he got it from.
Nothing people do is about you.
Maybe people make choices based on things you did, to be honest.
But acting out like that is immature of HER and is absolutely NO REFLECTION on you.
This person has her own anger inside, and believe me when I tell you, people like that always have a lot more criticism of themselves than of you.
She is suffering inside, and pointing fingers at everyone else in a desperate attempt to save herself.
Does that mean you should wish her well? Only as much as it helps you to heal. Having pity on our attackers can help put things back into perspective for ourselves.
Oh, look at that, she had to make up all those lies just to hide from herself. (Read: None of what she said is even really true, especialyl the parts about me.)
When you are just about done healing those things, you will be ready to start again. You don't have to. You'll be better prepared, is all.
Best wishes!

Answer 5

There had to some reason, good or not so good, that she ended things so horribly mean. You could have done something or said something hurtful to her or she could just have felt bad about seeing someone else and it was easier for her to split up with her acting angry rather than doing it respectably. If she knew she did not deserve respect over how she had been doing you wrong, cheating or whatever, it would be easier for her to act mad at you so she could actually pull off leaving. Chicken **it! That's what she sounds like.

Answer 6

she bragged and said all those things to hurt you. and you obviously got hurt. but dont let this stop you from having other relationships. be happy

Answer 7

Ohhh.... so there are bad girls too? I thought there were only bad boys....
Don't worry, forget about her and be happy. Good luck.

Answer 8

look, this **** is really a ****

She is like that because this **** does not desirve your shoes.

If there is a new dictionary to be published, we will define the word: **** as : (your x-gf and one of my x-gf)