I've been trying to work with my daughter on her abc's (she just turned 3) and we're having a really hard time

Question

I can repeat the letters over and over, even put them into songs other than singing the abc's.(I even dance around and make her laugh) She seems to get it all day long, but when the next day rolls around, she says she has no idea and says that her tummy hurts, etc. (I guess to get out of it?) I've worked with SO many 3 year olds before, but she's my hardest! I can't seem to do enough to get her to memorize her abc's. I'm worried she'll be behind; (I stay at home, no daycare) she's so smart but this is a problem. I've been working with her for over as year, and I think she might have to be with other kids to actually influence her to learn this stuff.

The reason I said I think she may be behind (for all of you that say hardly any 3 year olds know any of thier colors, shapes, abc, whatever) is because I taught 23 three year-olds in which the majority knew thier colors, abc's, could count in spanish to ten, and even count in english to 20. We were on a regimen of learning, not sloughing off because thier minds absorb and develop at an accelerated rate until around the age of 6. There were some who were interested in different ways of learning, so I had to improvise. My daughter loves song and dance; I was simply asking this question to really see if any of you knew of anything that was effective in teaching your own kids.

Answer 1

Don't give up on her. Because you are her mother she is probably thinking she can get away with it more than if she were with a daycare teacher or pre-k teacher. I know otheor people get more results out of my daughter than I do.

You still have plenty of time to work with your daughter. My daughter is 6 and is developmentally delayed and has mild cerebral palsy. She knows how to spell at least 9-10 words...if not more, knows her alphabets and numbers but still has not spoken a word since she's born. We are working on her saying "Mom" right now. We work on ABC's and 123's everyday through therapy and at home to try and get her speak. It's a relentless journey and can sometimes be very challenging and discouraging for me.

One thing I found that is encouraging is the LeapFrog and VTech learning toys. We have about 4-5 different learning computer toys. The one my daughter loves the most is the LeapFrog LeapPad. There are Easy Reader Phonics kits which is a series of books. It has a cartridge that it inserted into the pad itself, and it has a magic pen that when moved over a letter on a page, it speaks it out and reads the sentence, and there are also games on there. I would highly recommend this for your daughter. Just be patient with her and maybe work with her for 15-20 minutes out of each day. Then give her play time with maybe Sesame Street, or some other learning program on Noggin. I truly think this has helped my daughter so much.

Good luck and I hope this helps encourage you.

Answer 2

First off, I would say lighten up and let her go at her own pace. But, if you're hell-bent on teaching her the alphabet, try learning letters as parts of words instead. For example, look at picture books that have simple words spelled out..."COW...Hmmm...c-o-w...I wonder if we can find anything else in this book that starts with C?" Stuff like that. You could also take a walk and see how many things you can find that start with a certain letter (make it an easy letter, like T or C). It's a lot more fun than just staring at a letter alone and being asked to memorize it. My son is 3 and he also likes to play Play-Doh letters...I printed capital letters BIG (like about 6" tall) on sheets of paper, then helped him roll Play-Doh into "snakes" and then he puts the "snakes" on the page over the letter, making a Play-Doh letter. He also likes the refrigerator letter magnets. Get books like Dr. Seuss's dictionary or other kids' dictionaries (LOTS of pictures, not so many words) so she can just look at the pictures and letters/words together. My son likes to "read" words in books by running his finger under the letters: "B-A-L-L", even though he can't actually put them together yet and realize that the word is ball. Good luck! Most importantly, HAVE FUN!!!! Learning at this age should be nothing but fun or you will turn her off of learning forever.

Answer 3

I was a stay at home Mom for almost three years and we worked and worked on colors, counting etc.. then when I took him to daycare He learned so much just in the first two weeks. I definitely think there is something about learning with other children. Maybe you should take her to a good daycare for a couple of hours a day. Good luck.

Answer 4

Stop worrying about learning at that age and concentrate on her just having fun. There is no such thing as a child that is "behind" at 3 years old...she just learned to walk not that long ago. The more you pressure, the more she'll push back. Even worse than that, she sees that learning isn't fun since she can see it is obviously causing mommy stress (trust me...she picks up on your worrying). 3 years ago, she wasn't even able to focus her eyes...more or less form sentences or memorize things. Just relax. You also have to give things time to soak in and let her want to do them. Stop doing the ABC's for a while. Let her play the Elmo Keyboard Game on Sesame Street dot com with you...or better yet...by herself. I'll bet that as soon as you stop worrying and take the pressure off, she'll surprise you.

Answer 5

I agree that putting pressure on her isn't the best tactic, although I'd keep exposing her to letters in different ways (they have magnets, foam bath toys, etc.). But is it the letters that are a problem, or the order of the alphabet?
My son is actually starting to learn letters already (he's not quite two) from a Thomas the Tank Engine computer. Maybe you can find some kind of fun game like that that will interest her.

Answer 6

Umm..I am a mother and I have 3 kids. They were all in daycare at age 3. If she is having a hard time to learn abc maybe you should try daycare. Try it for a week to see if she likes it. If you don't want to send your child to daycare for a whole day try a half a day. Also don't pressure here. Make cookies shaped like the abc's. Do carfts and enjoy some time with your baby girl because when she is a TEEN.

Answer 7

Take her to the doctor about the "tummy ache." There might be a real problem there that's causing her too much stress to learn. Or she may just be having a stress reaction because she wants to please you but just can't remember. At 3, she is not necessarily developmentally advanced enough to remember all of her ABC's. Check her out (tell the doctor about the ABC problem as well as the tummy ache so he can tell you about possible developmental problems that may be interfering with her learning ability) and give her time and patience. With any luck, she'll have them down pat before she's four.

Answer 8

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Fun ways to learn : use it in moderation w/ reading and take it more in stride, she will more than likely come around.

"tummy hurts" may be her special way of saying she does not like or is struggling w/ attention overload. Normal for her age. Be sure to Consider double checking with doctor to just be sure... hearing, talking, everthing is ok... if needed.

3 year olds, are like sponges, they absorb it ALL in. Experience as many different things as possible with her. Give her finger paints and crayons. Sit w/ her and just have fun together. Work on Shapes, Colors, Opposites, big/small, tall/short. UP/DOWN, Numbers 1-3, couple vs few. etc.

Answer 9

I feel the same way about son, he turned 3 in sept. what finally worked for him was writing the letter on paper and then hanging them on the wall by the kitchen table. Whenever we are there (eating or doing art) we sing the ABC's and he has begun to recognize the letters. I found that he knew more then I realized, just not in order. It has helped a lot.

Answer 10

so she marches to a different beat, no biggie, the "My tummy hurts" decoy is VERY effective, and in use in this house as well, problem is that we've used, and heard it BEFORE, LOL, she'll be fine as soon as other kids start repeating the song around her, she'll want to know it too (actually thats where "Daycare" is better than being home but, thats ok too, at least you and her won't get 13 colds a year like the rest of us that use daycare.