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I've been dating my bf for almost 4 years now. Things between me & him have changed alot since over 1 year. Seems like we hang out less & less each time. We broke up back in July and got back together Early October. He said he rather we break up and take time off because we were arguing alot but- seems like we don't spend enough time together anymore. I can't get him to tell me what's wrong- what has changed. We don't even have sex like we used to if anything about 1-2 times/week. We don't live together. He's 29 and i'm gonna be 24 next month. he live with his mom still and i share a house with some roomates. I have a 4 yera old boy who i care for & support. What do you think can be?? seems like he's so used to me he doesn't take me out like he used to before. He ahs a ton of friends and i don't who always invite him to get togethers but they're mosly married. every time i bring up marriage he says that we're not ready because we don't make enough money to be able to

2007-01-18 08:35:15 · 17 answers · asked by mari d 2 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

live together. He tells me there's no one is his life but- it just seems like he's lost alot of interest in me. Meanwhile when we don't hang out- i spend alot of time with my family eg: my brothers', sister, mom etc. Since i don't have any friends i find myslef feeling pretty lonely if my family isn't around for me to hang out with htem when my bf isn't around. Do you think i'm the problem? that i might be antisocial? i found that after i had my son- the few friends i had started to slowly disappear. They are single, partying & going to college & i'm not. I think that's why they won't hang out with me because half of the time when they call me they want to go to a club and i can't go kuz i have my son & bf that won't approve of me being at a club. what's wrong wtih me? am i expecting too much from him? what should i do? i ran out of ideas. I just wanna go on with my life and know if my bf wants to be serious or not. How should i do this?

2007-01-18 08:39:38 · update #1

17 answers

Interesting. It sounds like there are a lot of unanswered questions here. I think honestly it sounds like you both might be growing apart. It's a bad thing and it's not a great thing. It's one of situations "it is what it is". But remember too; things don't stay the same forever, good, bad, and indifferent. I wouldn't bring up marriage anymore or ask him what's wrong. If he seems to get more and more distant, it's time to think about yourself and what you want for you. He can either tell you things or let it go and you be on your way. I've learned a million times that if I have to analyze my relationship with the man, I need to move on. Men who are IN LOVE, will move mountains to be with you. Regardless.

2007-01-18 08:40:21 · answer #1 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0 0

It sounds like you and your boyfriend is in a rut..Many many marriages go through that.. He must really feel for your son, or I think he would of cut loose..You didn't say whether that was his child or not..So I am assuming that it's not..I also feel that he still has feeling for you too. You sound more maturer than he is, and I would try to start breaking off with him, You need a man that is going to stand on his own two feet and be a man...You can break off without a huge fight, show maturity, show him that you are strong. People think that they need to be with someone in order to feel complete..If he can't give you what you want, then he has issues that he needs to deal with..Come on you even said that sex isn't all that good now..Don't stay in a relationship out of convince..There is a man for you..patience..

2007-01-18 08:57:56 · answer #2 · answered by Diana J 5 · 0 0

You will not like what I have to say. It cost me $60.00 to get married. I was married in Idaho, that was it. Money has nothing to do with it my dear. You need to start all over. Find a new guy. He is not the one for you if he still lives with his mother. He is set in his ways and you can not change him. He doesn't have the guts to tell you good-bye but the signs are there. You need to read them. Take the hint. Make a clean break, start dating again. You should like a strong women but this guy after 4 years with you as you described, has no intention of leaving his mother. Find a real man. Someone with a future and someone that can love you for you. Sorry.. .Good Luck

2007-01-18 08:45:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Sorry to say but if he's not coming around much and doesn't want sex...there is probably someone else. A good relationship does not need a "break". AND that's not fair to your child. Boys need stable men, not ones who come and go. On the other hand...Some guys think they need to sow their oates before they settle down, but he should at least be able to tell you the truth of the situation after four yrs. (That also may teach your son something you don't want him learning.)

2007-01-18 08:42:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

wow sounds like you need a new boyfriend who is ready to commit to you because if you've been together for more then 3 years and your 24 then honey it's time to find a man that can put his pants on right and marry you. you can do so much better. As for teh fighting everyone relationship has fights no matter how much you advoid it. But i seriously think you should dump him and find someone else knew. He isn't worth your love.

2007-01-18 08:40:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You might want to find someone else to talk too. It seems that he knows that you are always going to be there so now he has no concerns for your feelings. You said that you have tried to find out what is wrong with you and he wont tell you. Then YOU need to move on he is wasting your time.

2007-01-18 08:40:02 · answer #6 · answered by The one who knows 3 · 0 0

This happened to me and my (ex) boyfriend and we ended up spliting for good Don't let it come down to that talk it out plan nights for the two of you just to hang out I didn't even take the time to think about that untill after the break-up... and I really wish I would've at least tryed to help us stay together...
Been there....Ash

2007-01-18 08:41:33 · answer #7 · answered by Ash 2 · 0 0

It in basic terms appears like he misses you a lot and is searching ahead to being jointly. i'd not say there are any indications he will cheat. lengthy distance relationships are frustrating even though it will be woth it interior the top!

2016-10-15 10:15:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

im sorry but i think you guys need to break it off. it seems like your relationship has gone stale. you care so much for him but your not seeing naything in return, you deserve better then that. he should be dying to marry you, instead he is making up excuses not to see you and putting things off. he has changed, and sometimes it takes something drastic like breaking it off for good for him to realize things. because being with someone for as long as you guys have been.. he is getting used to you and pushing you farther and farther away, and seeing how far he can push you. stop dealing with his crap, break it off. i know its hard and it will take a while, but you cant settle for him - he isnt treating you the way you should be treated. be strong, you and your lil boy deserve the best and he isnt right now.

2007-01-18 08:42:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Hard to say with people I've never met but maybe he's taking too much time.

2007-01-18 08:40:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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