Telling The Parents......?

Question

Alright so my parents are education orienated (sp). They made me take advanced classes through high school that I would pull a C+ or B- in, I was always a year or sometimes even 2 years ahead of everybody class wise. Im not the smartest guy around though, and I cant even imagine another 4 years of school after high school.

Ive talked to my counselar at school (ex-Marine), an Army Recruiter, and a Marine Recruiter. I WANT to enlist in the Marines and get an associates degree in Criminal Justice (I already have 12 of the 60 credits I need) while Im enlisted, but have no idea how to break it to my parents.

Im in good shape and can easily do the IST at the recruiting office and have good ASVAB scores, I want to enlist as Machine Gunner. Im sure you know the kind of parents Im talking about; all pro-college and my mom is totally anti-me going to the Military but my dad always supported ROTC or the Academies. But I WANT to enlist and get an associates degree from there, REALISICALLY,

how do I tell them and get a decent response from them? (Dads a cop so I thought the CJ Degree would help)

Answer 1

If you want them to take you seriously then you need to ask them for a time to sit and speak with them. Tell them at the onset that you have something to tell them, but you would like to explain your whole position without interruption and then you would be happy to hear their response. Then stick to that so that they can see you are acting in an adult manner.

If things become overheated, excuse yourself and tell them it's better if you all continue after things have cooled down. This will show them that you are thinking with a level head and not emotionally or immaturely.

Think beforehand of any reasons they might object to your plan then have your logical response ready. But please do actually listen to what they have to say. Don't close your mind.

If after speaking to your parents and you are still of the same opinion then tell them so. Ask for their support of your decision, but make it clear that it is your life and your decision.

Good luck.

Answer 2

You are way ahead of the curve and lucky as your father is in law enforcement. He has more idea about the whole thing than a straight civilian. You want to do criminal justice? Gee your Dad is a cop and probably knows ex-military on the force and has given this some thought.

You have good ASVAB scores and you want to be a door gunner in the Marines? The training and posible deployments will most likely preclude continuing education.

I understand your wish to get out and do a job. Gather military education benefits and when you are ready they will be there for you. But you will never be able to justify joining the marines to your parents..... placing yourself needlessly in harms way when you could achieve the same goals within another service. This will make more sense to them. Plenty of people do enlisted time and then do college and become officers. You have to present them with a plan that makes sense. One that you have researched.

Because you at 18 can do what you want to do. Any parent just wants to know that you are simply thinking about your future and all will be well. Soliciting you fathers opinion will go a long way. Though it is great and fine to be a door gunner, if you did well on the ASVABS and still want to pick that certain job...... it willl appear that you are not being thoughtful. Talk to your dad and explore the options. Worst tat can happen is that you just go do it and they are mad at you. But definitly take advantage of what others say.

Answer 3

Tough one. No parent wants their kid to be a Machine Gunner. Machine Gunners are the people with the guns - I think- shooting and being shot at. So - I'd leave that word out of it if I were you - and use another phrase/term/title. Your parents have pushed education on you - because they see it as your key to success. These days, there are not a lot of "successful" people joining the military.

So - from your e-mail - the only reason you want to join the military is so you DON'T have to go to college. I don't think that is going cut it with your parents. You have to show them that you have a real passion for something - not just a non-passion for school.

You don't have to join the marines to get a Criminal Justice degree - so they are not going to buy that. You could just go to college and do it - or the police academy - right? So why become a Machine Gunner - so you can get a degree in criminal justice? That would be my argument if I were your parent.

Get a good argument together. And then - tell your parents in a loving way. Tell them that you appreciate everything they've done for you so far - and that it's helped you learn a great deal about yourself - and that one thing you've learned is that academia is very difficult for you. Maybe that will work.

But truly - my opinion is - that you should take advantage of the fact that somebody is willing to provide you with a college education - and tough it out for four years. Statistics show that people who finish college are more successful financially - and have easier lives. You have a chance to make that happen for you - without people shooting at you. We do have a war on right now.

Good luck!

Answer 4

You are entering infantry. You will learn how to use a wide range of weapons. Machine Gunner, as a job title, disappeared after WWI. You need to be in good physical shape. You will need to be able to listen and follow instructions. You will be stressed and do more than you ever believed yourself capable of. Once a Marine, always a Marine. You will get educational benefits for college, and a security clearance that will tack $5-10K onto a salary after you get out. You will make friendships that will last for the rest of your life.

Tell your parents that it is a career move. I spent 20 years in the army and used my educational benefits and training to work into a top level civilian contractor job making a six-digit salary. If you put it to old dad that way, he will most probably understand. Mom will be upset but write at least once a week and call as often as possible.

Answer 5

My son was in Iraq as an Army Ranger.
He quit college and started basic in Georgia without letting us know so - as a mother "don't do it that way - it creates a lot of unnecessary worry , when a son just disappears".
He is older and wiser now.
We have stood behind his every decision -even that one.
The Marines are an honorable branch of the service. Every job has its bad apples as humans aren't prefect. No matter what some people may believe putting on a uniform doesn't change that.

If you are old enough to make the decision to enlist and old enough to sign the enlistment papers without parental consent - you are old enough to be honest and adult when talking to your parents. If not wait until you are - it is a decision for a man to make . You could change your mind or be firmer in your conviction. Take your time , finish school and follow your dreams not someone else's as you will have to live with your choices.
Explain your reasoning and what you are hoping to accomplish. Understand there may be tears, shouting and so denial - it is normal. They are parents and to them you will always be their child - either in a monastery in Tibet or a Marine in Iraq .

Answer 6

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Answer 7

I'm slow to give advice...cause a wise man doesn't need it , and a fool won't heed it. But my advice to you is stay in school, get the degree ( but a BS in CJ is worthless. I have one ) and then go into the Marines as an officer. The Corps will always be there, but your opportunity to get your degree will lessen over time.

Answer 8

I think once you explain to your parents how important this is to you they will support you. But show them you have really thought about this decision and how you think that it will help you to get the carrer you really want. Tell them how you appreciate all their support in promoting your education and how this has helped you to become the young adult that you are. Us parents just want the best for our kids and sometimes we think we know better than you do but if you are mature when you speak about it and keeo them informed all the way they will surely respect your decision and when they see how you are motivated and sicere they will come round to the idea and probably end up being your greatest allies and very proud parents!! Good luck to you and remember when speaking always be calm and listen to what they have to say but be firm in your decision and stick to them!!

Answer 9

How old are you?

I can understand trying to please your parents after you "leave the nest", but there comes a point when you have to be your own person.

I joined right after high school, but it was easy for me since I come from a military family (dad was air force, granddad was army, uncles were a mix of army and air force) and they understood.

Unless they're willing to pay for your college (which still brings you under their control, IMHO), they should understand that one of the benefits of military service is education opportunities.

Answer 10

Just sit them down and tell them what you want to do and why. Maybe take them to the recruiters office so they can hear about the benefits and get any questions they have answered. In the end though it's your decision and you need to do what you feel like you need to do.